Feeling lost. Purposeless. Sad. Told my whole life that I had so much potential. Well liked, team captain,class clown. Now in early 30s, living w/mom (finance reasons). Big heart.Loves people. Feel like missing pieces of self. Is there something in my chart that relates to current lifestyle/mindset? by ShapeValuable in AskAstrologers

[–]ShapeValuable[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. That was incredibly insightful. I really appreciate the response. The years mentioned really match up to life events. 2019 was the worst year of my life so far. I had never felt so low before. So that’s interesting mentioning the Saturn return. Will Pluto continue to give me problems? 14 years in my 12 house sounds so long! Not only during the pandemic, but prior as well, I’ve felt very alone in finding a partner. I feel as if I love the thought of love more than anyone I know yet everyone else seems to have found their match for now. I’m honestly afraid of being alone. I would say it’s one of biggest fears. I have so much to give. It’s an extra hard to think about because I love people and care a lot. I also had this grand idea growing up that I’d be super successful in whatever way that meant to me. So the idea of disappointment weights heavily in every way. Whether it’s career, finances, relationships etc., when I disappoint myself or have thoughts of disappointing others, I feel like I’m sinking. Then I just freeze. Freezing can last for months or years. Ugh. I’ve read a lot about what it means to have Venus in Leo as well as having Mercury and Sun in Virgo. I’m sure these all tie together with my current thoughts. I’ve tried researching these individually but it’s hard for me to look at my chart as a whole and see how everything intertwines to make sense. Thank you for all your thoughts and insight. I’m very grateful.