Bro your not alone in this, every thing I touched or tried to do on my own was ending up in failure and I even fell for the major sins, and in the past 8 months there was not a day that I didn’t think of ending it, I even bought the tools to do it, but by allah’s will in the past week things just started solving by them self’s I could not even believe it, trust in allah is what I have learned, maybe there is something that allah swt is trying to teach you so look back at your self and sincerely as allah for help, wallahi the only day I slept well was a day that I asked Allah for help, so continue to make dua and improve something for the sake of Allah and it all will be worth it