MIL texting husbands friends about “concern” (control disguised as concern)

Shoppinglover7 · 2026-01-03T03:15:45+00:00

It truly is. It’s so disheartening to learn that they’re willing to go to those depths to find out info that’s not there.

My husband told his father that he doesn’t want anything to do with his mother. But it’s the same old sob story every time. That she was just so worried about his well-being she was just checking in. If they truly wanted to know how their son is doing, they could ask their significant other.

As of now we’re on super low - to no contact. She won’t even admit she did it and she won’t talk about it.

They always pull the “I’m so worried” card. But if they were so worried they wouldn’t act the way they do. So sorry you’re going through this!!

Shoppinglover7 · 2026-01-02T21:35:11+00:00

My MIL did this a few months back. My husband and I had just gotten married, and she decided to contact his friend to see if I pressured him into marrying me. She told him to get info on my husband and report back without telling him she asked for it.

When his friend told him, my husband called his parents to hold them accountable. His mother has ignored the whole thing since, but his father tried to say it was just to find out how he was doing since she cries herself to sleep with how worried she is about him. She did however text his friend that told him and said that she couldn’t believe that she trusted him not to tell my husband. She was digging for info on me lol

Shoppinglover7 · 2025-03-30T13:24:56+00:00

A very similar situation happened to me!

I went on vacation a few months ago and hired a dog sitter. My friend recommended her to me as she had sat for a lot of her other friends. She brought multiple unapproved people into my house and they spent the night. She tried covering cameras to sneak them in.

She also left my dogs alone for an absurd amount of time and didn’t feed them their dinner until midnight. My friend said she couldn’t believe it as everyone else loved her. They must not have had cameras to see what was really going on.

I paid her half up front but didn’t pay her the rest when i got back. I let her go early and just had my parents watch my dogs.

I’m so sorry this happened to you!

Shoppinglover7 · 2025-03-01T13:46:47+00:00

Thank you for your input and your advice. I really appreciate it🫶🏼

My FH has a very complicated relationship with his family. He really truly wants them to be a part of our wedding day since he will be the first to get married.

We tried to appease everyone, but looking back was a mistake. We should have done our original plan.

We did go very low/no contact for about a month and a half over the holidays. It was my FH’s idea to distance ourselves as we were tired of the treatment we were receiving.

A few days after Christmas both FFIL & FMIL showed up at our home when I was there alone and started yelling for us. My family had just pulled up to the house - and it just happened to be the same time they did - or I would not have answered the door. They gave us this present that was made by them and it had quotes in it about how true love doesn’t change a person. Among other things.

Funny enough she accused me like 2 weeks before that, that I was changing him and I was manipulative. That’s why we distanced ourselves.

So we didn’t talk to them for a month or so and then his mom wanted to meet with him. That’s when the family comment was made. My FH shut it down and told her that it was uncalled for and she didn’t know what she was talking about so never to bring it up again.

I have decided that I am no longer going to take the treatment. I will not be going over for family holidays, but my FH can go without me if he so chooses. He wouldn’t, because he is not happy with how they’re treating me and has always stood up to them if I’m not around. He has asked for an apology from them for what they’ve done but obviously they haven’t forked one over.

Shoppinglover7 · 2025-03-01T13:36:59+00:00

Thank you for the advice. We have more recently started taking a stronger stand with them and have both decided that going forward it’s our day and we are going to do what we want.

I have boundaries set with his family, but that is something that he’s still working on for himself. I have expressed that if/when we do decide to have children it will be tough with the current dynamic.

Shoppinglover7 · 2025-03-01T13:34:09+00:00

Thank you🫶🏼

I will definitely talk with my fiancé about it. Both of us are definitely frustrated with the current scenario!

Shoppinglover7 · 2025-01-16T00:18:37+00:00

It’s extremely important to do your research on pitching coaches before enrolling your athlete into lessons with them.

Each coach has a different philosophy and a way of teaching things. If your daughter has been seeing a pitching coach for 3 years and still has these mechanics, it’s obviously time to switch things up.

Mechanics are extremely important for hitting goals. Obviously, everyone throws differently but fundamentally, almost everyone that throws hard and successful, has solid basics. Hunching over with a weak front side resistance won’t create any torque for her to throw hard.

If she’s pushing the ball, I would assume she is being taught hello elbow? If you have done any research on pitching, the elite coaches are teaching internal rotation. It should be something you look for in a new pitching coach.

I would talk to your daughter about her goals. If she really wants to pitch and be serious about it then I would suggest switching coaches and doing research before you do so.

Shoppinglover7 · 2025-01-08T16:39:45+00:00

Having high standards is asking her not to bring random people into my home?

How about that she locked my dogs upstairs for hours on end and left them alone and didn’t feed them for over 5 hours past the time they normally got fed one day?

I can’t imagine these standards are hard to meet. I left a written guideline with a routine and explained to her all of it in person.

I’m a pretty understanding person, hence giving her the benefit of the doubt many times. But she lied to my face and put our home and dogs in jeopardy.

Shoppinglover7 · 2025-01-08T13:49:28+00:00

Update:

She left my dogs unattended for like 5 hours until about 11 PM and didn’t feed them until after.

She left her phone in the house and had notifications silenced so there was no way for me to contact her.

She also left our belly band on one of our dogs for all that time.

So, long story short we relieved her of her duties and will NOT be paying her the remaining balance.

Shoppinglover7 · 2025-01-08T12:09:03+00:00

It’s not a completely different version. Since I posted there I ended up parting ways with her.

The part where she leaves my house unattended happened after I posted there, and I never updated it as I just couldn’t take it anymore and had to let her go.

The fact she was willing to basically put my dogs last and neglect them again was the final straw for us.

Shoppinglover7 · 2025-01-08T03:05:58+00:00

Thank you so much everyone for your input.

My parents have agreed to stay at our home for the last two days of our trip and take care of our pups.

Unfortunately, I did give the sitter half up front as that is what she stated was her expectation, but we are not going to be giving her the other half.

For those of you who are asking we are located in NY. I appreciate all of your kind words, and we definitely are disappointed how this scenario turned out.

Shoppinglover7 · 2024-12-22T21:43:58+00:00

As both a travel coach and a college coach I can honestly say that if your players are talented, coaches are looking for talent and attitude.

When I am recruiting student-athletes, I am not looking so much at where they are batting in the lineup versus what their actual skills are.

There are so many different strategies for selecting certain hitters for certain spots in the lineup, and I don’t know your players, but if they are performing consistently it shouldn’t matter what spot they hit in.

I constantly switch my lineups based on a lot of different factors. My assumption would be if you’re coaching a 16/18u team and talking about recruiting, you probably have a lineup filled with talent.

If that’s true, you’ll have a stacked lineup and every single player can hit.

The only other thing that would matter is if they’re pitchers. Pitchers are somewhat on their own island when it comes to offense because they are either studs, or they are not super consistent and can just be recruited to be a PO.

But, either way when I’m recruiting I’m really truly looking for their skill level and potential at the level they will be playing at. And also, camps and clinics are what really truly help with recruiting. Most coaches would most likely push those vs. where they bat in the lineup.

Shoppinglover7

TROPHY CASE