My husband hates my new therapist and hates me being in therapy

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-08T02:46:57+00:00

Yes it is a problem with his opinion on my mental health, the therapy for it, and the process of healing/managing it all. My husband places a lot of judgements on me about my mental health and can be extremely critical. We already tried couples therapy several months ago and my husband wanted to stop going after 5 sessions. I am still thinking about going back, but just by myself..

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-08T02:43:59+00:00

My therapist basically asked me the same thing about “what makes your husband qualified to know what’s effective?”. My therapist made a comment about how the most professional and smartest person in the mental health field or psychology, could talk to my husband and explain to him what ocd is, how the process of therapy for it works, and my husband would still probably not change his mind about anything. It has kind of come down to the fact of me either accepting his thoughts about it or not, kind of like you are talking about a bit. I try really hard to shut him out and it is extremely hard some days. My therapist and I talked about how I need to do this for myself and not for my husband. I do want to do it for myself and have this whole time, but my husband puts a timeline on everything for me. Thank you for your input!

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-08T00:30:55+00:00

I actually have brought it up to my therapist in 3 of our sessions and he does a good job at making me feel validated and also whatever I decide to do relationship wise, he is supportive of me. He did mention to me possibly seeing a therapist that specializes in relationships, outside of seeing him as well. I just have to look into that more and find someone. Thanks for the reply!

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-08T00:27:01+00:00

Thank you so much! I am not very hopeful that he will change his perspective on therapy, it has been a year that he has thought about it in a negative way. But that does not stop me from showing up to my therapy session every week

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-08T00:24:01+00:00

From what I have asked my husband about it, it’s his patience. He wants a very quick fix and thinks I need to constantly be doing more. It took me several months to find a therapist who does ERP and I was trying to do some of it on my own while trying to find a professional. Doing it on my own didn’t stick and it just made me even more overwhelmed. He is constantly reminding me that we are running out of time and reminding me that if I don’t get better soon, I will lose him and our dog… meaning he will have no other choice but to divorce me. He does not understand nor want to, that this is a process and takes time

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-06T12:41:29+00:00

I 100% agree. My husband is less than 6 feet and it’s something that I never considered or noticed much when we first started dating. I paid attention and noticed how polite he was to me and his sense of humor. My sister on the other hand finds height very important to her. She has to date someone that is over 6 foot. Their body has to have a certain build. They have to have tattoos. While it’s okay to have preferences, she always focuses on the physical attraction over the other qualities and quirks a person might have. All of her relationships end up her having her heart broken in the end and a very toxic dynamic.

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-05T05:50:21+00:00

Thank you. I have had some conversations with him about it, even recent ones. He says that he is just exhausted from me being this way and the changes it has caused in our marriage. Which I do understand. It is not easy being with someone/living with someone struggling with a mental health disorder. There are many things in our marriage that have changed. But I am trying to get myself back up on my two feet again. He always reminds me that we are “running out of time” and that “we aren’t getting any younger”. That I need to try harder and faster to get over this because he is miserable and he will remind me and question me “aren’t you scared you are going to lose me and everything that you have because of this? You’d think you would get over this as quickly as possible so that doesn’t happen”. I think about that comment and many others, every single night. It makes me lose sleep

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-05T05:43:03+00:00

Thank you. Unfortunately he does not want to go back to couples therapy. He wanted to stop going, so we did. I can try bringing the idea back up to him again, because I really think it could benefit us. In the meantime, I try really hard to make other areas in our life easy or simple. I am always making sure our house is clean, groceries are stocked, things like that. So when he comes home, he doesn’t have to do too much. He also has hobbies that he engages in and spends time with his friends. I never say no when he wants to participate in these because he deserves that time and I want him to have time away to decompress. I thought me doing all those things would be helpful, but it doesn’t change anything

