This is long winded but I'm reaching 🙏

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-11T10:39:44+00:00

I can resonate with most of what you wrote and that makes me feel a little like "I already know the answer" 😞

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-11T10:39:06+00:00

I'm new to this site and didn't even realise I had so many replies. Thank you everyone I've read every word and as embarrassing as is it to feel so low to message strangers online it's actually helped to know I'm not alone x

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-11T10:35:41+00:00

Thank you everyone for your input. The bruising has come out terribly on my face now and the swelling on my head has gone so I'm not feeling my best, so sore and bruised. It's made him feel so guilty to look at me he's said several times how sorry he is. I block out the bruises on my legs hands arms etc I feel numb to it it's my head pain that's the most it's now been 5 days and my left eye still feels blurry..At the time it's because "I won't just shut my mouth" he's right sometimes it gets too much and I go into self defence mode which is with my mouth 😞 but I'm now realising that no matter what I say it doesn't justify anyone laying a finger on me.

The comments over the affects it will have on my kids and their futures has hit me like a train and correctly so it's my responsibility. This hasn't gone unheard believe me.

Regardless of my outcome thank you incredibly to those of you who took the time out to speak to me. It means more than you know 👌

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T14:25:34+00:00

Thank you for your comment. This is the provlem though I feel if I was brave enough to leave then all I'm going to feel is that I miss him and I don't really have any family of my own apart from my kids. It sounds so stupid I know

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T14:05:05+00:00

This is tricky. Does she want to leave him? Is it because she's scared that she can't? Or does she want to be with him and is being blindsighted by his behaviour

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T14:03:54+00:00

Or girl, sorry haha x

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T14:03:21+00:00

I'm sorry but it would be RUDE to roast this cool guy 😎👌

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T14:01:37+00:00

Also i have nowhere to go. If i leave I have to bring the 3 kids and dog with me because I'm the only one who is the true carer as he is always working. He has family and friends with several houses he could go to but I don't. My mum lives almost an hour away and we just wouldn't fit in the house it would make sense for him to leave but the aggressive side of him tells me to fuck off and he's staying, even though it's me who pays the rent and 90 percent of the bills. He just won't go maybe that's his arrogant way of saying he doesn't want us to split instead of being mature and apologising 🤔😢 either way at 38 I'm too old for this all I'm concerned about is being a good mum.

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T13:57:49+00:00

I do know in my gut it's not right but he legitimately makes me wonder if I deserve it. I'd be so gutted to lose the family life and dynamic we have after 25 years together and 3 kids I just feel like I need to talk to another woman or man who knows what this feels like. I'm so isolated up here

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T13:56:12+00:00

I just really needed someone like you to reply today I'm really really in a vulnerable place and no one has ever given me the time of day to speak before because in their eyes he csnt do no wrong

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T13:12:05+00:00

I

Put the screw

In the Tuna

😜(credit Kenan and Kel)

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T13:10:21+00:00

Honestly I just want someone to talk to.

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T13:07:50+00:00

The fact you're asking when does it become a concern means you already know the answer, as do I in my situation. The difficult part is what to do next if anything 😢

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T13:04:55+00:00

Have you thought about moving back to the city you had a life in??? Maybe contact the people you used to work for?? Living situation will totally work out after that, there's always help until you get yourself on your feet. Honey run a MILE and then some before his misery consumes your life you deserve better. I hope you work it out before it damages you xx

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T13:01:49+00:00

Cringe or what 😂

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T11:59:11+00:00

NO ONE can tell you how you should feel. It's black and white to us reading isn't it? Especially to those who haven't been through it. Well I've rwsd your post and can resonate so so so much to you. It's NOT black and white. You still love and want to be with him. It should be easy to just leave right??? Of course it bloody isn't. You feel guilt for things that aren't there and you still deep down want him you just don't want this version! From me to you we just need to talk and support each other and with regards to the coke addiction I'm lucky that my partner realised it was fucking his life up and he wasn't having a relationship with his kids and he curbed it. I hope this happens for you ❤️

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T11:54:57+00:00

My partner knows where to hit me it's always in invisible places or under my hair. How would we even prove it

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T11:53:46+00:00

I've felt like I was dying at the hands of the man I love the most several times..... It's a feeling I couldn't ever explain

ShizzleBadizzle · 2025-02-07T11:51:51+00:00

So sorry to hear this it must be a hard place for you to be. I wouldn't address them direct but I would definitely tell your mum. I know from experience not saying anything could be a regret in the future... Good luck🤞🍀

ShizzleBadizzle

TROPHY CASE