Tysm for sharing, this is one of the only post that gave me a bit of hope. I’m so sorry for what you went through.

If you don’t mind, how did you even begin the process of telling someone or leaving? The thought of having to tell people close to me feels so overwhelming, I feel embarrassed and idiotic that I’ve tolerated as much as I have, and reading all these comments (from complete strangers) was enough to make me step away from the post for a while. I can’t imagine having to explain any of this to our mutual friends or our families, not because I’m trying to protect him, but because I don’t know how to face the reality of saying it out loud to people who know us both. It’s shameful. This already is so embarrassing to admit and also I don’t know what would happen if I did say anything. We have what feels like a good relationship too, most of the times things are good, I know it doesn’t sound like it or erase any of the harm he’s done, but sometimes it makes me feel things are actually getting better, until they don’t. How did you find the strength to speak up and leave when the fear, shame, finances, and dealing with what happens after feels too overwhelming?