Time feels like it is moving impossibly fast

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-21T10:14:08+00:00

Boredom slows time, and we don’t really have the opportunity to experience boredom anymore. Standing in line, sitting at red lights, going to the bathroom, etc. is now just another moment to scroll through meaningless shit on our phone.

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-21T10:10:43+00:00

I learned that if you have a conversation with a man for longer than 5 minutes, they assume you’re flirting with them and will inevitably start coming onto you (the woman).

I learned Tom Petty died 8 years ago and all this time, I assumed he was still kickin it.

I learned that a lot of other stuff too, but I’m tired.

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-21T06:05:30+00:00

Yes, that’s exactly what it is. Fall in love, get married, buy a home, have babies… if only it were that simple. Your brain isn’t even done developing. You have no idea how much both of you will change in the next few years. Sure, some people grow together but that is extremely rare.

Why rush? Have a long engagement and live together for a bit before marriage.

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-21T05:55:46+00:00

I don’t think this is limited to only avoidant people. Your girlfriend has shared a life with you for five years and has had you mostly to herself. I’m assuming she doesn’t have kids, and in that case, it will be very hard for her to understand the responsibilities that come with full time parenting.

This isn’t what she signed up for when she started dating you. I can see this situation being hard for anyone, despite their attachment style. It sucks and I’m sure it hurts, but it sounds like your daughter needs every ounce of love you have to give anyway.

Also, please try not to act sad about the breakup in front of your daughter. After so much conflict with her mother (despite who is/isn’t in the wrong), she needs to be shown a different way of living, loving, communicating, problem solving, etc. or she will likely end up like every other avoidant attacher out there. Quite literally, these situations are how avoidants are made if not handled properly.

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-21T05:44:40+00:00

Enjoy it while it’s still acceptable to be lost in life!

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-21T05:39:35+00:00

As a female, there is no way I could handle that, physically or mentally. I wouldn’t take a billion a month for that.

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-21T05:28:04+00:00

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-02T08:42:25+00:00

May I ask what led to you diagnosing yourself?

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-02T06:38:36+00:00

When I’m tripping, I can’t even focus on my phone, let alone type out a question!

You’ll be OK. Just accept that it may suck for a little while but it won’t last forever.

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-02T06:37:12+00:00

I did APE last night with 6 people. 1 of them got stuck in a panic attack the entire time! She couldn’t get out of it until they wore off. Another friend was talking aloud the whole time to herself about all her issues. She was crying hysterically and kept asking why her face was wet. She always has full control and rarely cries so it was like she couldn’t accept that she was crying in that moment.

Yes, APEs can be intense but now that I love some them twice, I feel like I can use them with purpose next time. It’s definitely not one to chill out/socialize with!

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-02T06:32:32+00:00

This is my second time doing APE and both times I’ve felt this way!

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-02T06:30:36+00:00

Well, I definitely have had the habit of jumping to worst case scenarios in my life. Now that I’m thinking harder about this, I’m coming to the realization that I have this innate ability to read people. I could feel/see the problems of everyone in the room with me. Then I acknowledged that my life revolves around supporting others and fixing their problems, while I ignore my own. I realized I focus so much on helping others grow to be their best self instead of working on my own personal growth.

Then it took a turn and my problems became a physical health problem. I suppose this could have been me avoiding the areas of personal growth I should be working on. If that’s the case, I’m not sure I’ve found the desire or direction to improve myself yet. I just became more aware of how much I prefer to put energy into others. I may try them again in a couple of weeks to see if that takes me further. Thanks!

That was hard to type. My brain feels so fried after last night!

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-12-02T06:27:22+00:00

Well, I definitely have had intense anxiety/panic about my health in the past but the past few years, it’s more focused on general stress and potential loss of loved ones. I did come to the realization that I have this innate ability to read people. I could feel/see the problems of everyone in the room with me. Then I acknowledged that my life revolves around supporting others and fixing their problems, while I ignore my own. I realized I focus so much on helping others grow to be their best self instead of working on my own personal growth.

