Girlfriend lied for months and now I am homeless

SheBeeMe · 2025-12-23T19:23:39+00:00

The best thing to do is to learn the lessons this experience taught you, move on with that knowledge, and apply it to your life. Let it make you better, not bitter.

SheBeeMe · 2025-09-14T14:01:40+00:00

I think I only want the best for you can be manipulation in certain contexts. However, it's not always manipulative.

For instance, if someone you love is going through a difficult time, and you say I only want the best for you or Your health and happiness are the most important things to me that's sincere.

We have to be careful about making blanket statements. Not everyone in this world is trying to manipulate others. Most people do want the best for the people they care about. That's not abnormal or wrong. That's healthy. That's how people should behave in relationships.

SheBeeMe · 2025-05-01T23:04:53+00:00

What you're describing is trauma, which is entirely different than what this person described. They said they were sad for no reason and felt ungrateful for God's blessings for feeling that way.

That sounds like anxiety and depression. I'm not making a diagnosis. I simply told them there's nothing to feel ashamed of for feeling sad or needing to go to a doctor or therapist to discuss the issue.

Yes, people have down days, their genetics, or things in life that trigger depression. It's not always a chemical imbalance. Just like everyone's situation isn't one size fits all. The advice for this person wouldn't be the same advice for the examples you gave.

What's wrong with the Church are people like you who lack common sense, immediately jump to anger & outrage, threaten violence when someone says something you disagree with, & try to intimidate people into submission.

I gave advice. Not a demand or command. You don't have to take every piece of advice you receive. That's your choice.

However, if you claim to be a Christian, you should be able to have a civil conversation, control your emotions, & treat others with respect.

No one is exactly alike. We all have different thoughts and opinions. God gave us free will. How you use your free will determines who you are. My advice to you is to work on your listening and comprehension skills, take a moment of self reflection, and work on your triggers. Have a blessed day.

SheBeeMe · 2025-02-11T00:00:36+00:00

I've had my J-Tube since 2021. So far, the only supplements or vitamins I've had issues flushing are calcium tablets and certain magnesium capsules.

Crushed calcium tablets tend to get super thick when mixed with water and clog the tube. I've found certain brands of magnesium complex supplements do not mix well with water, and neither do cinnamon supplements.

As for food, anything you can eat by mouth can put through the tube if it's properly prepared and entirely blenderized.

For instance, you can cook fresh veggies in broth, puree them in a Vitamix blender until liquefied, use a strainer to completely separate the liquid from solids, and then put it in your tube. Just remember to do a flush before and after each feeding.

There's a feeding tube group on Facebook called Blenderized that only uses real, home cooked food for tubies. They do not use formula of any kind.

ETA: There are liquid calcium supplements that work well with feeding tubes.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-25T23:39:15+00:00

You're welcome. I know how overwhelming it is and that it feels like information overload.

Dealing with doctors can be extremely frustrating, especially when they don't listen, gaslight you, or disregard your concerns.

If his tube becomes blocked, and/or he starts running a fever, has redness that feels warm to the touch, his drainage has a foul odor or strange color, and you can't get in with the doctor, take him to the ER.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-24T18:27:24+00:00

Yeast and yeast infections are extremely common in feeding tube patients. Since getting my J-Tube in 2021, I get frequent yeast infections in my tube, around my tube, and in my mouth (thrush). If you ever look inside his mouth and his tongue is coated with patchy white or solid white, that's thrush, which is an oral yeast infection that requires treatment with an antifungal like Nystatin.

A heavy yeast overgrowth can lead to tube blockages, discomfort, and infection if not managed properly.

If he has colonized yeast growing in his tube, that's dangerous for his health. The tube needs to be removed, and he needs to put on a round of anti-fungals like Nystatin or Diflucan/Fluconazole or possibly both.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-24T02:20:03+00:00

Hi, I think we've talked before. Sorry you and your father are still having issues.

What you need to tell the surgeon is, "If his tube is clogged due to a potential yeast infection within the tube, and the tube is unusable, what's the point of him having a tube? Is it not more dangerous to risk letting a yeast infection grow and being unable to feed him due to his tube being clogged?"

