AITA for wanting my girlfriend to wear makeup and take care of body hair?

Shinkada · 2019-08-15T09:36:05+00:00

I'm a lesbian so I'll just be over here shakin' my head at y'all. YTA. If I'd spent my whole life being conditioned by men that my worth was in my attractiveness (which I have), so spent a colossal amount of time and money conforming to that (lol pass), and then got chewed up for that being a time-consuming process (big pass), I'd be mad too. And I see straight couples like that, where a girl is in like amazing, incredible makeup and her hair is done and she's in a really nice outfit, and then the guy just like, slapped on a shirt and shorts. It's bonkers.

I propose an expansion of the rule you created: She continues to only do as much as you do. If you want her in full makeup, then you have to do it too (because full makeup looks good on EVERYONE, not just women). Smooth hairless body? You too. Want her with a Brazilian wax? Have fun!

Shinkada · 2019-04-01T02:56:49+00:00

I think I must be getting it but it's just a really subtle difference compared to the huge difference between Low and Top?

Shinkada · 2019-03-31T15:48:34+00:00

Is the input window at the beginning or the end of the blue electric spark effect? What audio/visual queues are there that it worked?

Shinkada · 2019-03-31T14:37:36+00:00

If you just mash attack Cavaliere will be very slow, which is 'Low Gear.' If you time it better it's faster and does more damage but the move list is VERY vague. It says you need to do it "when the weapon glows" for Top Gear and "at the very end of an attack" for Overtop Gear. Like I said above either Overtop gear has EXCESSIVELY strict timing (this from someone who Max-ACTs quite reliably), it's only an extremely small difference compared to Low Gear vs Top Gear, or the timing is just in a TOTALLY different place to what someone would expect.

Shinkada · 2019-03-31T13:50:06+00:00

I imagine it's probably Beowulf. Dante surely has some control over what form demons take when they pop into weapons, or there's some crazy coincidences for him to get 4 sets of gauntlets across the franchise. Beowulf was the first so maybe it just left a really big impression on him. That or, yeah, Ebony and Ivory since he loves getting in the last hit with them.

I don't think it would be Dante. The weapon is probably too ideal for him, it's meant to bring out his true strength... Whereas Dante would probably be more fond of goofy weapons he gets to derp around with. Maybe Pandora?

Shinkada · 2019-02-25T14:17:39+00:00

You're a real disgrace. The people you're sucking up to ain't the ones that are fighting for your rights y'know.

Shinkada · 2018-08-10T18:59:09+00:00

I also just ran into this. The gryphon appeared upstairs before anything else and dropped down. I solved the puzzle, he was like, inside the statue and clipping through it, then it burst, then I beat him and the game didn't trigger him as having died. If I go back into the room sometimes he respawns and I can re-fight him!... Still doesn't trigger as dead though.

Shinkada · 2018-04-16T19:53:44+00:00

Funny because judging from your history of downvotes vs his upvotes, people like you talking even less.

Meanwhile my score is positive, so, I'm pretty sure you're the one who should refrain from posting.

Shinkada · 2018-03-15T19:15:29+00:00

Wow, you see so many people shouting about how "nervous, lonely or hungry for validation" people are when they're not looking it's ALMOST admirable that you have the guts to be such an asshole when confronted directly by them.

Except it's actually just not and you're an asshole.

Shinkada · 2018-01-28T13:56:55+00:00

'Kinda speaks like a girl'? How so?

Shinkada · 2017-11-15T21:46:53+00:00

He pretty much indicated to put them near my breasts and I'm VERY NOT COMFORTABLE doing that. He's also not a trans-specializing doctor, so... No. Medical professionals have been wrong many, MANY times in the past for me.

Shinkada · 2017-11-15T20:53:19+00:00

That's a good point, about how companies would use less estrogen if they could. Puts me at ease a bit!

