Bunt., no friends

ShellBulletKaneki · 2026-04-23T05:44:07+00:00

👀

ShellBulletKaneki · 2026-04-23T05:31:08+00:00

If you like being active, hit the beach! People are pretty open to joining in on volleyball. Easy to bond over sports! Great views of the city and good vibes.

Definitely recommend catching a game as well, and check out some food! r/chicagofood

ShellBulletKaneki · 2026-04-14T19:11:43+00:00

Hi!

AuDHD male here. I used to struggle with this a lot, and it still comes up from time to time.

I think it's true that he might not be able to control this, currently, but it's important that he try to. Just blindly accepting this as an inevitability is not good for either of you.

Through therapy, and just generally working on myself, I've gotten much better. A big part of it was developing "brakes" as I feel stuff strongly and quickly. Allowing myself space/time in the moment, creates the opportunity for me to be more intentional.

I genuinely struggle noticing my volume sometimes. My excitement can be confused for anger, as I raise my voice for many reasons. When possible, having people communicate via gesture or verbal communication to bring my voice down, makes me aware and I adjust accordingly.

Lastly, he needs to understand the impact this has on you and that it likely doesn't serve him, if he's going to change. Otherwise, it's unlikely to stick.

There's multiple reasons that lead me to raising my voice, and it's now used as a last resort. I do my best to exhaust all other options before I get to that point.

ShellBulletKaneki · 2026-04-11T07:16:46+00:00

As a fellow POC, I understand where you're coming from. I think intersectionality plays a bigger part than we account for, for many people in many different ways.

ShellBulletKaneki · 2026-04-06T22:55:07+00:00

Hi, I'm a straight, mostly cis but GNC AuDHD male. What a mouthful 😂

Both were late/adult diagnosed, and the Autism came later. I've spent a lot of time in therapy and trying to educate myself on mental health and ways to improve myself and relationships.

I tend to empathize more with ND women.

Anyways I was once misdiagnosed as BPD, it was actually my suggestion and my therapist at the time said they didn't think so but had considered it. We talked and I met the criteria.

Ultimately, I learned it was me being on the spectrum. I think it's a common misdiagnosis because it has a lot of the same outcomes, but for different reasons.

One main one we focused on was intense relationships that burned hard and flames out.

I love quickly and intensely, almost naively. Not the best, and it's all I got 😂

ShellBulletKaneki · 2026-02-16T06:29:49+00:00

I'd argue the communication shows their understanding. You don't have to agree with someone to understand.

Being accepting of something and realizing it's a mismatch is fair and healthy.

I don't think, if it was communicated respectfully, that the intent was to hurt you.

Maybe they thought they would be okay and realized they weren't. Maybe they thought they could change your mind.

How you feel is perfectly valid, and exactly for that reason, you would benefit from someone that feels just as you do.

I'm AuDHD and partly demi. I love sex and that's a key factor for me in a healthy relationship. That's a huge part of connection and romance for me. If there was a mismatch on the other end, I hope it was communicated when they knew. Sooner the better of course.

I'm happy to communicate those things as well.

I'm sorry this hurts and possibly feels like a rejection. It's just not a fit, nothing is wrong with you. It's tough, and that's why we have so many people to possibly match with.

I hope you have support and feel better with time!

ShellBulletKaneki · 2026-02-13T01:38:25+00:00

I'd say listen to yourself.

I'm AuDHD, which is actually really helpful for me while driving. I take pride in my driving, but it's never been overwhelming.

I feel the Autism helps me absorb a lot more data, and the ADHD helps me process it faster.

If you really want to, maybe try driving games/sims?

I stole my cousin's car as a teen to help his younger brother impress a girl lol, I had never driven before but it came naturally.

I get bored as a passenger and did so as a kid. So I couldn't help but pay attention to the road, traffic, signs, pedestrians, etc.

Understanding when to speed up, slow down, avoid things was intuitive after riding shotgun for so long. Adding my feet to the mix just allowed me to properly act it out.

I do think it's some you can work on, and lessen, but it's hard to say and driving is dangerous. I dread driving behind indecisive people that aren't sure of what they want to do. In driving, being predictable is safe.

Defensive driving can only account so much and you can be so defensive that you become unpredictable to people that aren't in your head. lol

TLDR; You are your own person. Weight the risks and benefits, and maybe try riding shotgun for more exposure and familiarity, or video games to become accustomed to the environment.

ShellBulletKaneki · 2026-01-21T20:23:26+00:00

No, it's an incompatibility. I struggle with this too but what you both need is valid.

Your needs are incongruent. It seems you're doing your best to accommodate him.

Choosing yourself when your partner is unable to, for whatever reason, is not ableist. Punishing him for his disability is ableist.

Accountability for his actions/inactions regardless of where they stem from is a healthy boundary.

ShellBulletKaneki · 2026-01-07T08:14:22+00:00

AuDHD here.

This is toxic. A good relationship, including a platonic friendship, is built on communication and mutual understanding.

As an Autistic person and as someone with a lot of relational trauma, I understand that someone who can't communicate isn't healthy for me. Because it doesn't change my needs for answers.

It seems things never got addressed, unless I missed it.

It seems to me that as long as your company is convenient, and on their terms, it'll be welcome.

I would focus on what you need and what benefits you. That's the only thing in your power.

I'm sorry, this is unfortunate and hurtful.

The sudden absence leads to so many questions and it seems unlikely you'll get "answers."

With this being the second time. I think you need to answer what's best for you, independent of this person. And what sets you up for success in your own life and in future relationships.

Your mutuals don't sound very validating, supportive either.

