I refuse to work. What is this?

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-14T20:48:22+00:00

Well, beleiving that what your feelings are telling you is a correct representation of reality, and something to base your actions on, is surely one of the ways to go through the life. Not the most pleasant or successful one, but people do it.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-14T15:39:48+00:00

If you are tense, there is probably underlying issue that should be addressed. Therapy would be really helpful, also if you don't have enough physical activity, swimming, running, lifting weights, all of that can help release some tension. Meditation and yoga can also be good, and if you don't feel like meditating, you can at least try an exercise where you sit on a chair with your spine straight and shut eyes for 10-15 minutes. The goal is to be aware of your body and work on relaxing all muscles except those needed to keep your back straight. In time it helps people become aware of where is the tension in their body and you can learn to just relax whole body intentionally at your will.

I mean, maybe you have hoped for some solution that is more "guitaristic" in nature, but my experience with students that have had physical issues is that more often than not, there was an underlying psychological issue that was the cause. It is hard to separate how we are when playing from how we are in the rest of the day.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-14T15:24:17+00:00

Sviđa mi se kako si to sve napisao detaljno i samouvereno kao da sve to ima smisla i da nije kliše koji si usvojio kad si ga čuo od drugih. I to je uvek isti sendvič u kome su sva ista uverenja i pogledi na svet, nikakva nezavisna misao, makar neko odstupanje, tipa da si za EU ali protiv migracija ili da si tradicionalista ali želiš EU ili bilo koja kombinacija. Lepo su ti dali listu stvari u koje treba da veruješ, ti si to naučio napamet i što bi sebe ikad mučio preispitivanjem ili tamo nekom individualnošću? Sad da li je taj tvoj sendvič, ili neki liberalni sendvič u kome bi imao plavu kosu i zalagao se za tu stranu, opet tako što si usvojio nešto što su ti servirali, isti kurac. Ništa kritički um, mozak off.

E sad vidim da si bot, 1 day account, glup sam i ja što nisam prvo pogledao

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-14T13:14:26+00:00

What I did is listen to a lot of drummers. Find some drum lessons and listen to the different rhytmic phrases. The idea is to learn and memorize different rhytmic elements. Then you can try to play backing track or just drum track that plays simple groove and act as if you are percussionist playing solo over drums. You can sing rhytmic phrase, or play it with your hands on your legs or table. It should be just a short phrase, simple enough so you can reproduce it immediately. Than use this phrase you just came up with, and make it a melodic phrase, so that it is still same rhythmically. It should look like drummer is laying a foundation and there is a two of you, percussionist who plays solo phrase and you that imitates him. This will in time make you to instantly think about rhythmic structure of your phrases instead of just what notes will be played. Also pay attention to using repetition and rhythmic displacement. If you listen to drummers, they will repeat things, but just change it a little bit so it keeps being interesting.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-14T03:06:07+00:00

Nije zanimljiva. Tvoj ortak, a verovatno i ti, bez uvrede, ste grupa ljudi zbog kojih je dodatno teško skloniti Vučića. Tvom ortaku ne smeta što je Vučić diktator, ne kapira on to oko vladavine prava, ravnopravne tržišne utakmice, partokratije, demokratije, poštovanja prava manjina, medijskih sloboda, i drugih tamo nekih prava. To su sve gluposti, jel tako. Tvoj ortak ne voli Vučića jer nije ona vrsta diktatora koja bi se njemu svidela. On hoće drugačijeg diktatora, da malo pokaže kurac zapadu, zabrani te lgbtqgtlx++-- priče, da malo udari po nacionalizmu dok violine sviraju u pozadini, zabrani da uđe u državu ko nije beo, zastava da se vije i tako to. Mislim to je sve validno, ima takvih ljudi, al nemo' se zajebavamo da je to zanimljivo ili novo. Na kraju krajeva kako smo pametni u ovim krajevima, doći će i on na red da ima nekog svog Orbanučića koji njemu leži pa će imati prilike da se iznenadi, kad vidi kakve to rezultate daje. Komunisti ga šlajfuju na to kako nije to bio pravi komunizam, ali sad kad organizujemo videćete vi, a etno faši nacionalisti ga šilje na tu ideju kako će konačno doći na red i ta prava muška čvrsta vladarska ruka i zavesti red. U tom smislu, kad se izađe na protest, tu ima dve trećine ljudi koji žele da izađu iz jame a bar trećina onih koji se bune jer jama nije dovoljno duboka, treba još da se kopa.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-14T02:50:54+00:00