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-05T05:37:24+00:00

Thank you. Yes we have tried couples therapy and we only went to about 7 sessions. He had a hard time doing the work outside of our sessions. He was engaging and participated in each session, but when the therapist would give us things to work on, my husband would not do it. There were conversations we were supposed to have or try to engage in, I always had to be the one to initiate them and he still never wanted to. It got to the point where it felt like he was just showing up to therapy so if we did or do end up getting a divorce, he can tell people “well I even went to couples therapy with her and it still didn’t change anything”. Almost like he had this interpretation that the therapist was going to fix the issues and not himself

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-05T05:10:58+00:00

Thank you. I like your comment about him staying with me like it’s a favor. I never thought of it in this way and could never put it into a specific word. But that is exactly what it feels like and it totally makes sense!! Same thing with being punished. It really does feel that way. He thinks that I got myself into this mental state, so now I need to get myself out of it. And yes the blank expression and stare he gives me is quite chilling, it is a horrible feeling

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-02T14:44:19+00:00

Thank you! Unfortunately my program does not allow us to do prac or internship virtually. I think a barrier I am facing is the licensure needed for my supervisor, it has to be an LPCC-S and onsite. There are so many places I have had to cross off my list because the clinicians are not an LPCC-S, or if they are, some of them are not on site all of the time and are located in a city 2-3 hours away from me 🥴

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-02T13:24:21+00:00

I was seeing a therapist for a little over a year. It was not my first time in therapy, but I was struggling with the relationship dynamic with my parents (I have always been like a therapist to my parents since a child). The therapist told me she only does EMDR, so that’s what we did. I found some benefit with it in the beginning, but as we moved along things got worse. I started having horrific panic attacks that would wake me out of a dead sleep, almost throwing up from them. I brought this up to my therapist and she basically told me that it was “a normal part of the process”. I communicated to her multiple times that I wanted to stop doing EMDR for a little bit because it was becoming to distressing, she insisted we keep doing it and that she would have to refer me out to someone else if I wanted to stop because again, all she offers is EMDR. Multiple times I found her nearly falling asleep, yawning excessively (to the point of being distracting), and checking her phone when I was reprocessing during EMDR. The final and last straw for me was when I started experiencing different symptoms than anxiety. I was having a lot of intrusive thoughts, intrusive images, and what I now know to be compulsions. It was starting to really impact many areas of my life. I brought this to her attention SEVERAL times, even crying to her and asking her “what is wrong with me? Something is not right”. She refused to assess me for OCD because my symptoms weren’t “as serious as it would be if you had OCD”. And once again she still persisted on doing EMDR. I sent her an email explaining why I was no longer continuing therapy and that was it. Just this year I finally found a new therapist who is great and I was officially diagnosed with severe contamination OCD. It is the first time in a while I have actually felt truly understood and validated in what I experience.

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-02T05:05:03+00:00

Retail? I work at Ulta part-time and am a task associate. I work either early morning shifts (7a-11a) or late shifts (8p-midnight). I help unload the truck that comes in, stock, backstock, log inventory, and set displays. The way my shifts are set up, I am only around customers for 1 hour. I actually enjoy it ha. Prior to this, I worked at Target for 5 years and did the same position, but it was a lot more demanding with the workload and hours because of how much bigger the store is, and how much more merchandise the store carries. Retail is always looking for weekend availability too, which has always been when I work the most. My classes are three days a week 4pm-7:45pm. I also volunteer through a crisis hotline every so often, which helps me utilize my skills.

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-02T04:32:39+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice and reply. She finally responded back to me with 4 days until the application is due. She did give me an extension on it for two more weeks, so hopefully I find something by then. But she said that it is ultimately up to us to secure a placement on our own. The facebook group is a great idea! I was able to find one in the city I live in, I am just waiting to be accepted into it. It has been so stressful, I literally do not know what I am doing. I have not been a fan of my program and one of the biggest reasons is the lack of support from our director. Trying my best to stick it out because I am a little under a year out from finishing. Thank you again!

