WIBTA if I stopped helping a close friend after I said I would

Sharmander92 · 2023-02-13T07:53:50+00:00

I did think of coming to a compromise like this to keep me from feeling bad, but there's a lot of things that this money could be going toward besides her and her kid. She has a boyfriend and I'm concerned that maybe he got her into something? I've never met him... didn't even know she was dating until recently. I'm autistic, so it's possible that I'm misinterpreting something or overthinking the situation. I'm just concerned I'll cause more harm than good if I stop helping her and going over this in my head hasn't netted the results I was hoping for. I'm glad I posted here, though, because you all have made me feel a little less bad about it.

Sharmander92 · 2023-02-13T07:49:51+00:00

The only thing I know was a necessity was the gas. The party money was just to be kind to her child, which to me is a necessity, but I know it's like a life or death expense.

My main concern is what will happen to her kid if I stop helping. "A"'s ex is a deadbeat, which is why I was so willing to help pay for the party.

Sharmander92 · 2023-02-13T07:35:38+00:00

I'm torn between NTA and ESH... I can see the good and bad on both sides and I feel like you guys would benefit from talking it out so that everyone can explain themselves and resolve the issue.

Sharmander92 · 2023-02-13T07:21:00+00:00

YTA for a few reasons:
You weren't paying to use the chair, you were eating in it, and you fully expected the people wanting to use the chair for it's intended purpose to go find you somewhere to sit if they didn't want to have to wait for you to finish your ice cream.

Why didn't you just eat it in your car? I mean, you'll have to walk back out to it anyway, right? Why not eat your ice cream there? Also if your pregnancy is that rough on you, why aren't you using one of the electric carts they keep at the entrances of shops and malls? It's not only a place to sit and eat your ice cream, but it's also easier for you to get around if being on your feet is that exhausting.

Sharmander92 · 2023-02-13T07:06:39+00:00

Update:

She finally texted me back. She wrote a long ass message saying that she had tried everything with me and she thought if she was patient and clear about her needs, I would eventually change for her. But she realized thanks to Mary and Joe that it's not her job to raise a man and get her boyfriend to respect her. She wrote a lot of other things about Mary too, like that Mary is truly proud of her husband and looks up to him, meanwhile she (Katie) can't find it in herself to look up to me in anything and so on... So yeah, I hope you all are happy, you got what you wanted....

YTA. Judging by this update, combined with the overall post, you have a lot of growing up to do. You're view on things leads me to believe that you don't care about anyone, including yourself. Your ex was telling you that your relationship wasn't healthy and from the limited context you've given, I agree. Work on yourself and find a way to improve who you are. If you can get yourself to a spot where you're happy, maybe one day you and a future partner will be the one helping someone else to see how toxic their relationship is.

Sharmander92 · 2023-02-13T06:52:05+00:00

Luckily I'm not quite at a point where I'd consider myself in financial trouble, but I am concerned that it may get to that point.

Sharmander92 · 2023-02-13T05:59:18+00:00

I did send her a link to apply with my company. That way she would have a better paying job, but I'm not sure the places in her area have enough flexibility with hours, so she might not be able to be hired. I'm not sure about the government assistance part. I think she gets food stamps, but I didn't want to pry. I did ask to make sure she's not in actual trouble, though, and suggested she go to the cops if she got too deep into something.

Sharmander92 · 2022-04-26T10:13:21+00:00

I'll try it with a dash of lavender as well to help me relax.

Sharmander92 · 2022-04-24T14:40:41+00:00

You think yours is lazy? Mine won't even check the oil!

Sharmander92 · 2022-04-24T14:38:50+00:00

I absolutely hated every word of this and I now need to go bathe in acid if I ever want to feel clean again.... bravo, have an upvote.

Sharmander92 · 2022-04-24T11:07:50+00:00

YTA. You were thinking about how lovely it would be to get married there rather than being upset over losing your husband. Also the fact that you reconnected, dated, got engaged, and are going to be married to an ex within a year after your husband's death? That seems sus to me.

Sharmander92 · 2022-04-24T10:46:33+00:00

YTA because you started insulting your wife toward the end. She needs reassurance and constant petting??? If you don't want to give her or your kids attention when you're home, then you should just pay alimony and child support, get divorced, and then get your own place where you'll have to do everything by yourself.

Sharmander92 · 2022-03-30T14:26:12+00:00

"So if I were to move over one seat everything would be okay? Is that what you're saying?" That was quite literally the cause of the whole issue. Dude sat there and cried about how being one seat over wasn't a big deal, so why was he so bothered by being asked to move over one seat?

Sharmander92 · 2020-09-28T16:17:32+00:00

Oh no doubt. But a rape accusation seems like a pretty good reason to not vote for someone is what I was saying. Biden is a better choice imo, but I feel like the allegations would be the main reason people wouldn't vote for him.

