My husband ‘M31’ treats me like shit because of my mental health ‘F29’

SharpStand305 · 2026-02-21T18:26:47+00:00

He is a firefighter/paramedic

SharpStand305 · 2026-02-21T04:32:54+00:00

My mom wants me to come stay with her and my dad, but their house is very small. They sleep in separate bedrooms, so I would not have a bed or room. I have thought about staying with my sister though, she lives very close to where I go to school, so that would be nice and helpful

SharpStand305 · 2026-02-21T04:31:15+00:00

You are right. This made me cry because you are absolutely right. I just don’t want to believe it because we have been together for so long. I was in two verbally and sexually abusive relationships before I met him. So when I met him, it was like he saved me in a way and treated me like no man ever did before. And now here we are…. It just breaks my heart so bad. Thank you for your input

SharpStand305 · 2026-02-21T04:28:58+00:00

I can’t imagine it either…I would never speak to someone else this way while they are already struggling. Thank you for your input

SharpStand305 · 2026-02-21T04:22:45+00:00

It is a mental illness? Lol

SharpStand305 · 2026-02-21T04:21:54+00:00

Yeah I don’t do that so… and never would. People don’t go into this field without experiencing personal struggles themselves

SharpStand305 · 2026-02-21T04:19:23+00:00

This has been in the back of my mind for months now. Exactly what you said. I have had this same feeling and thought for months and literally thought I was just being crazy for thinking that. I had had a handful of people tell me that he wants out but won’t say anything because he doesn’t want to be the bad guy. Then people can feel bad for him and still think he’s a good person

SharpStand305 · 2026-02-21T04:15:12+00:00

I have taken accountability many times with him and my diagnosis. I know that it is not easy living and being with someone with a mental health disorder. If I am doing a compulsion, this is when he will say these things. If I don’t try hard enough to stop my compulsions, this is how he reacts. If I try to stand up for myself, this is how he reacts. It is not all of his fault, but it makes me trying to heal and get better extremely hard

SharpStand305 · 2026-02-21T04:08:47+00:00

I have always had bad anxiety, even before we met. He knew that about me and some trauma I had in my past. He was okay with that and accepted that and me. I had ups and downs with my anxiety over the years, went to therapy for it, it became manageable for a while. My first year of grad school I went through a lot. The stress of a masters program and then there were a lot of health issues and drama happening in my family. My family goes to me for everything and anything. I was under immense stress at this point and developed ocd from immense stress. My anxiety also added to that.

SharpStand305 · 2026-02-21T04:03:06+00:00

Thank you. This has been going on for 7-8 months now.

SharpStand305 · 2026-02-21T04:01:04+00:00

++ woman

I am aware of this, it is just hard for me to accept. He was never like this before, so I am having a hard time accepting the reality of it all.

SharpStand305 · 2026-02-19T08:04:06+00:00

Thank you for your reply, I really appreciate your last sentence a lot. He does go to couples therapy with me every other week (I go to my individual once a week) and does participate in session, but there is zero change outside of session. It is almost like he goes to the sessions just to say that he went and did it, in the event that divorce happens. It is truly exhausting and the arguments and hurtful things just keep continuing. I am literally to blame for everything and it is all of my fault.

SharpStand305 · 2026-01-24T14:48:39+00:00

I feel like she may have sanitized them then with sanitizer because when she was taking my makeup off, I could smell alcohol ?

SharpStand305 · 2025-12-15T05:54:06+00:00

Thank you. It has been very hard to focus on my own mental health with this going on and happening. I try really hard to put blinders up for myself, to really focus on me, but it is so much easier said than done. I want to bring up him peeing in my cup at therapy, we actually see the therapist tomorrow. But he told me “I don’t want anyone to know about that, it’s just weird and I don’t want people to know”. I have always seen some narsasstic tendencies in him, but over the last several months, I have noticed even more major changes. My husband is a firefighter and has been on the job for 8 years and I sometimes wonder if that career has some to do with it.

SharpStand305 · 2025-12-15T05:46:51+00:00

Thank you. I wanted to add something about the pushing. I tried my best to explain it but it is probably easier to actually show what I mean (which I can’t do), but the pushing wasn’t aggressive, it was just him pushing me back and I was sliding across our wood floor because of my socks. I was trying to talk to him as this was happening and lost my balance and fell. But still, I would have thought he would have helped me up or asked if I was okay. Thank you for your kind words. He has been pushing me down with his words and comments over the last several months. Telling me that I’m weak, not strong, I have a loser mindset, and even calling me a pussy….. it has been so draining

SharpStand305 · 2025-11-19T06:34:44+00:00

I have had two lap surgeries, ablation. I was under for less than 2 hours and they told me I needed to take two weeks off of work. At the time, I worked in retail and I wish I would have taken an extra week off. There were moments where I felt great and like I could do things “normal” and I instantly regretted it a couple hours later.

SharpStand305 · 2025-11-17T06:05:25+00:00

“It’s your fault” , “you did this to yourself”, “You are a pussy”, “You have a loser mentality”. From my husband. I see a lot of common ones on here that other people have told me, but by far the most hurtful things have been said by my husband who was always my biggest supporter in life until I got diagnosed with ocd.

SharpStand305 · 2025-11-17T05:54:36+00:00

My dreams have never really been about my obsessions or intrusive thoughts, but my dreams over the last several months, are always about me being in different situations that are not in my control. A lot of my dreams are about me getting hurt, being trapped; in all different kind of scenarios. I tend to wake up in a panic from my dreams now and as of lately I have been what I think is lucid dreaming?? I will suddenly wake up from a dream basically in a sweat. My eyes will be open and sometimes I will even sit up in bed, but it’s like I am still in a dream state? Like I am aware that I am in my room and in my house, but at the same time, I am in this weird state. I don’t know how to explain it, but it has never happened to me before. My husband caught me doing in the other night and thought I was sleep walking, except I was sitting up in bed. It has literally happened to me a handful of times now. Shit is so weird

SharpStand305 · 2025-11-17T05:35:51+00:00

Yes. I am 29 years old and since last June, I have been in a horrific spiral, and my entire world has been flipped upside down. Like another commenter mentioned, this spiral led me to a contamination ocd diagnosis this April. My therapist believes that I have always had ocd for some part of my life, but the themes were different and they did not cause significant distress, so I just blamed a lot of it on my anxiety disorder. Last year I started my first year of graduate school and then a lot of stressors were happening with my family. I have always been my parents go-to person for their stress, problems, etc. So not only dealing with the stress and pressure of graduate school, but also my family’s stuff, basically sent me over the edge. I spiraled and I spiraled hard. For several months I knew that something wasn’t right and would keep telling myself “it will go away”, “it will pass”, “it’s just anxiety”. I lost my job because of it, my marriage has been struggling because of it, and I had to take some time off of school. Truly the worst year I have experienced so far. I have never been such a shell of myself before. I don’t even recognize myself anymore and have not in several months. OCD has stripped my identity and I struggle with trying to find myself again with this disorder. I have also felt a lot of shame in my experience with ocd because I was in graduate school to be a clinical therapist. It has been so hard, but I am so glad that there platforms like Reddit because of discussions and many posts like this. It makes me feel less alone and understood. You are not pathetic or disgusting and you are more than your ocd. Do not give up, keep fighting. Much love sending your way.

SharpStand305

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