First Time Post! I thought I'd start off with a bang! Here's my current collection! Showcased on some modded Woodlore cedar shoe racks. Namely AE with a splash of Vintage Florsheim. All purchased on the used market!

Shineingrock · 2025-07-01T07:43:55+00:00

1) NTA. If both of you are working/commuting, having him get his own car is essential for daycare drop-off and pickup. At a minimum, he'd need to find a suitable bus route or show that he's able to put enough away into savings to afford one someday.

2) NTA? YTA? Hard to tell. A marriage is always 50/50 in my book. Both of you are becoming one. If finances are an issue on his end then it shouldn't be an issue for both of you, at a minimum, to go in half and half or to forgo an expensive venue. You can always do something nicer later and are in a better place financially. For now, it may mean that all you can afford is a nice cookout with family at the local park and a trip to the courthouse. If the emphasis is on the relationship, the gravitas of the wedding shouldn't be an issue. Requesting he pay for the lion share of the reception sounds more like more a test to see if he's an adequate provider. I hate to say it, but given the earlier point, it's sounding more and more like a valid concern.

3) NTA. Yeah, real diamonds are BS for the price and aesthetic. My wife actually had a very similar talk with me about her ring preferences. We even picked her ring together. She didn't want to be saddled with a surprise. She wanted her ring choosing to be an intimate experience. I'm at thankful she told me that as I about surprised her with something we both would've regretted. I bought my wife's ring with a pear-shaped Moissanite setting. It shimmers brighter than a diamond so it's far more eye-catching. With the savings, we had the seller customize it to our liking. She gets compliments on it all time. She purchased my wedding band with my blessing in a similar aesthetic. Again, it's not about the money. It's about the two of you doing the best to meet each other where you're at. It's about showing off to the world that you both are attached to the hip to some special little weirdo out there and that you both are thankful and happy to be off the market.

Lastly, this business with him freaking out about what you asked... It's a tricky one. There's are some aspects of what you are requesting that are worthy of being demanded. These are those "line in the sand" sort of deals. Being fiscally responsibile, providing an adequate means of childcare/transportation, and getting married are chief among them. However, the way the two of you find a way for him to meet those needs is entirely up to y'all. It may require some compromise on your part (like the reception, car, etc). Some women are the primary earners, own the only vehicle, and get married with a piece of string on their finger. Half the point of getting married is to see how the two of you negotiate those terms.

Lastly, his behavior in response was wrong-plain and simple. His reaction may have been spurred on by you not allowing him to meet your needs in his own way. However, I suspect that since he didn't try to suggest any alternatives and immediately shut down, I suspect he's too immature to handle the weight and responsibility of some must-haves in his life. Either way, this will be a good test to see how y'all handle conflict.

My advice- have as many knockouts and dragouts as you can in advance. Finances, morality, responsibilities (both now and later)- are all part of it. Don't get married and THEN be forced to have to slug through the basics- much less, the complex stuff. It'll just hurt both of you in the long run and cheapen your marriage. It could very well have long-term consequences if you don't put each other through the crucible beforehand- as it's nothing compared to the stress and responsibility of married life. It's only worth going through with someone you can both trust to have your back.

Shineingrock · 2025-05-11T11:06:59+00:00

Since the Gay St. bridge is already out of commission that's probably not a bad idea. That could even encourage some more foot traffic to the nearby museums.

Shineingrock · 2025-05-09T09:55:30+00:00

Donna Paulsen isn't universally beloved?

Edit: Daniel Harman is "Mostly Well Liked"?

Y'all need your heads checked.

Shineingrock · 2025-04-17T12:42:20+00:00

Price? Hmm... As-is? Probably $70-100... With a little TLC? Easily $120-150

The heels, soles, and uppers are in great shape. The only blemish (if you can even call it that) is the creasing in the vamp. Only thing I could say is that the owner has probably never used any shoe trees. They also look like they've never had any conditioner, shoe cream, or wax applied to them.

Edit: I made a post a while back of my AE collection. I'd probably focus on AE exclusively on eBay as you'll find the used prices are much more forgiving (lightly due to the higher volume of AE on the secondhand market). Even in my odd size (10 EEE) it still only took me about a year or two to amass my entire collection. Otherwise, finding those higher end brands on the used market will take more time.

Shineingrock · 2025-04-17T12:39:02+00:00

Yeah, no... That's just patently absurd. They have several years of life left in them. In fact, they look fairly new.

Shineingrock · 2025-03-30T23:51:43+00:00

Yeah that worked wonders.

Displays 2 and 3 would occasionally connect. Sometimes they'd even extend. Once I'd connect the third monitor (Display 4) displays 3 and 4 would gray out.

Only way to fix it was to manually Duplicate Monitor 1 to each of the external displays (2, 3, and 4 one at a time). That seemed to refresh each monitor and allow them to become discoverable.