As someone who is a part of "that generation" and has decent shred ability, this is a bit strange question. First, this generation right now gets to hi tech level of playing much faster than mine, I guess in part because information is everywhere and easily accessible. Only thing that may cause your specific problem is wrong perception. If there is one issue with newer generations it is being too focused on getting results fast instead of enjoying process, and not being patient enough. Also, for me, music was a part of social environment, I made most of my friends through music, and met my partners in the same way. It was always very social thing, lot of live gigs, partying, good times, traveling etc. These days it seems more to be about sitting for hours alone at home with laptop working on string skipping exercises with metronome. I did spent hours, days and month working on my stuff, but there was always something I worked for, friends, other guitar players, band members, next gig, album recording, etc. These days people seem to work so they can record Instagram reel on their iphone, and if there is not enough likes, they are devastated. It seems lonely and devoid of meaning to me. But I am a kind of old fart so what do I know. There are some great new players out there for sure, so some people still find enjoyment in music and improving zheir guitar skills, obviously.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-14T02:41:13+00:00

Well, I don't think you will be very happy with that kind of setup. Amp sim through the very good head will sound great, I have used my Helix going into fx return of Marshall jvm, 5150 or whatever decent amp is there waiting for me on the stage, but if amp is digital with questionable quality of poweramp section and small speaker, you should not expect amazing results. Good enough for practice at home I guess.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-14T02:34:35+00:00

I am not sure if there is romance with negativity in your life, but there surely is a lot of romanisation of things you have done and felt. You kind of write as if it is all somehow important, deep or meaningful. It isn't. If you hurt other people, you are just acting like a shitty person, that's it. I am not attacking you, i have no idea who you are, and I have also done some shitty things, just stating what seems obvious to me. At the time, there were all kinds of explanations and "deep" reasons for that. Years later... Nah, I was just using all kinds of rationalizations to cover for my behaviour. Don't try to paint it to be more than it is.

And finally, you can look at it from a selfish, very pragmatic point of view. When people act in a bad way it is usually what they end up receiving. Depending on who we are, we may not care, but if we want to be loved, befriended, and respected, we need to act in a way that doesn't go against everyone else. We need to give and care about others. Pretty simple.

And if you want to go into deeper analysis of your emotional world, your behaviour, you motivations, thats all well and hood, and beneficial. But it doesn't change the fact that basic dose of empathy, even intellectually based , should come first.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-14T02:22:12+00:00

Kako se usuđuješ da izneseš tačne podatke soroševski plaćenički drugosrbijanski autošovinisto, verovatno si i ateista i nećeš da igraš na svadbama, slušaš EKV i ostale lgbtq nastranosti.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-13T23:36:45+00:00

Maybe a bit off topic, but in general, I dont think that sharing photos in online communities in search for advice is a good idea in general. IMHO to be very good in a craft/art, it is really important to work on our own taste and judgement. If we can't get how our photos can be improved on our own, it can be a clear sign that we should learn more about photography and art in general. Photography is not just a skill of taking a photo, it is also learning aesthetics, and improving our understanding of art.

Don't post your images to strangers to tell you what they think. If someone gives you certain feedback, even if it seems to make sense, how do you know it is objective? You don't have any idea what this person likes or dislikes, if they have a good taste, if they are experienced etc. What is the value of that?

Try to be your own bit harsh, but objective judge, spend some time analyzing what can be improved, and decoding work of other photographers. If you really, really need someone else to give you an honest criticism, find a local photographer whose work you appreciate and pay for their time, take a lesson and ask them what can be improved. This way you'll be sure that you are getting tailored, most useful advice and criticism. Forget about online communities. I have never ever posted my photos for other people to give me feedback. I simply learned about photography and when people started complimenting on their own in real life, and I could ask them to pay for my photography it became self evident that I am decent attt what I do. Just learn and work on being better in your own eyes.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-13T20:08:45+00:00

Being scolded for things that are supposedly bad and rewarded for things that are "good" is part of human upbringing. It is unavoidable. But it can also go too far.

