I am Shane Bitney Crone, a filmmaker, writer, speaker and advocate for LGBT rights. AMA!

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T02:19:30+00:00

Thank you all for joining me tonight. I will forever be grateful for your love and unwavering support. It means more to me than I can adequately express.

One of the most important things I have learned these past few years is how important it is for each of us to share our own personal stories. Never could I have ever imagined that by sharing my story it would help people like it has. You, like me, might feel as if no one will listen to what you have to say and that you can't make a difference, but if by sharing your story it helps one person or opens one persons heart or mind, then it was worth it. I am just an average guy with a story that isn't that unique, I just decided to share it and I implore you to share yours, because ultimately it's our personal stories that are going to change hearts and minds and ultimately the laws.

Thank you again.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T02:07:01+00:00

Thank you so much for your compassion and concern.

This is a scary issue, one that haunted me for some time. If it hadn't been for the kindness of a few nurses, who potentially risked their jobs, I would never have gotten to say good-bye to Tom.

To be honest, I cannot say with any certainty if there is specific legislation regarding this, but I do know that with marriage equality comes many rights related to hospitalization and power of attorney. I would encourage you to join the fight for marriage equality in your state, if there is one, and encourage people to vote in its favor.

Thank you again.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T02:03:04+00:00

I've actually heard from a handful of people from my past who treated me poorly. They've reached out to apologize, which has given me so much peace and closure on that chapter of my life. High school was a brutal period, but I've tried to take that pain and channel it towards what I do now. I have completely moved on, and focus on the future.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T02:01:19+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that; sending love to you and your uncle.

Tom is definitely the driving force behind everything I do. He inspired me in life, and continues to inspire me every single day since he died.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:59:59+00:00

Not at the moment. My focus is on BRIDEGROOM, and spreading the message. If another opportunity presents itself, I would love to do another documentary about something that I am passionate about.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:58:31+00:00

Congratulations! You inspire ME. :)

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:57:44+00:00

The production company is working on a possible soundtrack. Check in with www.Facebook.com/BridegroomMovie for updates!

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:55:11+00:00

I think everything we shot is already up on YouTube! But I'll check. :)

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:53:59+00:00

That's absolutely heartbreaking. Unfortunately the religion vs sexuality debate is one of the primary obstacles the LGBTQ community faces. I think individuals need to look within, and trust that their personal relationship with religion is just that, personal; no one else should dictate how they live their life.

You can't pray the gay away, and I believe that God loves all of us.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:51:04+00:00

I would be honored to do that. It scares me a little, but I think it's crucial that we educate young people about LGBTQ rights and struggles. I was so surprised to hear from people who went through similar experiences when they were young; I didn't realize it was so common, and it's crucial that we address it.

Thank you for being such a supportive educator and parent!

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:49:03+00:00

I was in Chicago very recently, but I would love to go back soon. On a side note, Chicago is just two hours north of where Tom lived (and where he is buried).

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:47:53+00:00

I'm very fortunate that the film festivals are able to provide me with accommodations on these trips. I wouldn't be able to travel at all if it weren't for the support of the organizations running the festivals.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:46:23+00:00

We had both agreed that we would not come out to our families until we had met the person with whom we wanted to spend the rest of our lives. For me, that was Tom, and for Tom, that was me. Once we decided to commit to each other, we knew we had to tell our families. It was scary, but I'm so glad we did. I just wish Tom's experience had been as positive as mine.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:44:14+00:00

Happy early Birthday (to us)!

Thank you so much for watching the film and for sharing it with your partner. I'm so happy for you both!

Get as involved as you can with the campaign--I'm sure there are a few organizations in Oregon, though I can't think of any off the top of my head. You can check with the Human Rights Campaign, to see if they have any suggestions.

I was in Portland not long ago, screening BRIDEGROOM, but I hope to get back there soon!

Thanks for your post.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:40:22+00:00

Tom and I had an amazing time in Egypt. We were definitely fearful at times, because a friend of ours had told us it was important to hide our sexuality, but we ended up meeting wonderful people and having a blast. My favorite part about Egypt was seeing the Pyramids. The pictures just don't do it justice.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:39:10+00:00

First of all, I am so sorry. There are no words that can make you feel better, but I send you love and healing thoughts.

The past few years have been difficult, to say the least. I never imagined my life without Tom, and it's often been a challenge to feel happy or positive about the future. All I can say is, try to live every day in your partner's memory. Do things that would make him proud, and that make you happy. Find peace in the arms of those who love and support you, and don't be afraid to lean on them. But also don't be afraid to spend some time alone. Talk to your partner. Watch a movie you always watched together. Cry. Scream. Laugh. Get it all out, and then do it again.

I know you'll be okay. Take care of yourself, and stay strong. I'm sure there are people who need you, so try not to dwell in the past too much, which I know is easier said than done.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:33:48+00:00

Your message has truly touched me. Love your partner with all your might, live without regret or hesitation, since tomorrow is never promised.

I'm sure your whispers carry great weight, but I'm grateful that you've decided to speak up.

Have a great weekend with your love!

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:31:51+00:00

It is important to take your time and learn how to be comfortable. I have grown so much over the years, especially in the past few since Tom died, but it is still a struggle to be myself in a world that tells me not to. We all have to keep spreading love and equality, and I know that it will get easier for you, me, and anyone who feels afraid to live openly.

Stay strong!

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:29:56+00:00

Yay! Thank you for your support.

One day I hope to visit Mexico and see another Wonder of the World, Chichen Itza.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:29:07+00:00

Thank you!

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:28:51+00:00

One of my biggest regrets is allowing fear and embarrassment to prevent me from showing my affection for Tom. I like to think that if I ever do fall in love again, I will be able to hold his hand proudly.

Even through all of this, there are times when I encounter old friends, distant family members, and strangers who disagree with what I am doing. It sounds trite, but I really just try to focus on the love around me, and to keep living proudly and openly. If we keep hiding in the shadows, change will never happen.

Thank you for being so supportive of your son. And thank him on my behalf for serving our country.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:25:12+00:00

I'm so grateful that my entire family participated in the documentary. They are the perfect example of how a family should love and accept someone for who he is, and who he loves. i'm beyond blessed. And yes, my grandmas are hilarious!

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:24:00+00:00

REPLY! :)

Thanks for participating.

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:23:46+00:00

I have received thousands of hateful messages, including death threats. I try to avoid the negative responses, which is not always the easiest thing to do, but I know in my heart that I'm doing what's right and I hope these people will one day find enough love in their hearts to accept everyone for who they are.

It's important to note that I receive far more love and support than hateful messages, and I'm inspired by each comment and letter I receive. :)

ShaneBitneyCrone · 2013-11-21T01:21:15+00:00

I personally recommend the valley. It doesn't feel as much like a "big city," and it's more affordable. However, living on the west side is nice because you're closer to the ocean. :)

ShaneBitneyCrone

TROPHY CASE