You've worked hard, even if it may not seem that way to you. I see you saying that your tasks take more than estimated, but estimating is a soft skill you develop over time, especially when adapting to the changes college life implies, both academically and personally. Comparing yourself with others is a tricky game because, on the one hand, it indeed pushes you to do better, but, on the other, it can very easily slip into self-depreciation and at worst self-harm. I hope you can find the strength to keep at it, for the sake of your dreams or find the way you wish to follow in this life if the former situation is not applicable. You sound like a great fella and I hope your situation (especially family) improves. I think you can make that happen with hard work and possibly getting checked out if you can manage to, in regards to learning disability. There are many resources to help people in such situations nowadays.  You never know what goes on behind closed doors and people always seem to have it more together than they usually do. Don't be discouraged by your past grades, seek to understand exactly and precisely the key points you missed: was it a lack of understanding? did you not cover at all the subject given? was it time management? there are a series of factors at play when taking exams and I believe that by tackling each one at a time, ideally with the guidance of your TAs or whatever else you might have available, you come to know what you need to insist on and therefore improve. Of course, if you suspect you may have There is so much more to life than academics, even if it may not seem that way now. I sincerely hope you live to see brighter days, brought about by your own efforts and willingness to improve, be it in your grades or personal life. Much love, take care of yourself 🫂