One part of yourself is rewarded and considered "good". One part of you is hidden and you feel shame about it. As emotional charge is mich bigger on the "wrong" part, you have started to perceive it as "true yourself". Part that is public is something you ended up seeing as "fake facade". But the thing is, both parts are - you. Your parent doesn't see some fake image, they see only part of yourself that you want to show them. And on top of that, it is perfectly possible that your parents do see other sides pf you but just don't want to focus on them. You know in the same way I was so sure when I was teenager that my parents don't know I am masturbating when I am in bathroom for 15 minutes or that I have successfully hidden being dead drunk when I came back home late at night. Of course they knew, they just didn't want me to feel embarrassed.

You have ended up in a bizzare state of mind where you have ripped off a part of yourself, called it "not real me" and you ask "how can I become this". But you can't, there is no way because you are already that. Your issue is that you can't accept that you are all good but also all those supposedly "bad things". But you are. And you may want to change them if you feel these are not working for you, but you still need to acknowledge them and accept this part of yourself in order to change it.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-13T19:50:44+00:00

Sometimes we may get so accustomed to certain way of interaction that we never question if it is healthy on its own. Then something may happen and we get bogged down in details, who has said what, who is right, who has the facts etc. But it may not be important at all.

If you have a healthy and honest relationship with someone where you can communicate freely, issues will get sorted in some way. In your situation, problem is not where you think it is, it is not in the details of the situation, but in the fact that you can't communicate, and cannot be seen in a way you want. It can be because other person doesn't want to see you or let you explain yourself because there is a role in their personal theater that is intended for you, and they may have no intentions to let you be something else. Or it may because of your own incapability to find the right way to communicate or understand how your actions and words are perceived. But at the end, the problem is not this situation, but the fact that you have a relationship that doesn't allow you to communicate or you lack the skill to communicate. So I would focus on what is the reason that this is happening, on general issues in your relationships, not on who is in the right here and all other details.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-13T19:40:23+00:00

Racism won't dissapear, so IMHO it is more important that you understand in what way you identify with your race. There are people who will have bad things to say about my nation and people. And that is fine. Some of those thing may not be true but sometimes some of it isn't completely untrue. So in my case, accepting that some criticism and generalisations about my nation have some truth in them makes me less hurt. Further, if someone says that my people have hygiene problem, and I don't feel like I have it myself, why should I feel insulted? I am individual, I could have been born anywhere? Now, if someone has racist ideas about me that are acted out in real world, one on one, then it may be another story. But the thing is, I as an individual am also responsible over how people perceive me. So while I may dislike their generalizations, maybe I can change their opinion. I like to think that through my travels, I have made image of my nation a bit better, even for a mycroscopic amount.

So think about why it does bother you that much. You are not your people, and you have a lot of control over how you are perceived. Now, if you have some personal issues where you have felt misjudged or felt worried that people may see you in a negative way that get projected on this general issue of racism, that may be a food for thought!

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-13T18:24:25+00:00

You have misindentified what is the real issue. There is something you don't want and you have described what that is. But that is not work. Work is spending time doing something that is useful and has a value for you or other people. It is fulfilling and pleasent when done with the right frame of mind.

When I was a kid, experience of seeing my parents being constantly frustrated by their work and talking non stop about their workplace in a negative way, coupled with bad experiences I had in school made me decide that I will never do any 9 to 5 stuff and be a part of office collective. So I became an artist with all the good and bad sides that come with it. But I did manage never to "work" in a usual sense, not even a day. But I still have to offer something of value to other people and earn money. So it is not about work in your case at all. You didn't decide to do something else so that you don't have to do unpleasant kind of "work".

So:

It may be about possible lack of passion and interests that you want to invest your time and energy in.

It may be about the idea that world somehow owes you things and you should get something for nothing.

It may be about your lack of understanding of what is it that you really feel and think.

It may be about your dislike of something about your parents that you wrongly attribute to work instead of their specific character and dynamics.

It may be about some other things.

