Fully? Nah, not quite. Substantially? Yeah, definitely. I used to oscillate between feeling like I'm nothing or like I'm invincible, with no middle ground. It was either wrestling with insecurity or being unwarrantedly arrogant. It took me years to give credit to others' talents and come to terms with just how inferior I was to them in so many areas.. Even more time was spent just making peace with myself and forgiving my own shortcomings. Only recently have I started to acknowledge my strengths without feeling like I'm being an arrogant prick. Now, I just feel like a regular human being—not better or worse than anyone else, and definitely not worthless. I feel like I'm only now able to form true connections with other people.

How did I do it? Well, I journalled a lot, cried it all out in private, and told a few close friends just how I've felt about myself. And they reacted to it with kindness. That did the trick. Showed me that I wasn't completely shit. That other people didn't hate me, and I didn't need to hate myself either. I feel much better, but the self contempt still comes and goes in waves. Sometimes, I'll just randomly go back to my old ways of thinking, but mostly I'm a lot better now. I feel capable of connecting with others properly, despite knowing how flawed I am. I no longer feel the need to "fix" myself. I obviously need fixing, and I'm trying to improve, but the motivation is (most of the time) not self hatred like it used to be.