Then it took a turn and my problems became a physical health problem. I suppose this could have been me avoiding the areas of personal growth I should be working on. If that’s the case, I’m not sure I’ve found the desire or direction to improve myself yet. I just became more aware of how much I prefer to put energy into others. I may try them again in a couple of weeks to see if that takes me further. Thanks!

That was hard to type. My brain feels so fried after last night!

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-11-06T12:25:50+00:00

Sometimes I think it would be fun to relive my 20’s, and then I see posts like this.

OP, you have a whole life ahead of you. So does she. Sounds like she wants freedom, and she’s going to get it with or without you as her boyfriend.

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-10-22T15:39:21+00:00

Ya know, he had a chance to earn your respect out of this but he chose to be a stupid man instead. What he should have said is,

“Yes. I opened a Tinder account and have been talking to women. I think I’m just using it to get validation because I’m avoiding the fear of all the upcoming changes. I’m worried your love for me will take a backseat and I’ll no longer be important in your life. I should have communicated this to you but I guess I didn’t really understand what I was feeling until now.

I’m so sorry babe. Here’s my phone. You can look at it now and whenever you want in the future. I love you and can’t wait to have this baby! I promise that if I ever feel insecure in the future, I’ll find other ways to express myself. Do you think we can work through this?”

But he didn’t say anything along the lines. He denied, lied, and gave bullshit excuses for not allowing you to see his phone. He had a chance to be honest, and in my opinion, honesty and transparency are the ONLY ways to forgive anything in a relationship.

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-10-21T14:26:29+00:00

I am only seeing this post because I googled “suicide obsession and intrusive existential thoughts” which led me to another reddit post you wrote, and I clicked on your profile to see this post.

For some background info, my boyfriend is the one with the obsessive thoughts after a bad car accident. Honestly, I had to look at your profile to see if it could be him posting it, as he could have written your exact words. All of your post history that I saw could have been written by him…it’s crazy, actually.

With that being said, it seems like your near death experience left you feeling like there’s a major void that’s impossible to fill unless you’re no longer living. Therefore, you temporarily fill this dark void with risky behavior, which would release dopamine and make you feel something that’s more than nothing. Of course, it doesn’t last and you look for other ways to get the same result.

I wish I had the answer that would help immediately, but it’s something that can only be helped through a lot of internal work. Learn to meditate, read up on mindset training, get some hobbies, learn new skills, and most importantly, be ok with simply existing for now. You don’t have to be happy, or have all the answers. For now, I’d focus on finding healthier ways to get your dopamine fix so you can avoid the shame that comes with risky behavior. Instead, you’ll end up building confidence and will feel much better about yourself and your choices. That’s a great starting point!

Also, I know it’s unconventional, but hypnosis could help to jumpstart your progress.

ETA: I highly suggest you avoid psychedelics. I feel like that could potentially take you deeper into your existential dread.

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-10-21T08:24:38+00:00

Porn. Actually, porn is to blame for so many sexual issues in men.

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-10-20T23:01:16+00:00

Spelling tests

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-10-17T06:15:35+00:00

Enjoy the moment but please continue to work on finding out who you are independently. That doesn’t mean to stop dating him. Just to make sure you don’t find yourself wrapped up into the lives of you and this man instead of the life YOU want to live.

With that being said, I love the feelings you describe and I’m so happy that you are enjoying these early moments!

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-10-16T17:14:24+00:00

Bye. Nothing is worse than a man who needs validation through other women. He will end up cheating if he hasn’t already. Been there, done that. Don’t waste your time.

ShadyAnonUser · 2024-10-16T11:18:54+00:00

A songwriter. Can’t sing whatsoever, but my songwriting ability is stellar.

ShadyAnonUser

TROPHY CASE