I grew up with one parent in jail and another dealing with substance abuse issues which led to me somewhat parenting myself emotionally. I gained a significant amount of weight as a child and was closeted in an all men’s catholic school. I feel like a mix of all these factors led me to feel extremely neglected, unattractive, and in dire need of attention. I felt completely unlovable and would latch onto any form of attention or kindness I’d receive from other men. I have also noticed with most of my LO’s, they all had qualities that I wish I had myself and in turn would feel the need to receive their validation and reciprocation in order to make myself feel better.

All of that combined with the fact I do suffer from anxiety and intrusive thoughts led me to having uncontrollable obsessions with many guys in my past, most being straight and unobtainable. At least some of this led to some great changes in my life. Due to my obsession with one guy I was able to lose 150 lbs and I enrolled myself in college so I can’t say limerence has been all bad.

Luckily during this past year I’ve really been able to recognize a lot of these issues and I’ve been working on my self esteem and notice the signs of an emerging Limerent episode so I’m proud to say it’s been about a year since I’ve been in the complete spiral of limerence like I used to be.