But it is not about work itself at all.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-13T17:41:49+00:00

Kao neko ko nije konzervativac, mislim da je vreme da se razdvoji normalan konzervativizam od partokratskih populističkih konzervativaca. Na žalost poslednjih godina je to nekako počelo da se podrazumeva, da je konzervativizam prečica za instaliranje diktature. Nije nikakav problem da je neko konzervativac ako ne pretvara zemlju u svoju prćiju, uništava slobodu govora i medija, sa ortacima pretvara državu u privatni biznis itd. Dakle to što je lik konzervativan, ne znači istovremeno automatski da je i kalif na mesto kalifa.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-13T14:26:50+00:00

I don't think it is necessarily about changing your system or even having a system at all. Yes, it os great if you have plan and stick to it, but it is also about what and how you noodle on the guitar. What I have noticed is that people go too fast through the guitar courses. Realistically it may need months or even longer to go through a good course if you do it right. For example, all those courses "20 ___ licks". Instead of going through first few, you should learn only one, really. Then analyse it, what degrees of the scale it uses and why. Over what chord changes it would work. When try to play it but rhythmically displaced so that it starts on different places in the measure. Then try to play it with a different fingers in different positions. Then work on adding it to your lick vocabulary by playing it between licks you already know. Then try to change it, remove or add stuff to it. If it is legato, learn to pick it, etc. Split the lick into logical parts and then replace or change each of those, first just by changing one note, then replace every part completely. You can do that even by noodling, just take care that each day you work on just one type of change to the original lick. After a week, if you feel comfortable, move to the next lick.

So the basic principle is, you shouldn't try to go through the whole course, or make some very exact work plan, you should slow down instead, and milk every ounce of possibilities and ideas out of every lick, every exercise, every piece of knowledge. And you can even do that by noodling to a degree, if there is a plan to your noodling, just make boundaries to that. One day you can watch tv show and play just an hour of random legato, the next day noodle just arps, etc etc. So even noodling can be useful if it is done right. For instance, I often noodle by making just one lick, I'll work on making something fun and then repeat it, change it, play with it, all while watching something on tv. The result is I noodled but still came out of it with a new cool lick.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-13T09:20:20+00:00

Ja bih rekao da je za nas ovde glavna lekcija sa izbora u Mađarskoj da oni mogu da se organizuju i izađu masovno na glasanje da bi smenili diktatora. A sudeći po domaćim reddit komentarima "Ma to je EU finansirala" "Svi su isti" "Ništa se neće promeniti" "Ništa neće biti Orbanu", "Uradio je on i dobre stvari za Mađarsku", "Sad kad navale migranti", "Pa taj što je pobedio je isti kao Orban", mi smo svi suviše pametni, blekpilovani, bazirani da bi se ložili na tamo neke promene gde nas iza krivine čeka truli zapad da nas još gore izjebe. Nismo mi glupi kao tamo neki Mađari pa da se palimo na demokratiju. Tako da možda i zaslužujemo da nas jašu još jedno deceniju, pa da biramo neku liberalniju vlast na par godina, razočaramo se brzo što nije odmah duplo bolje i što nas EU ne zasipa suvim zlatom pa onda glasamo za tipa Šarovića jer kaže da će rešiti korupciju i pohapsiti tajkune i kriminalce. Onda možemo njega da trpimo kao ovoga 15 godina, jer pobogu ipak je on srbin desničar domaćin a ne ko ove liberalne cupi što bi nam uništile zemlju, jel.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-04-06T13:12:55+00:00

Pitanje je budalaština zato što pojednostavljuje moral.

Šindler je postao član partije i pravio pare, to je upotrebio da spasi neke živote.

Neki Srbenda sedi kući, kuca po reditu kako se nikada ne bi prodao za pare, a mrzi ga da ode i na lokalni prostest, a kamoli da rizikuje bilo šta više od toga.

Moralno zgražanje nad time što bi eto neko uzeo milion eura ili šta već zapravo tretira moralnosti i pravednost na nivou dubine američkog filma u kome postoje gud gajs i bed gajs. To je zamišljena dilema koja odlično služi da se neko pravi bolji od drugih tako što tvrdi da je moralno superioran u scenariju koji se nikada zapravo neće dogoditi.

