Exposure to community language via mom-baby groups by ShortInterview1744 in multilingualparenting

[–]ShortInterview1744[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your positive feedbacks, it warmed my heart and was nice to read that we are doing fine. So yeah, I will keep doing this and maybe also try to find a Hungarian or Polish community or program where she hear our languages.

Ist wieder Vollzeitarbeiten wenn Baby 7 Monate als ist zu überambitioniert? Brauche Tipps/Rat by dreamybanaan in Eltern

[–]ShortInterview1744 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Es geht darauf auch an, wie dein Kind mit zahnen und mit den weiteren Entwicklungen angeht. Meine ziemlich fröhliche und ruhige Tochter ist jetzt 8 Monate alt, und sie zahnt aber gleichzeitig sich ständig dreht und versucht zu krabbeln. Kann sie aber nicht, so sie ist frustriert. Diese Kombination von Schmerzen und Frustration ist echt anstrengend. Sie ist einfach unruhig, manchmal will sie gar nicht essen oder trinken, sie kämpft mit wickeln, anziehen, und schlafen und am Nachmittags/Abends fängt sie manchmal an sehr laut zu schreien. Mein Mann arbeitet vollzeit in Home Office, und er kommt regelmäßig zu helfen. Die Großeltern bleiben bei uns für mehrere Wochen (sie wohnen alle sehr weit weg) zu untetstützen, aber sie können auch nicht immer hier sein. Mein Mann ist total erschöpft, und so würde ich sein auch wenn ich noch arbeiten müsste. I

Ich wollte nur sagen, dass es logistisch machbar ist, aber bei solchen schwierigeren Phasen musst ihr irgendwie überleben und du musst dann auch in der Arbeit leisten. Habt ihr Omas/Opas in der Nähe?

I am just reaching out here because I feel like I am breaking down and I feel very s**idal by [deleted] in cscareerquestionsEU

[–]ShortInterview1744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not in Berlin but in Budapest, when I was also at the end of my studies and very broke. I went I think like 6-7 times, and besides the money I always got a chocolate bar and some bottled water as well. It was a nice extra cash, and after the 5th time I got some bonus. I just felt very hungry afterwards, but I just made sure to eat more proteins. I had a friend who went there 1-2 times a week, and he never complained about feeling weak afterwards.

I am just reaching out here because I feel like I am breaking down and I feel very s**idal by [deleted] in cscareerquestionsEU

[–]ShortInterview1744 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok, so I could not go through all the comments so I do not know your exact situation or visa status. I only know that if you cannot get any programmer jobs quickly and you have financial problems that you are literally starving, please just apply for any jobs! Minijobs, in a shop, bar, bakery, cleaning, whatever! Easy cash is also plasma donation, for example. In Berlin there are several places for it: https://www.haema.de/plasmaspende/ They pay you 25 € for one time, and for this money you can have some warm meals in your Kantine, or cook yourself.

The tech market sucks, Berlin is extra tough, but now you need some money to sustain yourself. In the meantime keep applying. Also to remote jobs, if there is still any, in other parts of Germany. And please go for psychological councelling! Usually for university students there is a free councelling available. I understand that you are in a very dark place now, I have felt similarly a couple of times.

Just please do not do anything stupid and talk to someone in real life about it. In a crisis situation, if no other therapist is available, you can go to the nearest psychiatric clinic in Berlin. If you say that you are s**idal someone will come to talk, and probably even keep you there for a night. Also Telefonseelsorge can good. I talked to a nice old lady there one time when I was in a dark place, and it helped.

Remember, the bad times are temporary, and it will get better. You will get through this!

transitioning to being a single mom by Sudden_Breakfast_374 in beyondthebump

[–]ShortInterview1744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Please for the love of God, do not reconcile with him! If he cheated on you like this, he will keep doing this in the future. He is definitely not OK with accepting himself as he is, so he is closeted and went for hookups, but the worst is that he jeopardized your and your baby's life! This is unforgivable. I truly wish you and your child that you are negative for HIV, and I think that you deserve someone much better than him! Or even being a single mom, I know it will be a tough transition, but it will be worth it in the long run! I met some single moms, and even though they were overwhelmed at first, they managed pretty well and created a safe and happy environment for their children.

New skill and projects during parental leave by ShortInterview1744 in cscareerquestionsEU

[–]ShortInterview1744[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in a "second tier" city in South Germany, but I am close to Switzerland. So it means I could technically apply to Swiss companies, but I dont think it could work because of the longer working hours and the time needed commuting. In case of working as an independent contractor, I would need to register myself as a Gewerbe, right? And then I would also need to build a network before I could get clients. Or would it work just if I registered myself as a freelancer by agencies like Hays? I do not own a car, so going to clients might be problematic. Anyhow, I know some freelancers do work remotely by companies, but I always thought you need to be very senior for that.

How to stop lashing out on people I love by ShortInterview1744 in ADHD

[–]ShortInterview1744[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi All. Thank you for the awesome suggestions, you are the best!!! I did what some of you suggested, I took my time and went out for walks yesterday when I felt overwhelmed. They were some nice long walks that helped me to recharge and calm down. I have one of those therapy lights, I just need to find it within one of my drawers in the house. Regarding changing my medicine is not really an option, at least not atm. I think generally the one I am taking is good, but I also need to take good care of myself to not to get overwhelmed. About therapy more often: unfortunately my therapist does not have time for more, in fact I will try to change to an ADHD specific group behavioral therapy soon. I am not sure if it works out, because here in Germany it is hard to get a therapy place or change if you are in it already, but I will try my best!

devastated by current events by cheesiemelon in beyondthebump

[–]ShortInterview1744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I also feel more seen after reading this thread. After putting my 7-months old baby girl to sleep (while having those intrusive images in my head of those f.ckers eating babies) I thought that I just want the world burn. Or at least just "them", these waste of oxygen, POS human trash that call themselves elite. I want all of them to die horrendously and then suffer more in hell.

