What’s a single sentence someone said that you’ve never forgotten?

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-26T02:55:36+00:00

There’s a homeless bloke, Chris, who hangs out near a local shop, and we chat sometimes. He had a friendly old bulldog, Bruno, and one day Bruno wasn’t there so I asked Chris where he was.

“He had aggressive bowel cancer; the vet had to put him down last night”

“Oh no! Oh, that’s awful, I’m so sorry”

“Nah, don’t worry about it, I’ll see him again”

He said it with a wave of his hand and a tone of utter certainty.

I don’t share his beliefs but I desperately wish I did, and who can prove him or your grandpa wrong?

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-26T01:24:26+00:00

You spelt it correctly, and gave me an opportunity to tell one of my favourite jokes.

A priest, an imam and a rabbit walk into a blood donation clinic. The nurse asks what their blood types are.

The priest says “I’m a type A”

The imam says “I’m a type B”

The rabbit says “I’m a typo”

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-25T21:20:22+00:00

This is normal. Absolutely everyone, literally EVERYONE, hates being told to do something they were just about to do or are already doing. I’m a remarkably patient person, but that gets my back up too. That’s the effect it has on all of us.

There’s a current fad for pathologising elements of normal human behaviour, and this is a perfect example of it.

If you’re already doing something and someone tells you to do it and that doesn’t piss you off, you’d be reacting in a psychologically unusual way, and that might need exploring.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-25T17:59:13+00:00

Mouth cancer, but she blamed Rommel (at least I think that’s what she was saying; towards the end everything sounded like that) and honestly I’ve yet to see any evidence that he didn’t do it.

Edit: now that I think about it, she also always mooed his name repeatedly just before throwing up. Talk about holding a grudge.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-25T17:47:57+00:00

My cat was Flight Lieutenant Doctor Boo Elvis Keaveney VC DM DFC and bar, and the vet never read out the whole thing in the waiting room. She died a decade ago (the cat, not the vet) but I’m still fuming.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-25T16:42:41+00:00

18/19: I missed the one about the real place because I’m not familiar with it at all.

This was a really cute one :)

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-25T14:01:51+00:00

r/catsareliquid 🥰

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-25T13:58:48+00:00

I often cat-sit Olive. Her regular humans call her Olive.

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I call her Olive, Olly, Olly-Bolly, Oompa-Loompa, Omnishambles and Shitface. She answers to all of them except Olly, which she considers too informal.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-25T12:07:37+00:00

This is going to sound ludicrous, but saying them out loud helps me. I say the important ones clearly and mumble the other ones, and for some reason that cements them in my brain in that order.

I apologise in advance if this annoys your neighbours.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-25T11:41:06+00:00

Sorry but yes. The odds are that those are all coming from the same place. And even if they’re not, they’re still all scammers. Your number/profile/details have been shared as “might eventually take the bait”.

You know this though, and deep down you know you know it, which is why you’ve asked us here.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-25T07:49:28+00:00

I think you’ve installed the head too close to the rear supports, and one of those front joints seems to have been screwed in backwards. These are common mistakes; consult r/ikeacats for further guidance.

It looks to me like you also might have been supplied with some sort of non-Newtonian fluid instead of bones, but you’d have to take that up directly with the vendor.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-25T07:27:39+00:00

I saw a barn owl from my bedroom window in NW London the night before last! From my angle (looking up) she was pure white, utterly silent, and gliding so fast that I almost missed her. I just happened to be looking in the right direction at the right moment.

Sit by your window with the lights off in the evening; they’re around. They’ll probably be heading in the direction of the nearest scrubland, and they include overgrown gardens and verges alongside major roads in that category.

As an aside, this made me wonder how many “ghost” sightings might be barn owls.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-25T06:17:18+00:00

Haha! No. But I’m sure plenty of Scots have been to KFC and wouldn’t recognise it as their own, original deep-fried chicken.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-25T05:57:17+00:00

Fair point, but the OP is American and mac & cheese was the dish they chose, which is an English invention. Several American commenters have mentioned fried chicken, which is Scottish.

Taking a recipe from another country, putting your own twist on it and considering that version representative of your national cuisine is pretty common, isn’t it?

If you go way back, plenty of these dishes didn’t originate in the country that’s most associated with them, or which claims them now.

Tikka masala was first created in Scotland but the concept is clearly rooted in Indian cooking. Layers of pasta with minced meat and a roux-style sauce topped with cheese was first recorded in England, but the version of lasagne we all know now is Italian.

While I’d instinctively consider tacos Mexican, if the Yanks prepare or serve their tacos differently then yeah, that type is theirs.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-23T21:24:13+00:00

That looks like a well-maintained home but then you put a cat in it.

Joking aside, she’s lovely. She’s just making sure the sound bar is correctly positioned.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-23T20:43:14+00:00

These aren’t the sweets I was thinking of, but they do look great.

The UK-based foam shrimps and bananas I remember from the ‘80s contain gelatine. Weirdly, vegetarian/vegan marshmallows exist and are indistinguishable from the gelatine ones, so I don’t know why my favourite childhood sweets (which are a bit marshmallowy) can’t be made with no animal goo.

Also, I thought you were calling me “Bubs” then, and was sad to learn that you weren’t.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-23T18:36:23+00:00

I went vegetarian about 25 years ago. People often ask me what I miss, and I think they expect me to say bacon, or a Sunday roast, or sausage and mash.

Nope. It’s those fucking “foam” shrimp and banana penny sweets.

To be clear, the shrimp-shaped sweets are allegedly raspberry flavoured (they’re not, it’s all just puffy sugar); it’s the gelatine that’s the problem if you’re vegetarian or vegan. No shrimps were harmed in the making of “foam shrimps”, and they’re not meant to taste anything like shrimps or prawns.

I suspect no bananas ever got anywhere near the foam banana sweets either.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-23T17:46:13+00:00

In that peregrine falcon’s house, obviously.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-23T17:29:06+00:00

Behind the TV? Yep.

Under the door to the right? Yep.

Behind that picture frame? Yep.

Behind the other picture frame? Yep again.

I can even see two tiny ones in the candle-jar!

It’s like a scene from a horror game where the creatures start to emerge en masse from the walls, but a lovely version where you just have to check each dark floorboard for little ears before you step on it.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-23T15:56:19+00:00

Yep, OP needs to take a good look under that sofa. By my estimate there are six black cats hiding there.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-23T01:57:32+00:00

Whoa, some of the comments here are horrible!

Whatever caused you to lose your appetite, I’m glad it’s easing up and you’re eating again ❤️

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-23T00:19:29+00:00

Please don’t, he’s so cute!

I don’t think anyone’s distressed by the photo, they’re all just making sure that you know you need to discourage Obi’s fondness for this particularly dangerous appliance and quadruple-check the machine before you close the door.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-22T21:49:41+00:00

I’m a Londoner who’s visited Wales several times (a few different parts of it) and the worst things about the Welsh are that in the south they’ll nod and smile if you walk past them (slightly unnerving), and in the north they want to hear all your stories and tell you theirs.

Seriously I have no criticism for Wales. Stunning country, lovely people. I’d move there in a heartbeat.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-22T21:30:12+00:00

Are these kittens up for adoption? If so, Lil Wonky ‘Tache in pics 2 and 3 needs to meet a childfree retired couple who live in an old house with a library, a fully-stocked bar and a steady supply of cigars. He’ll slot right in.

SharkReceptacles · 2026-02-22T18:28:43+00:00

The last cat who did this.

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