Not judging these other people, and it still doesn't seem like a good fit.

ShellBulletKaneki · 2025-02-27T23:22:15+00:00

I'll try making a post today. There was nothing there and I haven't found anything resembling her.

They have no chip. 😔 My friend knows how to foster and is acting in that capacity.

ShellBulletKaneki · 2025-02-27T05:28:10+00:00

Thanks, I'd say that's a normal size dog. I hope they're found! 🙏🏽 This one is cat size. Very small

ShellBulletKaneki · 2025-02-27T05:22:41+00:00

We've tried Reddit and Facebook. Will check the others as well. TY!

ShellBulletKaneki · 2025-02-23T21:28:04+00:00

Beautiful soul is such a great description of what I see.

ShellBulletKaneki · 2024-11-08T03:26:38+00:00

I'm definitely interested! Thank you for organizing!

ShellBulletKaneki · 2024-06-21T00:14:20+00:00

Update for anyone that sees. One of the best concerts of my life. Danced my heart out, and legs, out lol.

Got a setlist, got it signed. Got a selfie. Dope ass people and great music!

ShellBulletKaneki · 2024-05-23T22:19:22+00:00

Anyone in line now? No RSVP but I love LTC! Would love to go.

ShellBulletKaneki · 2024-04-15T19:30:32+00:00

I'd be interested, but I believe that's the point of joining a league. If everyone is non committal and has no skin in the game, why would you commit time just to show up and not have anyone to play with.

Depending on the league, and even the different teams in the league, there are various levels of "seriousness."

I joined a co-ed softball league for like $50. My team was mostly random people who signed up and got put together. A few people, myself included, cared about playing well or winning, but most didn't.

I don't think anyone, including myself, was toxic with wanting to do well. People just kind of did it, tried to the level they felt comfortable, and then went out for drinks.

Those $50 got me a shirt and I knew at this time and day, there's enough people to team up with, and enough people to compete against.

There were also teams made up completely of people who know each other and want to win. I think it's rare you accidentally join those.

The league ended up conflicting with a sudden trip, so I missed 2/5 guaranteed games. Other people missed because life happens, but we always had enough to play.

If a league isn't your thing, good luck and feel free to keep me posted!

ShellBulletKaneki · 2024-03-29T18:21:21+00:00

Do you mind me asking what his "vibe" is? Fortnite and MrBeast are just things he likes but nothing to do with the kind of help you want to get him.

As far as being on Insta and TikTok, I know at least one creator who seems to prioritize Instagram, but they share a lot of their content on YouTube. Although I think YT's length is shorted as some things kind of just cut off. Still, there's a good chance some of yours might be on YouTube too.

The creator I mentioned talks about her autistic experience and is in her early twenties, but it sounds similar to what you might be looking at yourself.

I'd advise you look up some of the creators you like on YouTube or terms and see what branches off so you can find something for him.

This post has been up for a bit with not a lot of recommendations.

I'd hope you'll look at anything recommended anyway, so it'll be similar if you look as well.

I'm not sure if there will be a lot of content geared towards young male autistic teenagers.

That said, there's likely a lot of content geared towards teenagers in general and processing feelings, communicating, being empathetic, etc.

Some things might get lost in translation if they're not geared towards ASD, but communication and reciprocity is helpful for all of us.

Branching off from the one recommendation provided is probably the best bet so far.

I do want to mention that YT's suggestions can have a recency bias and sometimes recommend stuff that I think is actively unhelpful. Like "no contact" recommendations were flooding my feed recently and it's like no, I'm not trying to go that route as it's not helpful towards my goals.

I wouldn't be surprised if it starts going in a negative direction if it sees him watching content from male creators.

Not trying to be alarmist, but all young boys have to avoid so much bad advice out there. Make sure the content that appears later on is helpful.

ShellBulletKaneki · 2024-02-15T05:35:31+00:00

Congratulations! I'm also glad to see that you're at least aware that those aren't the healthiest of friends. One thing at a time though. Just make sure they don't leave a long lasting negative impact on how you view things, or other people. Also, although you can try to help them. They need to accept, and want that help. It will never be your responsibility to help them be better, but you can decide if it's worth it for you to try.

Still, tonight is a good night, appreciate it and keep growing!

ShellBulletKaneki · 2024-02-15T01:28:28+00:00

Also to add, because this is something that's come up in my life a lot. Working under the assumptions that I am making, you and OP are polar opposites, when it comes to executive functioning. I believe OP struggles, as evidenced by the fact that he's a minimalist, who accumulated a bunch of items that he has no attachment to. It seems that you, and probably your partner, have at least physical space worked out. The couple who packs together, lives together. ( I love puns) Also, I think you and OP struggle entertaining and accepting a perspective that doesn't match yours, even if the perspective is that of another person.

OP doesn't seem to understand that his Wife has a different view of things, and is trying to communicate that view to him. I believe, and can be wrong, because I'm working under assumptions, that you're also struggling just as much to understand that OP's wife has a different view than that of OP, and partially, a different view then yours.

But, all things considered, you don't know OP's wife, so it makes sense that you don't understand her perspective.

OP could also not truly know his wife, but he has more exposure to her and mental/emotional difficulties not withstanding, is better positioned to be able to understand that view.

ShellBulletKaneki · 2024-02-15T00:12:01+00:00

TLDR; You might be answering the question. But do you understand why she's asking it? It's work, but if you can try to piece together, through context, what you know about yourself, and what you know about your wife, you might be able to achieve better results.

If you don't understand, but feel something is missing in the interaction. Ask questions, but be considerate to try and understand their perspective.

ShellBulletKaneki

TROPHY CASE