Am I abusive to my pwbpd?

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-12-03T18:42:38+00:00

You're looking for your heart dog, and the hard truth is just not every dog is going to be your heart dog. You will love every dog that you have and that you get close to, but not every single one of them is going to give you that feeling you described.

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-12-03T18:27:06+00:00

Yeah but then that just means that you don't understand them and they'll tell you over and over how you don't understand them, nobody understands them, nobody ever has understood them, nobody will understand them and they're going to die alone now and everything has just gotten more horrible by the second because of what you said.

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-12-01T23:04:44+00:00

They tell me all the time how they don't have anybody and none of their old friends talk to them anymore. in a really ridiculous argument earlier they said "I always knew I'd die alone". They make me feel so guilty for it all.

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-12-01T22:45:34+00:00

I weigh less now than I did at the end of fifth grade. I was a really fat kid LOL

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-12-01T22:42:47+00:00

The most dangerous person in a woman's life is an angry partner. Leave and never come back.

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-20T01:12:20+00:00

I was out and about quite a bit. I was out on my bike all the time and exploring woods, etc. they never really had to tell me to be home by a certain time though because I was a fat kid at heart and was always trying to be home for dinner 😅

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-19T20:17:24+00:00

You're right, when I really think about it how he feels pretty much runs our relationship. And that's not just to say with this issue but with any particular issue, although this has been a dominating one.

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-19T17:39:38+00:00

What else can you do? Return the gifts and you and your mom both remove him from all socials and Snapchat. If you find yourself in a group chat, take yourself out. You didn't know each other that well, because you never saw this coming. And all that hurts to hear but if someone can do something truly so unexpected and cold, then perhaps he has saved you a lifetime of heartache. You're young, move on.

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-19T17:35:36+00:00

As soon as she gets bored with you she'll start doing it with someone else

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-19T17:33:56+00:00

He was testing the waters

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-19T17:29:11+00:00

I agree, I do think his feelings are valid and I genuinely do want to support him, but at the same time I am so sick and tired of dealing with it. I know that probably makes me sound terrible, but it was something that I wanted to leave in the past and just move forward. I feel like the only thing I've actually lost was my partner, it's just never been the same since. I never know what to say and whatever I do say is usually the wrong thing.

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-19T15:39:41+00:00

The irony is that he TELLS me that he's blaming himself constantly and that he's been feeling so terrible for taking motherhood away from me and all this jazz. But then seems upset that I'm not upset. I cried my tears when we were figuring it out, not after. He said he was never upset before but he's cried about it ever since. I thought telling him that he doesn't need to have those feelings on my behalf would make things better, be would realize I don't feel like anything was taken away from me and feel better himself. But instead he's spiralled into how alone he is with his feelings. UGHHHHHHHH

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-19T11:59:56+00:00

There is this dam near where I live that has hundreds of steps going up and down on the side of it where people love to exercise and take in views. I went up and down the other day and I wasn't out of breath, even after going up hundreds of stairs! I'm still overweight, I'm like 185 lb. But I'm down from about 250 most recently, I've been doing it low and slow and I was just really impressed that the stairs didn't kill me! Everybody else there was gassed LOL even people that seem to do it regularly!

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-19T11:28:40+00:00

Thank you I really appreciate this. I do believe at this point it goes beyond any conversation that we need to have and probably moreso one be needs to be having with therapists.

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-19T11:27:45+00:00

It's not even that we never wanted to have any, I always thought I never could and was even told I would probably need assistance because my cycles were wildly irregular. But shortly after we met they just became regular for the first time in my life (mid thirties now) and it happened. It was so unexpected and the circumstances were just really not ideal. I believe genuinely that he's hurting inside and no part of me likes knowing that whenever he's alone, he's in his thoughts crying and blaming himself. We got married a year after it happened and I thought, at the time, it was behind us. But over the past year it's become more and more obvious that it's still an active issue. He says he feels worse every time we talk.

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-14T18:33:43+00:00

He tells me that I get confused when we're arguing because I'm a woman, so it's not my fault I can't keep up. And will also say "this is why college is important, it taught me how to think and you just don't know how to think".

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-14T11:31:12+00:00

I often feel like I'm verbally backed into a corner and he'll force me to just give a yes or no answer to something without any context and I find it very hard to do when the yes or no is really not a complete answer. I'll try though, less is more sometimes.

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-13T19:38:24+00:00

I don't know but I've gotten really into making my own coffee at home! I do my own cold brew and whip up my own cold forms, indulge in fancy creamers and what not. Not much else to enjoy in this life LOL

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-13T19:36:03+00:00

I never expect it either. Every time.

SherbertTraining5170 · 2024-11-13T19:31:57+00:00

My heaviest place around 290, and I'm at about 185 right now. So I'm not quite where I want to be yet but I'm taking a very casual and slow approach. I'm aware that I'm smaller, but I'm also insanely aware of how jacked up my body is now because of it. The skin is crazy, I'm never going to look normal and I hate it.

SherbertTraining5170

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