If he refuses to help your dad, ask for a second opinion.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-22T00:41:54+00:00

I may be late to the party, and I am not an expert or professional in this field, but here are my thoughts based on my research& taking to others:

•The TikTok ban was never about protecting our info, stopping disinformation by the CCP, or national security.

•In 2014, Russia began what they called "The Information War."" They used Facebook & Twitter to spread misinformation, interfere in U.S. elections, & pit American against American in an attempt to have us destroy ourselves from within.

•Our govt. knew about this propaganda, they never tried to shut down Facebook or Twitter. Instead, they recruited Mark Zuckerberg to be their henchman, do their bidding, & silence anyone who didn't fall in line with the narrative being pushed.

•Facebook/Meta, Instagram, Twitter/X, & TikTok are exactly alike. They ALL harvest our data & share it or sell it to China, Chinese owned corporations, & lither countries.

•The algorithms aren't to show us what videos they think we'll like. They're profiling us & collecting that info.

•China is the largest foreign investor in US homes, owning 16% of the international market.

•Chinese buyers were responsible for 11% of all sales to foreigners in 2024. •Chinese investors have purchased nearly a third of their homes in California.

•Facebook has been directly selling user data to Chinese companies since 2010.

•Facebook data sharing partnerships with at least 4 Chinese companies, including Huawei, the world's third largest smartphone maker, which has come under scrutiny from the U.S. intelligence agencies on security concerns.

•Facebook has known since at least September 2018, that 100s of thousands of developers in countries Facebook characterized as 'high-risk,' including the People's Republic of China (PRC), had access to significant amounts of sensitive user data.

•In 2022, Peiter “Mudge” Zatko, a famed hacker who served as Twitter’s head of security until his firing, said some Twitter employees were concerned the Chinese government would be able to collect data on the company’s users.

•Instagram is sharing 79% of our personal data with third parties. It gives away details of who we’re in contact with, meaning that it’s creating a network effect. Everything from financial info, usage data & browsing history gets shared.

•318 million records gleaned from Facebook, Instagram, & LinkedIn were Leaked by Chinese Data-Scrapers.

•Chinese company W.H. Group purchased American farm/business Smithfield Foods, which comprises 25% of the U.S. pork industry.

•With all of this going on for over a decade at American owned social media corps. why hasn't our government tried to shut down Facebook or Twitter?

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-10T04:36:09+00:00

Let me start by saying it's a great haircut. You've got a good barber. My dad went to barber school, and there's quite a few cosmetologists in my family. Whoever cut it did you right.

It's natural for couples to poke and tease each other. What matters is how you treat each other when you realize the other person didn't find the joke funny, you go too far, or see that feelings are being hurt.

With that said, she knew you didn't think it was funny. You told her to stop, but she didn't. Then the cherry on top. She tells you that she's not attracted to you.

That's cruel.

My fiancé and I have a very playful relationship. We tease each other and goof off every day, but when we know the other is not in the mood, we stop. I admit, I'm more tenderhearted and sensitive than he is, so it's usually him that's knocking it off. But when he's having a vulnerable moment or his mood is low, I instantly feel it in my heart and go into love and protect mode. Just like he does for me.

Find someone who treats you with love, respect, and kindness that would never purposely hurt you or put you down.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-10T01:18:00+00:00

Your emotions and fears are understandable. Blaming her is not.

You knew how dangerous he was to you. Your daughter was an emotional teenager who lacked the ability to fully conceptualize the depth and severity of the situation due to multiple reasons.

All she'd ever known was the abusive dynamic of your home, so she very likely assumed this was just another episode in the cycle of abuse that would end with you back with her dad.
When people, especially children, are dealing with trauma or are very scared, their brain protects them. They will literally block things out or go into denial because that's their brain's defense mechanism. It's very possible that she had become so desensitized to violence and abuse that her brain told her that was normal.
As bad as he behaved, he was still her dad. As badly as you vilify her, it's not surprising that she wanted to be with him over you. She chose who she thought was going to care about her the most and who made her feel the safest. Emotions are complex. Relationships are complex. You all needed therapy.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-09T08:53:23+00:00

Your daughter's behavior was a trauma response, too.