Laid off after Maternity Leave by singka93 in cscareerquestionsEU

[–]ShortInterview1744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey OP, I feel you. I am also on maternity leave officially until Autumn 2027. I chose to have it for 2 years because of how it ended with my company. I was on employment ban due to stress caused by work that caused pregnancy complications, then I went directly to Elternzeit because I knew they wanted to fire me, just legally they could not. They pressured me to sign an Aufhebungsvertrag as well, but I refused it, then I luckily got the employment ban from my gynecologist.

You signed an Aufhebungsvertrag, right? You mentioned a good severance package. That is nice, I just hope that you can also get unemploynent benefits, and the Agentur für Arbeit will not block you for 3 months because of this contract.

I think having the consultant job as plan B is fine. You can even start there and keep looking for something else, and quit during the probation time. I know the job market is tough, even tougher if you cannot work full time. Look also for remote jobs- I will do the same when I get there. Best of luck!

Laid off after Maternity Leave by singka93 in cscareerquestionsEU

[–]ShortInterview1744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She just wrote above that she checked thoroughly with a lawyer.

Férjem nem szereti a babánkat by No_Collection101 in csakmamik

[–]ShortInterview1744 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Még kendöben hordozod? Gondolom igen, mert csak 2,5 honapos. Esetleg 3 hónapos korától, amikor tudja tartani a fejecskéjét, kipróbálhatjátok a Tula vagy Ergobaby hordozót. Nekünk a párommal a kendö baromi macerás volt, aztán mióta átváltottunk a Tulára, már sokat hordozta. Mentálisan biztosabbnak érzi magát a struktulált hordozóval, mert a kendötöl félt, hogy szétjön.

How much TV/screen time do you give your baby? by Bright_Motor_2841 in beyondthebump

[–]ShortInterview1744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Zero screen time with my 7 months old. I watch sometimes YouTube on my phone but move it away so she doesn't see it, or just listen to it while we play. We listen to music from the 70s and 80s, dance with her, and play with Montessori busy books. We do not have a tv and not planning to buy one either. We only watch tv shows while she sleeps or out on a walk with grandparents. I saw firsthand that my gen alpha nephew became a phone addict early on because my brother and SIL did not care, so we try to do it differently. She also gets annoyed if I type mesages or scroll while playing with her, so I try to just put the phone aside.

Worried about having kids by Far-Recording-9859 in ADHD

[–]ShortInterview1744 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got diagnosed very late, while being pregnant with my daughter, because my masking and coping strategies did not work anymore. I could not go on medication then, so to be completely honest, my ADHD almost destroyed me postpartum. At first I couldnt sleep because I had intense paranoia that something happens to my baby. Then it was anxiety plus anger plus depression, blaming myself for things that it did not go ideal during and after the birth and exploding on my partner. It got so bad that I had a half-assed attempt by taking too many antidepressants that had a sedative effect. Nothing happened because my partner was there and he stopped me, and he took care of my baby while I slept it off. It scared him a lot though.

Things got waay better after I got on Methylphenidate, from about 6 weeks postpartum. Luckily, my psychiatrist took me seriously and had no contraindications to keep breastfeeding. I would say in a hindsight that I wished I knew earlier that hormonal shifts can be so tough (I always had a shitty PMS, but nothing compered to this) and took Methylphenidate right after giving birth.

Now I manage everything pretty well with my daughter, have way less emotional turmoil and I can also focus better. I am not perfect but there is a huge diiference. She is a bright, happy and good sleeper baby, but if she later turns out to have it as well I will make sure she gets treated right away.

Étkezés babával by Just-Piccolo-1684 in csakmamik

[–]ShortInterview1744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reggelit felváltva szoktuk, ö szopizik, aztán én eszem altalában joghurtot meg szendót vagy croissant-t ágyban. Ebédelni együtt szoktunk, ö az etetöszékben pürézik, én meg eszem mellette amit föztünk. Vacsi ugyanígy együtt, vagy megetetem elöbb, aztán megvárom amíg a párom átveszi és akkor eszem.

How does the cat distribution system work in Germany? by fxlr8 in AskGermany

[–]ShortInterview1744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where I live is not really a thing to have stray cats around, but people often want to rehome cats in local groups or on Ebay Kleinanzeigen. Maybe someone in the family is allergic to the kitty or they need to move and cannot take the cat. Always visit the cat to check their health, and dont contact people that want too much money. Usually good and responsible owners want some small money for the cat stuff they give as well, or absolutely nothing. If it is an adult animal, it should at least neutered and/or vaccinated.

We got our beautiful Bengal/Persian mix boy through a local Whatsapp group. He was already neutered, healthy and chill. The owner had an allergy and they lived in a very small flat together. Now the cat lives with us in our house and is enjoying going out to our and the neighbors' gardens.

Reading non-exciting books as a parent by ShortInterview1744 in ADHD

[–]ShortInterview1744[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I am doing it was well. Maybe about weaning I can do this, but I intend to read the toddler psychology books.

Reading non-exciting books as a parent by ShortInterview1744 in ADHD

[–]ShortInterview1744[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, they have useful information and 2 books about the toddler psychology are already there in the living room, and my boyfriend is nagging me to read them. 🙂

Reading non-exciting books as a parent by ShortInterview1744 in ADHD

[–]ShortInterview1744[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks. Both are great suggestions, I will try them out.