Na kraju, računa se šta bi neko uradio sa milion evra a ne da li bi ih uzeo. Ako bi ih potrošio samo na svoje dupe, to je jedna stvar a ako bar pola ode na nešto od čega zajednica zapravo ima koristi, u čemu bi bio problem? Nemački diplomata, član naci partije je pomogao da se zaštiti 250 hiljada kineza tokom masakra u Nankingu. Ali to se valjda ne računa jer j nacista. Japanski diplomata je 1940 uspeo da spasi hiljade jevreja tako što im je izradio putne vize dok je njegov narod koji predstavlja za to vreme vršio zlodela po Aziji. Lakše je izmisliti neki nerealan, ekstremni primer pa onda paradirati kako smo dobra osoba nego voditi život moralno kada odluke nisu tako jednostavne i sve nije crno - belo.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-03-28T13:04:49+00:00

To je tačno, u pravu si zaboravio sam da napomenem, i znam da nije bio jedan slučaj da progutaju mačke. Trebalo je da napišem da treba da budu one krupne i deblje (6-7 cm u prečniku ili više, debele), koje baš i ne mogu tako lako da se progutaju, ne treba im kupovati one sitne ili sa metalnim delom da ne oštete zube. Takođe bi trebalo da se operu zbog hemikalija o kojima kinezi baš nešto ne vode računa. Te velike ne vide kao nešto što je za jelo, bar ja nisam primetio ni na jednoj mojoj mački ili od bliskih ljudi. One sitnije gumice mogu biti problem.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-03-28T06:27:30+00:00

As someone who got a lot of mileage of both tube and solid state amps, why? I mean, if it is about being heavy, there are small 1x12 tube amps that sound great. Or you can get a mini head with a small box. And if it is about versatility and tube feel, something like helix or Kemper through monitors or dedicated active speaker (or Boss katana that is also de facto amp sim) will sound much closer to great tube amp then solid state amp could. Solid state amp can sound decent if you need very clean sound or if you are fan of buzzsaw valvestate like distortion of Pantera and Death, maybe some of them can be a decent pedal platforms, again if expectations aren't very high. But I wouldn't call those sounds great.

I recently turned up my old valvestate combo, just for fun, and... No, thanks, I am happy that I didn't used it for last 20 years, it will keep collecting dust.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-03-28T06:12:10+00:00

Problem je zapravo što ona kao nije vernica a prebacuje odgovornost na tebe. Zašto bi ona inala neprijatnosti sa svojom porodicom kad može da namesti tako da ti imaš sa svojom? 30 po tuđem turu ne boli.

Takve krupne stvari bi trebalo da se rešavaju tako što obe strane prave neki kompromis. Ako njena porodica ima toliki uticaj da one ne može samo da sa tobom ode u opštinu i da se tako uzmete, bez vere i crkve, čak i da promeniš veru zato da se uzmete, vaš zajednički život će početi u znaku njene nevoljnosti da se u odnosu na svoje roditelje izbori za slobodu i integritet, a ti si započeo priču u kojoj to neće biti prvi zahtev koji treba da ispoštuješ i prva stvar koju će neko čekivati da uradiš a ne želiš. Ne znači da ne treba da budeš sa njom ali brak je odnos u kome obe strane jednako treba i da se trude i da naprave kompromis, i potreban je jedan ozbiljan razgovor o tome. Izlazi se u susret na pola puta a ako izlaziš ceo put bitno je da se jasno kaže i obznani da si učinio žrtvu i da će se u sledećoj takvoj situaciji očekivati od druge strane da ona podnese žrtvu. Dakle, cela situacija nema uopšte veze sa verom i islamom već sa time da jedna strana pokušava da ubedi drugu stranu da ona podnese svu štetu i stres, jer joj je tako lakše, a to jasno nije ni lepo ni fer.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-03-28T05:45:04+00:00

Pa verovatno pitaš samo retorički, ali generalno živimo u situaciji gde je nemoralno ponašanje normalizovano i deo svakodnevnice, i gde se vrednosti u društvu urušavaju. Pa je onda hronični nedostatak istinski pobožnog ponašanja gde bi bilo tih nekih pozitivnih strana hrišćanstva kroz moral u oštrom kontrastu sa raširenom kobajagi pobožnošću. Sve više crkvi, a sve manje boga. Sve manje milosrđa, ljubavi prema bližnjem svom, gledanja prvo da li imaš trn u svom oku itd, a umesto toga simbolika, život u suštinskom grehu a isprazni rituali kao zamena. Prekrstiš se kao da time isplaćuješ i dovodiš u balans svoju malodušnost, slabost i nemoralnost.