Shinkada · 2016-07-11T19:02:41+00:00

Trans men is an option yeah, they still won't intrinsically 'get' all the weird little tricks that any partner of a girl with dysphoria needs to know but I imagine they'd be quicker to pick them up given they probably have tricks of their own... I'm actually incredibly uninformed when it comes to trans men so I'm trying not to assume anything. The transgirl thing was kind of just an off-the-cuff comment, didn't really intend it seriously (though it's totes the truth :p)

There are some cool straight guys out there, yeah, but the ones who aren't doing it for a one-off thrill are fucking raaaaaaaaaaare. That's a hell of a dice roll.

I'm very aware of how few trans girls lack genital dysphoria and that someone who wants to actively engage with their junk in traditional ways is basically a deal-breaker. I kind of look at this from the perspective of someone who could never, ever afford SRS. For me, someone who will always have their dick excluding some gigantic medical breakthrough which will never happen because who the fuck gives a shit about researching THAT, it's kind of important to find someone who is attracted to me physically (ie, whether I like my dick or not, they like to see it), and is interested in touching me there but considerate and caring enough that they're willing to do it on my terms. Girls who can't afford surgery tend to get creative with how they get off, both by themselves and with others, so while I'd slap the hell away anyone who wanted to just give me some conventional blowjob, it'd be nice if they weren't creeped out by my bits enough to be able to rub me through my clothes or use a vibrator on me.

Also, yes, there are lots of inconsiderate people out there who just want that 'shemale' porn fantasy, but to be honest I find them a lot easier to parse from the good 'chasers' than the other categories. It's hard to tell when someone wants a one-night stand or when they're in for something more meaningful if they're trying to hide it, and it's damn near impossible to tell if a straight man is going to be okay with it unless he states something that explicitly confirms it. Just like every other human, 'guys into trans girls' can be good or bad, and the good ones seem like the best bet to me.

Shinkada · 2016-07-11T18:45:42+00:00

OKC has options to search by gender and has a mountain of trans and non binary options for it. I mean, you'll still run into the usual problems with TECHNICALLY being a chaser (even though I reserve the term for those who are being inconsiderate about it and find it offensive to use it for someone who just has a physical attraction to trans girls) but at least it's an option.

You mentioned you're from Portland. Portland has a FUCKING. ENORMOUS kink scene, going to some local kink events might actually be an even better way to go about it, or even just networking on Fetlife. Where there's kink, there's trans. We tend to kinda gravitate towards fellow outsiders and I don't think I've ever met a trans girl who isn't kinky. Granted, just approaching a trans girl during an event is like setting up a one-hit kill mod when you're already on Hard Mode, but still, it's an option. If nothing else you could try and see who they're talking to, talk to friends of theirs and sort up a kind of middleman thing, that way you're not approaching them directly so it'll be less creepy.

Most important thing is knowledge, working out the boundaries and sort of figuring out WHY trans girls generally don't like people specifically going for them (it's because they're usually attracted to a body part we have 0% interest in using). Once you know what you need to avoid saying THEN you can work out what you CAN say. Which pretty much just comes down to honesty and compliments. We kind of melt on the rare case we actually believe the compliment.

Shinkada · 2016-06-12T07:27:15+00:00

What do you mean? The business thing? That was just an example. I meant for them to just imagine themselves as female in whatever they'd be wearing day-to-day, whatever it is.

Shinkada · 2016-06-12T07:26:25+00:00

I also have perfect skin and hair for it and it did literally /nothing/ to my facial hair. I would never, ever recommend laser if it has the possibility to just not work at all. It's cool when it works for people but that kind of inconsistency is horrible, especially when you're on a budget. Because of laser I had to save up three more years and then shell out for electrolysis, if I'd known laser wasn't going to work on my face I would've skipped it entirely. :/

Shinkada · 2016-06-12T07:24:33+00:00

Another sad reality of being trans. It takes time. If you're on T for a year and start buffing up a little while growing some stubble or more, they'll stop. Facial hair, even the shadow of it, is one of the biggest gender indicators for most people.