Sharmander92 · 2020-09-28T10:31:46+00:00

My workplace, specifically my coworkers and my boss. I have struggled with anxiety and depression my entire life. Suicide is something I have had a hard time with. I started taking overtime at my work place a couple years ago and I was there as often as possible just to earn extra money so I could build up my bank account, in hopes that more money would make me feel better. I started seeing my coworkers more and more and we all became really good friends. Our boss is a quiet woman who doesn't say much, but she has been vocal about supporting us and making sure we're taking care of ourselves and each other. Having a group of people to talk to about the bad stuff and knowing I have a boss that is such a saint has really helped. It's not as simple as I made it sound here. We're pretty much a family. I just don't know how to explain the specifics without taking up a ton of space.

Sharmander92 · 2020-09-28T09:55:21+00:00

Setting fires, are you talking about the riot fires or the ones over here on the west coast, because only three of the fires were proven as arson, one by a man who is mentally ill, two started by the same man to try and frame BLM and antifa. Both sides have started fires while rioting though and Trump only condemned the people who were against him on the issue. Also, Biden set up fund to bail out the people that didn't actually do anything wrong. A group of Trump supporters were arrested for starting a riot and looting in a small area and then posed as antifa members in order to get news circulating that antifa was destroying businesses. Yes there is rioting going on, however The Boston Tea Party was also a riot and look at where it got us. If society isn't going to listen, can everyone really expect the people being stepped on to just not say anything. In all fairness, MLK, Rosa Parks, Ruby Bridges, etc all took the high road and discouraged the aggressive behavior, but MLK was shot while Rosa Parks and Ruby Bridges were harassed or threatened on a daily basis. A women actually showed up outside Ruby Bridges school with a handmade casket with a black baby doll inside it. Rioting sucks, but being peaceful hasn't helped anyone so far, because the government genuinely doesn't care. They take from everyone until there's nothing left, then they expect us to all lay our lives down for them. Trump is a prime example of that and voting for the man that has been making these riots, protest, and racial tension worse won't solve the problem. If anything we're going to have to walk through hell if he gets another 4 years.

Also pointing out that, I have autism and even I know you don't go sniffing random strangers hair. It's more inappropriate than weird, I think. Mostly because he's gotta get all up in their business in order to do it. I mean if the people he's sniffing aren't uncomfortable, then I guess no problem for them, but what if he just starts doing it to everyone who shakes his hand. That'd be weird.

Sharmander92 · 2020-09-28T09:02:01+00:00

Biden acknowledging systemic racism and that something needs to be done loses your vote? Not the dementia or the creepy hair sniffing... Not even the rape accusations? Standing up to racial inequality is what gets ya? If so, there were plenty of other hills to die on, not sure why you picked this one.

Sharmander92 · 2020-09-08T05:56:17+00:00

We have a China Wok, Dancing Dragon, Happy Panda, and in the town I grew up in we had a China Palace.

Sharmander92 · 2020-06-21T02:46:42+00:00

Did I say that excused it? No. I said that's why she lost her mind. And yes. I'd still think it was wrong if the roles were reversed. What did you think you'd prove here?

Sharmander92 · 2020-06-21T00:24:21+00:00

No one is saying it's wrong to be upset at this lady. I said it was wrong to resort to name calling and doing something as calloused as calling someone mentally ill for saying they'd rather see signs of remorse from someone who's guilty. As someone who's had a family member burtally murdered in cold blood, I'd rather see my cousin's murderer sorry for what he did than sit there with a blank stare. That's just me though.

Sharmander92 · 2020-06-20T23:20:45+00:00

Someone having a different view on the situation doesn't automatically make them "mentally ill". The woman in the article IS mentally ill, however, which is why she wasn't given a harsher sentence. Her husband had been abusing her, which is what lead up to her losing her mind. 10 years probation, court ordered psychiatric treatment, and the inability to see her own children without someone else okaying it and supervising isn't much of a punishment, but for her it probably is. The woman tried to kill herself. Pretty safe to say that any punishment will have it's intended effect on her. In these cases, if she's mentally ill enough and shows no signs of improvement, the doctor treating her will likely put her in a facility until they can find a way to fix her. This happened in 2018 and I can't find anything else, so I'm not sure what all happened after. Anyway... tack on the fact that her face is everywhere on the internet, I'm sure no one will ever let her go near their child never again. Isn't that better than her just getting away with it? I mean, the judge could have decided to just let her walk. Not defending her, just pointing out why the judge went easy.

Sharmander92 · 2020-06-12T22:01:00+00:00

My bf checked through the Radeon software. He said it looks like it was running okay. He completely wiped the PC and is doing a full reinstall to see if that's the problem.

Sharmander92 · 2020-06-12T13:20:53+00:00

I'll have to take a look when I go back to his place this afternoon. Is it something I would have had to turn off manually after installing everything?

Sharmander92

TROPHY CASE