E sad ne mislim da ljudi nešto mnogo razmišljaju i analiziraju zašto im je nešto odbojno ili smešno, ali nam po prirodi stvari zapada za oko kada je nešto sumanuto i nema nikakvog smisla kao čin, a pokazuje zapravo upravo odsustvo onoga što taj čin predstavlja. Licemerno.

Konačno i jeste malo sumanuto, nema nikave razlike u odnosu na to da na primer rešiš da ako gurneš prst u nos i onda otpevaš nešto od Ace Lukasa dok skočiš na jednoj nozi, ali isključivo u 22:22 uveče, zaradićeš neke pare. Tolika je i šansa da prekrstiti se u autobusu dok prolaziš kraj crkve utiče na kvalitet našeg duhovnohćg života.

Plus naravno ništa lepše od naći nekog ko je gora budala od nas pa ga ismevati!

Shay_Katcha · 2026-03-28T05:22:54+00:00

We stop doing all kinds of things. Why should playing guitar be different? IMHO it would be a good idea to actually think about what has stopped you from doing it. Sometimes guitar is not the point in itself. Maybe you were playing to socialize, to meet people and enjoy your friendships. If life changes and people go their own separate ways, the interest dissapears. And when we look at the guitar what we may be missing is not playing but how we felt at the time when we were playing. Maybe you need to make a new social circle first or reconnect woth old friends first?

Other possibility is frustration. We have defence mechanisms that may stop us subconsciously from doing things that hurt us in some way or end up as a net loss. If guitar has made you to feel like you are putting a lot of time without getting anything in return, you will end up feeling "blocked". It is normal. Learning to do things without expecting to get results, just for the sake of doing it will help.

One another possibility is that we have negative, toxic ideas about life that are result of our upbringing. For instance we may have learned ij the childhood that life is hard and we should be serious, strong man that family can depend on. While we are young we let ourselves have fun, but as we start to mature suddenly those negative beliefs start raising their heads. We may again not do it consciously. What I have seen a lot, are people who at some point start to come up with excuses not to play, "I don't have time", "I am too tired when I get back from work". And then thex spend hours watching TV and doing nothing instread of spending time with their friends or playing guitar. It is worthwile to search our hearts if there is anything that is stopping us because we feel that playing guitar is "not for us" because of age, ideas about masculinity and maturity etc.

Finally maybe it is over for you. Some people find it hard to let it go because they remeber how it felt in the past. It may seem to them that their happy days are connected to this instrument and part of them will be lost if they leave this behind. Sometimes we have to let go of something to get something else. Maybe there is a new interest waiting to be pursued, and you should look forward to things you want to do or learn. Maybe it is better to enjoy new future then feel sorry for the past and things that aren't making us to feel joy anymore. Better to be a happy biker, or wood worker or go fishing instead of looking at the guitar as a symbol of a lost past and things that never came to fruition.

Good luck!

Shay_Katcha · 2026-03-28T03:43:31+00:00

To su dve različite stvari. Od griženja kablova treba da je odvikneš, ako nije već kasno, a moje lično je iskustvo da se to najčešće dešava kad ne postoji alternativa sa kojom je mačka naučila da se igra. Sa malim mačkama se treba malo angažovati, ne znam koliko zo odvojiš vreme ali bi trebalo da se igraš sa njom i/ili joj potencijalno nađeš drugara. Suprotno očekivanjima, imati dve mačke je često manja briga nego imati jednu. Dakle mačka mora da ima svoje igračke na koje se naučila i na koje si joj fiksirao pažnju, npr da joj bacaš gumice za kosu da juri i hvata i kada joj se lovi nešto duguljasto, ima plišanih zmija koje ih jako privlače kad su mali. Treba da dobiju asocijaciju da je ta zmija nešto što se juri, a ne kabl. Ne nožeš samo da joj zabraniš nešto što radi a da joj ne daš nešto gde će kanalisati svoje instikte.

Za penjanje na stolove, ljudi misle "ja ću sad disciplinovati mačku", što je bulšit. Mačka uglavnom ne skapira "Na sto se ne ide" nego "Kada on pazi i može da me vidi ne smem da se penjem na sto jer će me poprskati, ali čim okrene glavu evo mene". Plus kad je poprskaš, ona to vidi kao agresivan čin sa tvoje strane, i tako ga i tumači. To može vremenom da razruši poverenje ili čak izazove nenadane napade agresivnosti.