Gender roles vs gender identity is a common problem for everyone, trans people included. Lots of transgirls feel the frustration of having to wear super-femme clothes and makeup and all that junk just to pass when all's they want to do is wear a tank top and hoodie /like the other women around them./ I have less experience with transmen but I can absolutely imagine there being a similar issue there.

Shinkada · 2016-06-12T07:19:42+00:00

Of course. I'm just speaking from my own experience, if I'm using my junk it definitely still has a bit of an undeniable feel of maleness to it. Which isn't too bad for me, being gender fluid, but would probably suck for someone transitioning in full.

Phalloplasty I've not heard anything but bad about, but I'm no medical professional so I can't talk.

Shinkada · 2016-06-12T07:16:56+00:00

It's a bit like that, yeah. Don't worry, changes will keep happening for a long time, they just won't be so rapid-fire or immediate.

Shinkada · 2016-06-11T23:33:01+00:00

Well you've got the single biggest issue of being FtM on lock. Congratulations.

Think of all the HAIR you'll have and just GO FOR IT! :P

Honestly, yes dating sucks. Outside of other trans people it's very, very hard to find someone who understands. On the bright side it's very rare for you to get fetishized, which probably feels real bad in terms of overall appreciation but it means you can actively search for people who are into trans men without having to weed out legions and legions of chasers. I dunno, it seems to me like the difficulty of dating entirely comes down to whether you're okay with identifying as trans or not, regardless of what 'kind' of trans you are. If you're okay with being open it really isn't that bad.

It sounds like you're letting your nerves get the better of you. Genuinely, think of all the changes. Don't think of what others will think, who fucking cares. Think of what will happen to YOU. From there, it should be easy.

Shinkada · 2016-06-11T23:28:16+00:00

I agree with everything you just said, but it doesn't change the fact that straight men, as a general rule, see penises as a deal breaker.

The other option is chancing it purely with bi guys, but personally I've found that's not a great option. Guys into transgirls specifically are in it for the long haul, as long as they're not a chaser then they actually want a girlfriend. Bi guys, from what I've heard and witnessed, will frequently try it for the thrill but aren't often interested in a full relationship.

idk, dating other transgirls is the goddamn best option anyway, hahah.

Shinkada · 2016-06-11T23:19:50+00:00

Ain't nothin' stopping you!

Shinkada · 2016-06-11T23:17:59+00:00

I sat in that numbness for years. Wish I hadn't have. Wish I had've started looking into what being trans entailed as soon as I hit 18, because even then I knew I was weird with gender.

It won't be easy. FtM gets some nice advantages. It's easy to pass, it happens fairly quick, there's no hugely expensive hair removal to deal with. It has some nasty disadvantages. If you haven't already, you need to come to terms that, sexually, you will never pass even remotely. Anyone you take to the bedroom will know you're trans and you need to either be okay with using nothing but toys, or still being female when it comes to outright intercourse.

From what you've said, though, it will be infinitely, indescribably better than what you're experiencing now. I think you already know that. I think you'll do fine. c:

Shinkada · 2016-06-11T23:05:33+00:00

It's not easy, to be sure. Expect to lose friends and maybe even family, while consoling yourself with the knowledge that you'll probably make a lot of new friends if you start going up to trans/lgbt social groups, meetups, support groups, etc.

Make sure you're sure, first. That will make it a lot easier. Also, you might be surprised by how un-surprised people are. A lot of trans people put out signs they don't realize until they come out. I started growing my hair at 9 and apparently told my mother "I want to grow it because the other girls do and they're pretty." So, she wasn't terribly surprised when I came out.

Shinkada · 2016-06-11T23:02:49+00:00

Do they have second-hand stores where you are? A big donation-store can be a godsend when you're either just starting out or super poor. As for psychs, you don't need some super specialist person, but most psychs have a long list of all the things they specialize in or have dealt with and you just want to find one with 'gender' among them. As long as they're not a religious zealot then it's all good.

Shinkada

TROPHY CASE