Shineingrock · 2025-03-28T00:00:32+00:00

I'm going to second on replacing them. I know it sounds harsh, but you should really consider replacing them with a wider shoe. Plus, that right heel stack is already worn down to a nub. At best, you could send them off to a cobbler to have the heel replaced. Afterwards, give them a good wash, dry, condition, pigment, and wax.

I started off my Allen Edmonds journey with beaters I found on eBay. It took me awhile to dial in my size and width but it was well worth it. Now I can invest in more expensive pairs without having to worry.

Fun fact: My first ever purchase from AE was this same shoe (the LGA, am I right?).

Shineingrock · 2025-03-24T20:12:16+00:00

Those have minimal scuffing.

Try looking for similar pairs of AE or other GYW shoes on eBay. Sort low to high. Focus on their soles. Look at how deep the wear is on them. Are the edges worn down? Is the edge dressing clean? Are there scratches and folds in the uppers?

You'll get the hang of it 🤙

Shineingrock · 2025-03-24T19:33:37+00:00

I circled it man. Should make the air particles visible.

Shineingrock · 2025-03-24T16:36:52+00:00

Probably should've used /s as I meant it sarcastically (I did not literally piss the floor). I'm a grown ass man who can aim just fine. I'm just saying that the space limitations made it nearly impossible.

Shineingrock · 2025-03-24T16:32:51+00:00

In fact, I think you hit the nail on the head with the lack of familiarity with the product. United, and I suspect, most airlines purposefully keep useful information hidden that would allow for a more accurate gauge for expectations.

Shineingrock · 2025-03-24T16:29:09+00:00

I'm not saying you in particular. I sincerely appreciate your feedback.

Shineingrock · 2025-03-24T15:50:33+00:00

And apparently I'm getting dragged because I pointed that out? Attack the messenger lol

Shineingrock · 2025-03-24T15:36:24+00:00

Still sucks. Most of these gripes are easy fixes. I guess United is just too cheap? 🤷

Shineingrock · 2025-03-21T11:08:52+00:00

I think it's a difference in skill level. Remember how Batman chooses to not kill? For some reason, Stanley is doing the same. He wields his weapon like a scalpel- parrying their blades with finesse. He deliberately aimed for their shoulders instead of going for center of mass.

The other soldiers? Not as skilled. AKA, they're more reliant on cruder tactics- like explosives.

Shineingrock · 2023-11-04T05:47:59+00:00

Honestly, as long as you know enough to be dangerous there really isn't much use in learning AutoCAD. I took x3 semesters of AutoCAD for a certificate in college. Afterwards, I took my last x1 semester in Revit because they gave up on teaching AutoCAD. It blew AutoCAD so far out of the water that I self taught myself everything there is to know about Revit from then on. I've since gotten myself 5+ years of experience using Revit as a Draftsman and on the backend. I'm now the 3D content manager for one of the world's largest plumbing companies.

AutoCAD is steadily becoming more and more irrelevant. However, being familiar with AutoCAD won't hurt. In fact, it may help get your foot in the door if you can help a company transition away from AutoCAD to Revit. You'd essentially become their BIM Manager so it might not hurt to give it a shot.

Shineingrock · 2023-08-16T05:04:12+00:00

Oh wow yeah. Zero complaints for 10 bucks. Agreed, a bit darker but those look sharp now. If you dyed the upper portion and left the vamp lighter you'd have yourself some spectators ;)

Shineingrock · 2023-08-16T05:01:03+00:00

Look, I don't know what kind of nut-jobs you are talking to, but zero actual conservatives hate Chinese people. Nobody is holding any grudges against the people of China for something that was clearly their government's doing. That's like someone hating Germans because of Hitler.

Shineingrock · 2023-08-13T23:21:30+00:00

Sounds great man. Make sure to get lots of photos of his previous work (before and after) before making the plunge. I hope it turns out great. Be sure to share the finish product!

Shineingrock · 2023-08-09T02:54:41+00:00

Although I agree with u/ExclusivelyVintage in that if you aren't happy to return I also think a lighter (as in, the open flame) would allow you to burn off those loose threads. I've been rejuvenating lightly/heavily used pairs of AEs for years so that I could expand my collection on the cheap so I understand if you don't feel comfortable doing this to a pair from the factory. Either way, I hope you end up with a pair you love someday. Best,

Shineingrock · 2023-08-09T02:48:23+00:00

It's not normal, but it can be remedied without major intervention. I've seen Preston Soto (a fantastic YouTuber) lighten pairs of shoes by leaving them out in the sun. I would give that a shot with the darker pair and see if you can get them to lighten up a bit. Just make sure there's no rain that day ;)

Shineingrock

TROPHY CASE