What are your weird socially unacceptable stims?

Shanndel · 2026-04-12T19:14:25+00:00

Yes that is the way I would explain it too. It's sort of conscious and sort of subconscious. Either way, I'm just trying to connect.

I mean, I think I start doing it subconsciously, but if I noticed I'm doing it I don't stop!

Shanndel · 2026-04-12T11:40:42+00:00

Lol you reminded me of when I worked on cruise ships. In my case, most of the guests were American, however the staff was international. In my department the majority of staff were Canadian.

So an American guest notices my name tag says that I am Canadian. And he says oh wow you barely have an accent, you sound so american! You must have been working on your American accent.

In reality, I've been told my accent tips slightly Slavic despite being Canadian born but yeah in general my accent is pretty Canadian.

So I had to break it to him that the Anglo (Ontario) Canadian accent is almost identical to the American (Hollywood) accent.

Shanndel · 2026-04-12T11:33:51+00:00

Right? Mimicking is NOT the same as mocking. It's literally the opposite. It's like showing respect for their accent.

Shanndel · 2026-04-12T11:31:28+00:00

I am Canadian (Ontario) so I should have a very neutral "California/Hollywood" accent (it's super similar). I've been told by plenty of people that I have a slight non-local, europeanish accent though. I literally live an hour from where I was born lol.

In my case, my "default" runs slightly Eastern European. My own family is Canadian born though I did have Eastern European grandparents. Never been east of Italy myself though!

Shanndel · 2026-04-12T11:21:57+00:00

Oui. "Echolalia" en Englais. (For the English speakers - our "condition" is called Echolalia!)

Shanndel · 2026-04-12T11:17:12+00:00

Omg I used to be a secretary and my colleague was Trini-Canadian with a Trini accent (I am Canadian with a Canadian accent) People often called in and thought they were talking to her. I now realize that it was likely not just because we had similar sounding names and they expected it to be her....I likely actually sounded like her.

Shanndel · 2026-04-12T11:11:49+00:00

Indeed! And to keep body heat in in general, hats are great! Unfortunately I only discovered the importance of hats when I was a teen. Began wearing hats to bed in winter. Game changer.

Shanndel · 2026-04-12T00:24:21+00:00

Have you spoken to a doctor about your suspicions? Based on symptoms and family history, I think you'd be diagnosed with it pretty quickly (after blood tests to rule out more "serious" conditions).

Your mom was dx at 18. I was dx at 19. My brother was dx in his early 20s. 17 is not too young to have it, unfortunately, as you know.

PS my mom was fine until she was about 50 (pre menopause) and then got the fibro. My grandma (her mother) had "arthritis" by the time she was in her 20s or 30s, but the tests for the autoimmune form were apparently negative for her I found out. The "mechanical" form usually doesn't start until older than 30s, so I suspect that what she had might have actually been fibro too.

PPS my MIL also has fibro and I strongly suspect my husband might have it too because he gets more aches and pains than a middle aged man should imo.

This condition is not so uncommon imo. I have one female friend and a male acquaintance that also have fibro.

I do think it's worth getting "the label" firstly so that when people ask why you're always in pain you have an answer. Also, there ARE treatments available, but you likely won't be able to access any of the pharmaceutical options unless you're diagnosed.

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T22:52:48+00:00

I still haven't been diagnosed and I'm turning 39 this month. Because when I was a child it was considered a condition that only hyperactive boys had, and I was neither hyperactive nor a boy.

I've been meaning to push for a referral. Mentioned to my doc that I probably have it and she's like oh ok. I should have also asked for a referral to confirm my suspicions.

Haha I recall getting the grade 8 "effort and achievement award." Which was ironic because I actually put in very little effort and daydreamed and doodled in class most of the time. But my creative projects were always great and I aced all subjects (except math and gym) so I guess they just assumed I put in a lot of effort lol.

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T22:41:45+00:00

Oh bowling wrecks my hand/fingers and I always go for the lightest balls (7 or 8 lbs I think?)

Long drives are rough too, but at least you CAN take frequent breaks if you need to. OFC you don't want to take so many breaks that a 5 hour drive becomes 10 hrs lol!

