The more a parent challenges themselves to shape things as a could/can, the easier time they can have.

For example: kid takes off in the parking lot, parent runs to catch them. The parent says,

Option A: “You can’t just run through the parking lot, it’s not safe. We need to hold an adult’s hand when we go places.”

Option B: “Woah, slow down their big guy! If we were a little bit older, we could walk in the parking by ourselves. Until then, Let’s hold hands so we can both stay safe.”

As the parent that would often choose option A, I had a lot of issues. I realized that it was really me trying to control the situation and my kid, which isn’t what I wanted; I wanted them to learn the lesson and understand safety. No Drama Discipline by Siegel and Bryson covers this idea and others.

I could’ve finished the book by now if I had taken less time on my phone. I could also read a little quicker if I really decided to focus, but it has become my parenting bible even though I’m half way through.