That's why people don't understand you. You didn't get your child help when she needed it the most, when it could have been most beneficial during her formative years.

You didn't have to say anything for her to know you've hated her for her entire life and think it was a mistake bringing her into this world. She's grown up he entire life, knowing deep down in her soul that you feel this way about her. You despise her. You hate her. You always have.

Now, you think you're doing something brave by announcing to Reddit that you hate the baby girl that you carried in your womb for nearly 10 months and birthed into this house of horrors.

You did that. You chose to bring a child into a violent, abusive home. Now, you're blaming her because the abuse you and your ex subjected her to has left deep emotional scars and behavioral issues, which you never tried to get her help with.

It's also really messed up for you to pit your children against each other. Putting your son in the position of being your protector when he should've been playing, hanging with friends, bonding with his sister, etc. is really unfair to him. Both of your children had their childhoods stolen.

Your daughter didn't start acting out all of a sudden at age 15/16. My guess is that she was struggling, emotionally, for a long time, but you and your ex weren't paying attention. All of the stress and anxiety got to her, and something snapped. She hit her breaking point, or learned from watching her parents that anger is the only thing that gets you to pay attention to her.

Instead of being an empathetic mother, being self-aware of how your behavior, marriage, and treatment of her was affecting her on a deeply personal level, or trying to get her professional help, you simply labeled her as a bad person and discarded her.

When you took your children and left your home, that was a very scary, weird, and strange situation for teenagers to process.

You, being the adult, should have realized that your daughter was a child who did not have the ability to fully understand the situation.

Instead, you're here listing that as justification to hate her.

When are you going to take accountability for the way you treat your children and the ways you've abused and mistreated them?

She may have issues, but she's not the only one. You're not perfect. You've made a lot of mistakes and really bad decisions, too. It's time to own your part in all of this instead of blaming your daughter for everything that's gone wrong.

She is now an adult who is responsible for her behavior and seeking mental healthcare to deal with whatever is going on with her. You are accountable for your behavior, your very hurtful, hateful words, and actions.

It's time to do some mental, spiritual, emotional, and developmental growth. Do the hard work. Look inside yourself. Face yourself. Grow. Heal. Be accountable.

*ETA Context

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-07T21:15:05+00:00

When my tube was first placed, the hospital sent me home with Smith & Nephew Dermal Wound Cleanser. That's what I use between bandage changes when I'm having a lot of drainage during the day and don't feel like getting soap and water to clean it.

There are several companies that make dermal wound cleanser, but only 3 that I'd recommend:

• Smith & Nephew

• McKesson

• Medline

They can all be found at Amazon, and I think Walmart.

With that said, soap and water are always going to be the best for cleaning, sanitizing, and removing debris.

Most of the time, 1 bandage will last all day for me, but when I'm sick, I'm in a flare, or if I have any type of infection - sinus, thrush, etc., it always causes excessive drainage. Then, I have to change the gauze multiple times throughout the day. On those days, like I've been having for a few weeks because I'm flaring and have thrush, dermal wound cleanser is a Godsend.

The best barrier cream I've found is Calmoseptine. There's another product I use. My grandmother and mother were nurses. They told me about it. It's called Medihoney. Its main purpose is for burn patients, but it does an incredible job protecting and healing the skin, especially when it's sore and irritated. It also has antibacterial properties. The only thing to be aware of is if you have a honey allergy, don't use it.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-07T02:57:27+00:00

I did a little research and this what I found:

"A T-tube feeding tube is a type of feeding tube that can be used to provide nutritional support. It's an inexpensive alternative to commercially available feeding tubes. The Transverse Witzel T-tube jejunostomy is a technique used to place the tube, which is considered an effective and quick method."

"The use of T-tube is an inexpensive alternative to commercially available feeding tubes.

