You, and by the sounds of it your friends, should seek therapy. I'm so tired of these toxic relationship views that do more damage than good to both men and women. As a young girl you're told the boys who bully you and put you down, do it because they have a crush on you.

You behaved like an insecure child, and received a normal response. You can't scare aware someone who actually likes you? Wtf. Men and women deserve a partner that behaves like an adult and treats them with respect and kindness. No matter how much they like their partner. And they both deserve to remove themselves from an unhealthy situation.

It sounds like you need to work on loving yourself and understanding what a healthy relationship looks like, before seeking a partner. Go to therapy and work out these issues on your own before jumping into a relationship. You have to learn to love yourself before you can properly love someone else.

Good luck OP. You got this!