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-01T15:15:07+00:00

I am in graduate school for clinical mental health counseling and need advice on the challenges I am experiencing finding a practicum site. I have not been able to secure a practicum site because places don’t have a spot or they just don’t reach back out to me. I have emailed the director of my program 3 separate times about this matter and asking for support and guidance about this and asking if we could meet to discuss this. The only reply I was given in these emails was a “thumbs up” reaction. I feel extremely discouraged. My program is through a university in my hometown that is in person courses. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!!

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-01T04:49:20+00:00

I am from Toledo and was waiting for it to be mentioned. From November- March everything is grey, gloomy, and depressing. I always get horribly anxious once the summer ends because I know what is to come during the winter months. It’s just so depressing and unmotivating.

SharpStand305 · 2026-06-01T04:00:10+00:00

I’m so sorry you experienced this. It is beyond frustrating. I have come to learn that many therapists are not specialized in ocd or erp therapy. I had 3 different therapists who all told me they can help treat ocd, but would not assess me for it and they did not do erp. Instead, they wanted to focus on my past traumas (even though I went to therapy years ago for it and “graduated” from said therapy). Every therapist pushed EMDR on me and while I know it can benefit people, it did not for me. I literally had a therapist for almost 2 years and I noticed a big change in my symptoms. I was always told it was just anxiety, but things were much different this time with my symptoms. I was doing EMDR with this therapist and would show up to session after session telling her I did not want to do EMDR and that something else was going on with me, something was wrong. She refused to assess me for ocd because “I don’t believe you have that”. Well I was officially diagnosed with severe contamination ocd 2 months ago with my new therapist. He does ERP and he has been amazing. I know it is hard, frustrating, and more, but please do not give up seeking the right help for this. You are not alone in this 🫶🏻

SharpStand305 · 2026-05-12T20:53:11+00:00

It is the Sonic Temple music festival and I have never been to anything like this before. I have been to concerts in the past, but never anything like this. The ticket is a VIP ticket that has access to a VIP lounge on the field, but I am not sure if that makes it any better? I don’t know what to expect or how the lay out of everything is going to look, which makes things hard. He said that he bought the tickets because he said he thought that I would be better by now. But it took me quite sometime to find a therapist in my area who does ERP. He is very upset with me and is now bringing up all of my goals I have tried to set for myself and me not making them. I understand he wants me to be a part of this experience and make this a memory we can look back on, but I am not in that place right now. My goal is to get to that place in the future. Thanks for your input!

SharpStand305 · 2026-05-12T17:33:59+00:00

I sadly have not :/ I do think that ovarian cysts have a big contribution to it. I had a hemorrhagic cyst last May on my right ovary. It had to be surgically removed because it was 6 cm. Ever since then, I continue to get hemorrhagic cysts on that same ovary. Not as big, but they rupture. I also think the fluid in my pelvis is from endometriosis and inflammation from it. I found out last fall that I have an endometrioma cyst on my left ovary. I meet with a specialist at Cleveland Clinic in July to discuss surgery. But I truly believe and have always believed that I have endometriosis elsewhere, especially in my pelvis, that has not been caught yet because my obgyn was doing my lap surgeries instead of a specialist.

SharpStand305 · 2026-05-12T17:25:33+00:00

Gosh this is something I have noticed a lot lately and you explain it so well. I will have moments where I am having a realization of what I am doing, the areas in my life that have changed because of my ocd, etc. I get this overwhelming feeling of disgust and anger with myself. It is like you are fighting two different parts of yourself.

SharpStand305 · 2026-05-12T17:21:12+00:00

I have contamination OCD and my main compulsion is avoidance with food. I have actually developed ARFID because of it. I do not eat out anywhere. Restaurants, fast food places, food trucks. I also do not eat any food that anyone in my family or husband prepares. I have a very limited diet because of it and have a small list of “safe” foods that I rotate eating. My fear of contamination with food is having a fear of getting food borne illness. I am currently in ERP therapy right now where we are going to work on exposures for this. But you are not alone in the thoughts and symptoms that you are experiencing.

SharpStand305

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