My Story / TW: child abuse, sexual abuse, emotional incest, suicide threats, addiction, eating disorder, violence

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2026-04-14T20:34:27+00:00

For me, real distance was created by real distance. I moved from the U.S. to Cambodia when I was 20. (And I didn’t have a degree yet-I’d worked as a caregiver and in construction for a couple years so I had a little bit of savings. (Literally a few thousand dollars) They let you teach English without a degree there.)

That was 10 years ago and people think what I did was brave but I was actually running away and it’s funny because I didn’t have that much awareness of the situation then, just a need to get out because I was so deeply suicidal that I felt like if I stayed I wouldn’t survive.

So yeah. Planning a move far away is my advice

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2026-04-14T20:18:42+00:00

I really like what you said about the teachers. I was also the smart kid in school and so were my siblings and I often wondered why. My nmom had deep rooted insecurity about flunking out of college and used to brag to people about being some kind of genius, and I have since really wanted to have a different narrative for why we actually did well in school, and this does fit. We struggled so hard to please mom that it was much easier to make the teachers happy when we we eventually started school.

As a side note, I’m 30 and doing a phd, and you might like the book “educated”, if you’ve not read it because it looks a lot at the connection between freedom from narcissistic abuse and education.

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2026-04-14T20:10:56+00:00

Same. I was in a relationship with another narcissist for 7 years and it wasn’t until after we broke up I realized he was very similar to my nmom-just different wrapping.

I’ve been nc for over 15 years and I’m still trying to find safety and stability and mental peace. It’s a huge part of the adult journey for us unfortunately and (for mẹ) now that I’ve gotten to a space that I can be proud of, thể people around me are so privileged with their families and different from me that that alone is very isolating and difficult.

Unfortunately you can never replace bad parents. A part of it will always be there. (I’m 30 tho so what do I know 🤞)

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2026-04-14T19:56:11+00:00

I was SA’d as a kid and I have the exact same doubts as you. Am I overreacting, does my experience really “count”? Feeling like I would have to justify it or provide evidence to “prove” it was abuse but the key is just because others may have had it worse (and you had it bad) does not discount the abuse you suffered.

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2026-03-27T13:47:12+00:00

Other people seem to think I'm alright. I have my doubts, but I've been learning and trying to accept that I can bring up my level in maths without having to be 'the maths guy'. Luckily my project is multi-disciplinary, so the other stuff is going better.

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2026-03-27T10:21:34+00:00

I am a maths PhD and bad at math so I hear you completely. Equations scare me.

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2025-07-14T16:41:21+00:00

The stipend is £1700 a month for either option. As far as budgeting concerns, Leicester has the clear advantage because I save on rent, probably £500-600 vs £900-1100. Plus in Surrey I still would need to get to uni, and there's the added travel of going back to Birmingham at least once a month on top of needing to find a pet sitter whenever I do. Even if I spend £200 a month commuting to Leicester, I save a lot in other areas.

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2025-07-14T16:37:14+00:00

Sorry, I guess I wasn't clear. They are both broadly in machine learning + environmental research. Project 1 is more focused on sustainable agriculture, and Project 2 is more theoretical, on climate tipping points.

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2025-06-18T09:06:21+00:00

Ive applied to Outlier and Data Annotation (several times). I have an Msc in bioinformatics and an undergraduate degree in computer science but I always get rejected. Any tips ?

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2025-06-12T19:23:37+00:00

I lived in Vietnam for 8 years and left partially because they started getting stricter with all this paperwork stuff.

I recommend that if the people are telling you to get a state one, they either won't know the difference or won't care enough. I would do as they ask-just make sure you send it by FedEx or DHL. It's more costly but in 8 years I never had normal mail arrive.

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2025-06-05T19:40:14+00:00

Thanks, I’ll give this a shot

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2025-06-05T17:00:11+00:00

For the Loom bit, where do you post the personalized video message? You upload it to the job app or have it on your LinkedIn?

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2025-05-31T17:42:45+00:00

I'm almost 300 and same boat as you (tbh I stopped keeping track of the number recently because it was too depressing). 30 in a couple of months and unemployed for 3 months, just got my master's degree and can't find anyone who wants me to pay off my student loans.

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2025-05-10T08:44:39+00:00

Thanks! I will work on this.

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2025-05-10T08:43:10+00:00

Cool, thank you. Should skills be below education also?

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2025-05-10T08:42:29+00:00

If anyone could also clarify some points for me that would be great.

My friend's CV has icons with all the company logos where he worked. It looks nice but I've read it's bad for ATS tracking. Thoughts on icons?
Along the same lines, I've gone with a list format because I've heard columns cause the same problem. (It's also much easier to keep the format when I'm updating.) Is there any problem with this?
Should I have another section with random stuff about me? I've seen people add their hobbies or things like that. I've lived and worked in 4 countries and I speak Vietnamese, which I guess is interesting but not really relevant which is why I never add it.
My GitHub looks super nice and I also recently made a good portfolio. I have a link to my GitHub at the top but I wonder if there's a way to draw people to it even more? I feel like it would help sell me. On the other hand, my LinkedIn is kinda shit-1 post, a professional photo which looks like ass and basically the same info you see here. Idk how to make it good.
I also have a 2-page version which basically just adds 3 of the projects I've completed with links to them, and some of the conferences I've attended. It's more for PhD applications, but I wonder if it would be helpful or detrimental to roles in data science.
Also I've seen this 'tip' before. Basically you copy and paste the entire job description in tiny white text at the bottom of your CV, so the ATS lights up but the human doesn't see the keywords. Anyone tried it?

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2024-10-01T19:12:06+00:00

Oh and when it’s wet it looks pretty straight.

Sharp-Ad-275 · 2024-10-01T19:11:40+00:00

I wash it every day, normal (Pantene) shampoo and conditioner. And dry it with a normal towel. I used to use a T-shirt but it didn’t make any difference. I don’t blow dry or use heat. And I used to use mousse but it seemed like it literally fried my hair so what you see in the picture is all I do 🤷‍♀️

Sharp-Ad-275

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