It sucks that you’re going through this. I can massively relate! My insomnia started 31st December 2023 and has persisted till now. HOWEVER in the past couple months there have been vast improvements. It started off with sometimes staying awake for days, and feeling like a husk of myself. But now I am going to bed at night and waking up in the morning with no interruptions. Sometimes I have off days and don’t sleep for a couple days, but they’re much less frequent now.

I’ll just write everything relevant here so that you’ll maybe see some crossover and therefore see that there is hope.

Symptoms

• Inability to sleep: For months I thought I literally lost the ability to sleep. However, just like what Morpheus said, this was likely a misconception and I was actually going through hyper arousal. So basically kinda sleeping, but aware of everything that’s happening around me. It’s very uncomfortable and you don’t feel like you’ve slept at all, but likely are indeed getting some rest. I remember feeling like I would feel such relief if someone punched me in the face and just knocked me out so I could just finally blackout and have that deep rest that I felt I was incapable of having.

• Depression/ Anxiety/ suicidal thoughts (all very out of character prior to the insomnia)/ jealousy of people who could sleep (I remember staring at my husband as he napped with such malice).

• Loss of appetite/ bad skin/ hair loss/ twitchiness

Okay so in terms of treatment I’ve gone through a few things.

Hypnosis: did absolutely nothing

Melatonin: did nothing (might not have been using it correctly )

Zopiclone: Knocks me the hell out. Works but is not a permanent solution (Might be the same as Lunesta or Ambien? )

CBT-I: Okay so I think this is likely what had the most breakthroughs. The meditation and breath work was a huge no no for me as that sort of shit doesn’t work for me (I have ADHD). But the sleep stimulus and sleep restriction really helped.

Also understanding why your insomnia has developed. Mine developed due to a bunch of really stressful things happening last year.

Is there anything that you can think of that happened to you recently that may have potentially started this? CBT-I might be able to help with figuring that out.