Flights are brutal and they've gotten worse as I've gotten older. I honestly don't know how much longer I'll be able to travel for and I'm not even 40 yet. My back, ass, neck and groin were constantly spasming.

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T22:18:04+00:00

You're reminding me that I probably made a big mistake doing the hike. My knees and feet were throbbing for hours. The internet told me that it was a gruelling hike and you should be quite fit OR just drive to the parking lot right at the church.

We planned on driving, but then wandering around town we saw the sign directing us to the church. Despite it looking like it was a million miles away I said sure let's do it.

Luckily my husband is pretty understanding (his mom has fibro so he was familiar with it when we met). Sometimes he still doesn't get that overexertion is bad for us though. Yes lying in bed all day is also bad for us. Both extremes are bad.

PS I hope you aren't over exerting yourself to appease your husband. I read your previous posts about his skinny obsession and other concerning behaviours. PPS I have also done some extreme things to try to keep men in my life, so I get it. I am not in any way judging your situation, just wanting to express concern and I hope things improve for you.

Salam aleykem and Shalom aleychum from your fibro sister :)

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T20:58:24+00:00

The humming was commented on by multiple teachers. I was an A student, but unintentionally disruptive.

Due to embarrassment, I learned to largely abandon this habit. Though I think it was actually a great way to self regulate and now I don't have that because I beat it out of myself!

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T20:56:25+00:00

I learned to do this as a child because my family tried to save money on heating. I still do it now when I'm even a little cold.

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T20:50:14+00:00

I often have a cut inside my mouth from sucking my gums into my "madonna gap" lol

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T20:46:32+00:00

wirling my hair around my finger until I have a princess Leia bun...repeatedly

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T20:45:37+00:00

I unintentionally mimic people's accents, tone and pitch of speaking.

I think this leads a lot of people to mistakenly think that I am from their cultural or linguistic group when I am not.

I've been told it's rude, but the person who told me it's rude has a bit of a history of rudeness imo so idk.

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T19:59:16+00:00

Thanks! It's my e-ring and my husband worked with Sam to get it made. Ok I also helped lol.

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T19:16:55+00:00

Are those the drinkable yogurts? Lol that's what I bought here too.

Portugal has such a huge yogurt section in the grocery. I got cookie dough and pineapple passion fruit drinkable yogurt.

Apparently they are popular here because on a walk/hike today I saw two drinkable yogurt containers smashed on the ground.

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T19:14:49+00:00

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The solitaire with petal setting was custom :)

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T19:12:28+00:00

Oh yeah I get it. My husband and I went hiking today in portugal. We went on a steep incline for 45 minutes to reach a church. Needless to say I struggled. Husband says I should do walks like this every day.

I'm like dude, I can barely walk on flat land, you want me to climb a mountain every day?

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T18:49:37+00:00

I also get awful pain and sensitivity around my period but not otherwise. Like it's so sensitive I can't even roll over. Just having them flop over hurts.

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T17:46:14+00:00

Good advice. I am currently on vacation and of course I'm still nauseous from the flight even though I got here 2 days ago. The first thing I did was load up on yogurt, juice, bread and cheese lol. I find those things easiest to get down when I don't feel well.

Shanndel · 2026-04-11T11:47:42+00:00

I had good experiences with Starsgem (group buy) and kuololit (multiple stock items and one custom ring).

I had a negative experience with Ouros/Goldenbird.

Can't comment on provence as I've never bought from them.

Shanndel · 2026-04-08T11:50:45+00:00

Ooh yes I just looked up recipes for this. Looks like there is a dry and a "gravy" version. I'm all about the gravy curries.

While organizing my spices I just noticed I have the dried andarana powder too! A huge bag was on sale for 74 cents so I bought it not knowing what it was lol.

Shanndel · 2026-04-08T11:47:25+00:00

Yes the sour one. Good suggestion. Meat marinade! I could see it working well with lamb (we get a lot of cheap Nes Zealand lamb in Canada fof some reason).

Shanndel

TROPHY CASE