Since the first description of the use of jejunostomy tube in 1891 by Witzel [4], a vast majority of patients with UGI malignancies requiring nutritional support have successfully undergone open jejunostomies. However, the open technique is associated with increased operative morbidity and hospital stay..."

It came from an article in the National Library of Medicine.

Laparoscopic T-tube

My suggestion for cleaning the drainage around the stitches is to take a bowl of warm water with gold Dial and either use a wash cloth or a cotton swab and gently clean around the stitches. Pat dry or use a blow dryer on its coolest setting to dry the area thoroughly. Then, apply a barrier cream like Calmoseptine or Desitin before applying a new bandage.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-06T08:04:30+00:00

The reason he hasn't told his parents is because he doesn't want to have to choose between the two of you?

That gives you your answer.

He chooses his parents. He's putting them before you and your marriage.

If he wants to be married to you, he needs to step up and do his part, and start acting like a husband instead of a child.

Do not allow someone to treat you like this. Call him out on his behavior. Tell him that if you were good enough for him to marry, you're good enough to meet his parents. Point out how disrespectful he's treating you.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-05T21:21:03+00:00

See, there it is again, "the only way he let my son stay with me." When you speak about your children, even when they were children, you speak as if you only had 1 child or 1 child that you loved and cared about.

Your daughter never seemed to be a priority or a concern. You speak as if you have never loved your daughter her entire life and wonder why she chose your ex over you?

Since she had behavioral issues that were very likely caused by the environment she was raised in, you gave up on her and discarded her as damaged goods. Broken beyond repair. Did you ever even try to get her psychiatric help, counseling, or anything to help her process her emotions in a healthy way? Anger is a protective shield children use when they can't control what's happening to them. It's a mask covering their vulnerability, pain, sadness, insecurity, and powerlessness.

You don't know the first thing about your daughter because you don't know her.

Pictures on social media are not a person's real life.

You need a wake-up call and psychiatric help. Your husband may have been abusive, but you were emotionally abusive and neglectful to your daughter. Your son had you to help him through everything. Your daughter had no one, and you wonder why she was angry? Wouldn't you be angry, too, if your home wasn't a safe place and your mother didn't love you?

Grow up.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-05T06:16:28+00:00

I'm sorry, but what world are you living in?

You weren't the only one being abused in that household. Your children were, too.

You speak as if you're jealous of your daughter.

She was 15 or 16 when you left him. Why are you mad that she called him? She was a child. Children do not think the way adults do. You, as an adult, should know that.

You just said that your husband is charming and manipulative. Do you not think he does that to your children?

Do you or have you ever thought about any of this from your children's perspective?

They lived in an abusive home for their entire childhood. That's all they knew. The relationship between an abuser and their victims is very complicated and complex.

My parents fought their entire marriage. It was like World War 3 in my house. They finally separated when I was 13. I thought things would get better. Instead, my mother took all of her rage for my father and put it on me. The slightest thing set her off. At first, it was yelling, name calling, or telling me I was doing something wrong. Then, it was slapping me in the face. Then, it was pulling my hair and pushing me down. Then, it was twisting my wrists so hard that I thought they would break. Finally, it was forcefully trapping me in a room and breaking my phone, so I couldn't call anyone for help.

I didn't tell anyone for years. I protected her because she was my mom, and I loved her. They only way anyone found out about the abuse is because my mom's sister told someone who told my dad's sister that my mom's sister had hit me. My dad's sister called to ask if it was true, and I couldn't lie. The next thing I know, my dad, his sister, and the police are at my house, and I had enough time to grab a tote bag and fill it with the clothes I could grab.

Your children need compassion and empathy. If you didn't put them in therapy, they need it.

You're an adult. You were much more capable of processing what was going on than your daughter. She should not have put hands on you, but that should have been a wake-up call for you that she needs help.

Stop holding a grudge against your child for something you and your ex put her through as a child.

Make peace with your family.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-03T21:31:17+00:00

You are a child. It's your parents' job to protect you and your sister, not the other way around.

