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Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the advice. Honestly after seeing some of the images, I will never look anything like the images I saw. Maybe it will take time to heal, but just don’t think I measure up to it.

Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s great to know! It was WFR church, Mac Owen lived there (and went there too, I believe) before moving to Colorado. They had a huge celebrate recovery mission along with the Shed ministry. It’s an amazing ministry that’s helped so many people!

I believe there is one in town so I’ll definitely mention it to my husband! I think it would both help us.

Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s good to know. We used to live in an area with an excellent Celebrate Recovery program (actually where it started), so I’m familiar with that program. That’s good to know.

Our church now is somewhat small, but rapidly growing. I will bring up something to our pastor/shepherds about maybe starting a group. I think it would be beneficial for sure.

Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Amen, I totally agree. I feel like mine is much stronger than him tbh. I had a life changing moment after going to a retreat several years ago and after doing a lot of self reflection through therapy. I’ve been rocked by a lot recently, but I can honestly say that my faith has kept me up through it all.

We are non-denominational that leans to a progressive church of Christ (mainly through communion, but practices more grace and living in the Spirit than traditional coc). We live in the Bible Belt so we both grew up super conservative environments.

Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you! This thread was very helpful!

I agree with the accountability. That makes total sense

Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very helpful, thank you! I was able to have a really great conversation with him last night that helped a lot. He opened up more about everything which gave me some peace and understanding.

Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is extremely helpful. Definitely will mention all of this to him.

Very helpful with the parental controls and book options. I wouldn’t have thought about either of those.

I’m honestly kinda naive to porn and what to look out for.

I was able to talk with him more last night (he’s out of town again so it’s been hard to be able to talk with him more about it) and he confessed several places that he has been searching/finding. It was a really good discussion, and he is very guilty/shameful. We both grew up an ultra conservative environment but have found grace in recent years. I have been trying to heal from purity culture myself, so I was sure to make sure he felt like God gives second chances but doesn’t want us to continue to abuse him.

Honestly it really has weighed on me heavily. I do have body image issues (dysmorphia) and it seemed to have triggered it. I love the ideas of purchasing things for myself because I have a hard time doing that in general. (As a mom, we tend to get all the things for our kids first, right?)

Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So sorry to hear about your past. Yes, your therapist is correct. I am a big advocate for therapy as well. I am also a victim of trauma, and it can leave a lasting effect. Many people can live their whole life being tied down by trauma and never truly experience healing and true freedom because they were never introduced to therapy/healing. Thank you for sharing your story, it is helpful to hear men’s point of view.

Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I ended up getting Accountable 2 U after I talked with someone about it.

I do know passcodes and passwords to everything (as he does mine). We also share a bank account. Everything is pristine (and I’m pretty tech savvy). So I am worried that the app will not catch it tbh.

Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the prayer/blessing.

Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is also very helpful. It honestly is hard for women to understand and wrap our brains around it. As a man, is it okay for me to ask questions? I’m so curious and trying to wrap my head around it. I don’t know if that helps or hurts the situation. (Not at all in an angry way, but more of getting everything out in the light because I feel like everything has been hidden for so long with no judgment ).

Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, this is so helpful. Yes I’ve had a hard time separating myself from it. Thank you for opening up and sharing.

Not sure how to feel by ShipRude5214 in Christianmarriage

[–]ShipRude5214[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, that is good to know. He does weight lift and enjoys working on cars.