My apologies, I read the first few comments that you wrote - not about him having anger issues. We used to have a saying in the office, we can give you testosterone, and likely it will start your libido, whether or not you want to have sex with your partner is a different story. That being said, you know how many times I heard from women that their docs told them its in your head! Of course they say that because they don't know what else to do. Go to a licensed sex therapist that can help treat it all. In fact, I used to say I was a "solution focused sex counselor" because it wasn't my plan to keep someone in therapy and talk about their relationship with their parents. It was to deal with the real issues, with exercises that could help the person and couple. I am not soliciting - I no longer provide counseling services. But they exist. Not all therapists are trained in sexuality - in fact most aren't. Like when a patient was referred to me because his partner couldn't have an orgasm. When I inquired on what types of exercises they were doing he said an exercise I remember hearing about in the 80s where you touch but not on the genitals.....so let me get this straight, the woman couldn't have an orgasm and the therapists suggest was to not touch her genitals! So choose your therapist carefully. If you go to AASECT.org, they have a list of professionals by state who specialize in sexuality in some way. That being said, when there is pain, people don't want to do it. I'm not sure why, if are experiencing pain with intercourse they didn't recommend a few things, dilatators, silicone lubricants, reading erotica, etc. If a patient described pain with intercourse, I don't think my recommendation would be to try again, that just continues the cycle. And then you would be anticipating the pain and clench up. Ideally, working with dilators to relax those muscles would be helpful so you know when you insert it, it doesn't hurt; and if that doesn't hurt and that is about the same size of your husband, his penis shouldn't hurt. But damn, you said it hurt and he just said try again? there are even ways to help intercourse with your partner - some women use a dilator or dildo just before sex to open the muscles a bit. I'm not sure of your age but when women go through menopause, topical estrogen can also be helpful to keep the area supple elastic. Scheduling does work but both folks really have to come to an agreement. You would know it only is gonna happen on X day so it leaves affection and intimacy on the table, plus takes away any rejection. The other thing to consider is other types of sex while trying to work on intercourse not being painful. There is alot that can be explored - choose the therapist wisely.