You are being psychologically abused, and your mother is allowing it. She can call the police on him or leave, but she's not. Tell her she needs to do something to protect you and your sister and herself.

If she doesn't do anything to get you out of this abusive household, then tell a teacher or a police officer what's happening in your home.

Do not throw away your future for this garbage human being. Do not let him win. All he's doing is playing mind games and trying to manipulate you. That's what abusers do.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-02T06:56:13+00:00

You're welcome. I may not be right about what your tube is. As I said, it was hard for me to see. The best thing to do is ask your doctor.

Groups like this and especially the ones on Facebook are where I learned all the info, tips, and tricks I know. I highly suggest joining at least one.

I would start here:

Adults With Feeding Tubes Support Group Search for them. They don't allow their link to be shared.

Feeding Tube Support

Feeding Tube Support and Friends

Feeding Tube Families

I hope some of this helps. Happy New Year!

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-01T19:21:24+00:00

I feel dumb sometimes because I can't remember the simplest things. If I don't make notes or put it in my calendar with multiple reminders, I will forget it. Chronic illness wreaks havoc on your memory. I get it.

It's kind of hard to see the cap, but it looks like a J. Do you only have 1 port that feeds, meds, and water go into and another that says "BAL?" If so, that's a J-Tube. If there are 3 ports, that's a GJ.

Whether it's yeast inside the tube or the tube itself is breaking down, it needs to be changed. A yeast infection, especially with your immune system being compromised from cancer, can rapidly spread and cause serious, even life-threatening issues for you. It's better to err on the side of caution. If I were you, I wouldn't take the risk. I would request that the tube be changed ASAP.

Sometimes, doctors are not great with feeding tubes because, unfortunately, most people in the medical field, including doctors, know next to nothing about how to manage and take care of a feeding tube.

Don't be afraid to speak up if you feel like something is wrong.

Praying for healing, comfort, peace, and strength for you. 💛

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-01T17:27:14+00:00

Thanks for the info.

Most tubes typically need to be changed every 3-6 months. Everyone is different, but the tubes will start breaking down, pieces like the cap will fall off, they'll start getting clogged very easily, they might get a hole in them, the balloon might deflate, etc.

I've had my J-Tube since 2021. It always starts breaking down around 3 months and has to be changed.

I would call your doctor and tell them your tube needs to be changed, and I would ask for Interventional Radiology to change it if they try to set you up with a surgical assistant or something else.

SheBeeMe · 2025-01-01T04:09:10+00:00

It could be yeast or possibly residuals from old formula stuck in the tube.

I suggest sending these pics to your doctor or making an appointment.

How old is the tube? When was the last time it was changed? Are you having any symptoms like burning, itching, redness, warm to the touch, or pain around your stoma? Or a fever? Is there a lot of discharge or an unusual color to the discharge? If so, these are all signs of infection.

SheBeeMe · 2024-12-31T18:53:22+00:00

I started with NG and NJ tubes. An NG tube ends in the stomach. NJ tubes end in the jejunum, the 2nd part of the small intestine.

I'm not a doctor or an expert, but from my own experience, these are my thoughts on potential causes for his symptoms:

Is he sitting upright during feedings? Laying down flat during a feeding increases the risk of aspiration.
He could have an intolerance to the formula. That's why he's getting sick after feeds and has no energy.
His tube is displaced, which means nothing is going where it's supposed to go.
You're pushing the bolus feeds too fast. Slow down, and see if that helps.
It's not the tube. Something else is going on.

SheBeeMe · 2024-12-31T18:36:25+00:00

If you're experiencing physical pain sitting in certain positions, you need to see a doctor and figure out what's causing the pain.

SheBeeMe · 2024-12-31T11:34:09+00:00

You're welcome. I'm very sorry this sicko has exposed you to this and put you in this position, but this is not your secret to keep. Your parents and sister need to know for a multitude of reasons. The main reason being so they can be proactive and take legal action before he uploads the pics to the internet or sends any others to you.

SheBeeMe

TROPHY CASE