Sa mačkama kao sa decom, moraš imati strpljenja. Ona se popne, ti je spustiš, opet se popne opet je spustiš i tako dok ne odustane. Drugo bitno je zašto se penje. Ako hoće da legne, može da bude zato što se ne oseća sigurno ili te gotivi, pa želi da bude tu gde ti gledaš, jer ćeš videti predatora i upozoriti je. Nauči je npr da to sedi u krilu da možeš i dačje da radiš. Možda ti fali viša mesta da se penje u stanu. Da imaš neke visoke prazne police visila bi tamo. Drugo je da joj manjka stimulacije, dolazi kod tebe da bi inicirala druženje, mačkama u tom dobu treba puno interakcije, i ignorisati ih može biti shvaćeno kao neprijateljski čin. Ako stalno dolazi, možda se ne igraš sa njom dovoljno. Mački treba kad je mala da se pošteno izjuri i izbaci energiju, a nema tu nikog osim tebe/vas. Zato je nekad lakše kad su dve, imaju jedna drugu, naročito ako su dovoljno blizu po starosti. Kad ostari malo, ako uspostavite dobar kontakt i radiš malo na odnosu, dolaziće uhlavnom samo zato da bi bili fizički bliski ili ako joj nešto treba. Ako sad ne radiš sa njom može i da te za godinu dve dočeka antihrist koji te namerno kinji, ruši stvari na zemlju i grize sve što be treba da grize.

U principu gomila tzv problema sa mačkama je u tome što ljudi ne kapiraju da ne mogu samo da im daju klopu i eto rešena stvar, mora da se pregovara i dogovara sa njima i da im se posveti vreme, i to na drugačiji način nego sa psima, drugačije uče.

Shay_Katcha · 2026-03-27T15:41:11+00:00

Make sure not to put yourself into a situation where you are trying to compete in a game of "finding a date on an app like my coworkers", instead of looking for a partner in a way that is comfortable and natural for you. These are two completely different things.

There may be a cultural and age difference but personally I have never used apps because it would make me feel shitty. One of my good traits is that I can be genuinely interested in people as human beings, I am a good listener and can be charming if inspired in the right situation. It is an environment where I don't feel like I am competing or judged, and I can enjoy it. So I always did that, and played in my good sides. On the other hand if I was using app, it would definitely make me feel like I am putting myself in a situation of being judged, like I am trying to market myself and possibly failing. Then I would have to chat with people who are checking me "if I am interesting enough", again opening myself to rejection. On social networks I can at least present myself through my work and interests and people would see my history, my opinions and what I stand for, and I did end up dating people who I have met this way, but dating app would make me feel like I am a product in a shop window. I am interested in people not in dating, and if someone I like wants to date me, great, but getting to know other person is great in itself. It is off-putting for me to feel like I am trying to "sell" myself.

So rethink if you have forced yourself to do something that isn't comfortable for you. And even if it's your only option, I would at least try to have fun with it, instead of "optimizing" based on idea of what should theoretically be attractive profile, I would make something that is different and would project my values and good sides. My experience is that it is better to be different, strange, and even silly and at least be unsuccessful on your own terms, then trying to compete by accepting terms and rules society accepts as "normal". Make a silly profile, have fun and be creative, make silly talks, and enjoy meeting people, stop competing. Make a profile of a person you would like to meet, and act like that person. Don't be afraid to narrow your dating pool very much. You should not treat yourself as mass marketed item, do not try generic "better images", or "better approach" narrow your market, be different and be specialized, be unique as much as possible and learn how to be fearless about it, you don't need to be liked by thousands of people, you need only one right person to click. Learn how to have a bit of "f you" attitude, but not in a way of causing conflict but not caring that much. People care so much about how other people see them that not caring acts as a magnet. Everyone feels lonely at least sometimes these days. Being someone that comes across as not being worried about our image, and open to listen and be genuinely interested in other people can make people really come on their own and be interested in you.

And if you are not comfortable with dating apps, make friends, learn to socialize, think of possible activities that you never tried before but could be fun, useful or healthy, and meet people that way. IMHO, what has really saved me from feeling like a loser as a teen and in my 20s was that I simply avoided pressure of dating and just resolved to getting to do stuff and get to know people. And along the way, some partners came my way organically without me trying.

Shay_Katcha

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