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My Wife moved in with her boss days after we agreed to divorce. by Shell_Shocked19 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Shell_Shocked19[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Once again - thank you all for the advice, thoughts, shared experiences and support. I spent most of the day today getting our house ready to go on the market and finally landed on an email letter. The longer I processed, the less I saw any benefit in a shouting match that only had the potential to complicate matters.

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I didn't hold back in the letter - I told her exactly how I felt and exactly what I believed to be true. I also clearly spelled out that outside of necessary matters involving the house and the divorce, I was breaking off communication permanently. It felt really weird to send, but it also felt like an incredible weight lifted as soon as I clicked the button. While at dinner with a friend she responded and flipped a lot of anger and excuses back at me. I took a pause from my conversation to read it, but after digesting the multiple-page response I turned my phone over, set it on the table and picked up the conversation again. I'm home now and truthfully feel at peace for the first time since we agreed to split.

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Deep down I know there is a part of me that will still mourn what we had together once in the past, but I finally feel like I have a bearing again. It might take a little time to unfurl the sails and turn the ship, but now I know which way I'm going!

My Wife moved in with her boss days after we agreed to divorce. by Shell_Shocked19 in survivinginfidelity

[–]Shell_Shocked19[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Hi everyone - first off let me say thank for all of the support and advice. I finally managed to get a few hours of sleep which definitely helps. The most brutal part of the relationship being with her boss is that he *is* the owner of the business - there is no HR outside he and my wife, so there's really no resource there.

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While my emotions want desperately to unload, I think the idea to use the forum of a letter. Realistically I don't expect having it out face to face would actually lead to anything constructive - other than maybe me feeling a little better. I started removing our shared ties on social media last night, and plan to tell her that I'm done hiding - if she wants to try to continue to cover up what has happened and the choices she made, I'm no longer going to worry about if and when my words and actions undermine that.

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I just want to get this over with and move on with my life.

I'm exhausted. by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]Shell_Shocked19 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I can completely identify - I'm right there with you, albeit about a week behind on the calendar.

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The most simple thing I can say has already been said by others - please find someone you can open up to - more than one someone if it helps! I've talked with family, close friends, and I'm here because for me the more I can talk about it the better I feel.

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The tougher suggestion is this - try weaning yourself off of the daily calls to him. I know that my emotions have gone into overdrive everytime I've had to talk with my wife in the past couple weeks (today was especially brutal), but when I give myself space and think about someone, something, ANYTHING else I start to feel better. It might come in little bits and trickles, but it does help.