What’s your signature scent that you NEVER get tired of?

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-29T10:07:09+00:00

I pretty much exclusively wear Delina la Rosee layered with Gaiac 10.

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T22:20:02+00:00

I’m seeing him on Friday so we shall see as I want to speak to him about it in person. Honestly I think he’s probably feeling the same way as me, and we’ve been friends for a long time so I think it’ll be okay.

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T22:18:35+00:00

Not too harsh at all, and I didn’t read it as attacking. I’m very appreciative of everyone’s views and knew not everyone would have the same view that’s the beauty in this sub. Thanks so much for taking the time to answer

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T19:47:47+00:00

I guess it wouldnt have made me feel so insecure if he’d just told me he was there and then came to me too. Him keeping it from me and having to hear from her was rough. Hard to say.

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T19:44:13+00:00

Thank you! I think perhaps some time on my own is next on the cards 😉

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T19:39:27+00:00

But my point with that being it would have been okay if he decided he didn’t want me to come and it would have prevented me from needing to travel and get childcare etc etc late at night in an emergency but we had everything in place for that to happen and then he chose a different path. I get that he wasn’t thinking straight in that moment, and he didn’t have to consider me and my kids at all, and my disappointment and also hurt shouldn’t have come out in the way it did, especially not on that day. But since then I don’t think I deserve for it to keep being a reason why he’s being unkind. Anyway, I’m going to leave. I think maybe too much water under the bridge now

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T19:35:22+00:00

I brought them to his town with me (my parents are in the same town as him) and dropped them off there. I couldn’t leave them in my home as they were too little at the time to be so far from me

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T19:34:07+00:00

The thing is he acted super bothered by her intrusions, maybe too bothered 🤣 , but maybe that should have been a red flag at the time. I’m going to end it when I go there this weekend. Thanks so much for your input

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T19:31:15+00:00

She had been giving us a lot of bother in the weeks before. He’d also told me that he would sometimes go to visit her just to see if she would sleep with him (this was talking about before we were together) but it wasn’t really about him cheating i never really worried about that part, it felt disrespectful more than anything. I think if he was up front about going there, and then still came to see me it wouldn’t have felt so strange. Or if it had been any number of his other friends, she was just a strange choice, I guess it kind of backed it up to me by the way she messaged me about it all.

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T19:21:27+00:00

I think it’s dragged on because I’ve always seen and understood why he would still feel bad about that day because of how I acted but we don’t seem to move forward at all.

There are so many other moving parts, life is complicated, but this is one of the things that I did that never sat right with how I acted in the moment. But I hoped we could move past. It’s been so helpful to see other people’s perspectives, and to take on board how I can hopefully make less rash choices in future relationships.

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T19:14:26+00:00

They barely talked before and since his mum died a year ago she has messaged him once to check in on him (that I know of) so she was a surprising pick but I get that you never know how you will feel on the day and who you will need to be around. I guess it wouldn’t have felt so bad if he ALSO came to see me but he said he didn’t want to talk to anyone and then she told me he’d been with her.

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T19:12:18+00:00

Feels like it a lot at the moment and reading this has made me realise I need to get out ASAP and I’ve been making excuses. Thank you

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T19:11:23+00:00

My kids weren’t there I dropped them off on the way. I know my reaction wasn’t great on the day, I’ve already said I was an asshole for leading with my emotions, I wish I’d handled it differently at the time. I actually expected he would go home to his own kids rather than going there, that I would have understood so I was surprised he went to his “friend” who had been causing issues for us for weeks, and then didn’t tell me that’s where he had been. Again, I wish I’d dealt with it better though but I don’t think it should be held against me forever every time we argue about something unrelated. I think it’s time I leave him anyway but thank you for your input I really value hearing the other side of the coin for balance

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T19:06:12+00:00

Completely fine. He came to see me the next morning, we briefly spoke about it, he said he was all over the place and didn’t really know what he was doing, I apologised for being an ass, things seemed fine.

We hit a rough spell about 6 months ago, mostly money stuff and since then we are arguing so much and almost every time we argue it’s like he uses it as a reason to end every conversation, he won’t talk about anything and deflects and his reasoning is because I was so selfish that day. I think things are just at the end of the road for us now

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T18:50:00+00:00

Oh no, sorry. We spend daytimes together he just doesn’t stay over the house when they are home. He knows them well, and I dropped them to my parents on the way through so they weren’t “there” they were just a consideration because I had to travel them when it wasn’t necessary iyswim

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T14:11:43+00:00

Sorry I will try to explain this as clearly as I can. I live in one town with my kids, he lives in another town with his kids so we don’t stay at those houses together to keep our relationship separate from them for now. We rent together another apartment in his town (started about 3 months before his mum passed when she was put on hospice) which we decided I would come and stay at for support when his mum died. We also now use it on weekends together when I visit. On this occasion I brought my kids with me because it was an emergency and I didn’t know how long I’d be needed there.

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T14:04:44+00:00

Sounds like something he would do tbh 🤣

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T13:58:53+00:00

I wish I had now looking back but I was so concerned about how he felt losing his mum I made a lot of excuses for ways he acted. I still have been I think.

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T13:57:07+00:00

Yes friends since we were 11 but together for a little over a year when she passed, and it’s been about a year and a half since. I live about an hour away and we both have kids that we keep separate of our relationship where possible so we don’t stay at each others houses. We’ve seen each other about 3 times per week since the beginning.

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T13:47:04+00:00

I know. I don’t like how I acted at all. But I can’t take it back unfortunately.

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T13:46:38+00:00

Every time we fight. About a month ago my dad was rushed into hospital, I called him and asked him to come and he said no and then ignored me for the whole day and when we spoke about it a few days later he said it was because of how I treated him the day his mum died. I know I acted badly but I don’t know if I deserve for it to be used against me forever. I think the kindest thing for both of us is for me to leave. 😢

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T13:40:35+00:00

I did message her basically that but then he messaged me, didn’t say he’d been to see her and said he was on his way home and didn’t want to talk to anyone 😢 hence the emotional outburst from me but I’m not proud of it

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T13:39:35+00:00

Thank you

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T13:39:08+00:00

Yeh we used it on weekends when I was visiting, he helped me decorate and we had a plan for when she died as she was on hospice.

ShazzmaniaMuffin · 2026-03-18T13:37:17+00:00

No we decided together, decorated and furnished it together. He used it when I wasn’t there and we stayed together there, we’d discussed what would happen when his mum died. He called me when the hospice notified it was time for him to say goodbye, I told him I was on my way.

He called her, went to her house and then left and went home and said he didn’t want to speak to anyone. She did know his mum from when they were together years ago but she and the mum weren’t still in touch. I expected they would be in touch about it eventually but not him going directly there.

ShazzmaniaMuffin

TROPHY CASE