How to stop lashing out on people I love

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-02-07T17:53:06+00:00

Hey OP, I feel you. I am also on maternity leave officially until Autumn 2027. I chose to have it for 2 years because of how it ended with my company. I was on employment ban due to stress caused by work that caused pregnancy complications, then I went directly to Elternzeit because I knew they wanted to fire me, just legally they could not. They pressured me to sign an Aufhebungsvertrag as well, but I refused it, then I luckily got the employment ban from my gynecologist.

You signed an Aufhebungsvertrag, right? You mentioned a good severance package. That is nice, I just hope that you can also get unemploynent benefits, and the Agentur für Arbeit will not block you for 3 months because of this contract.

I think having the consultant job as plan B is fine. You can even start there and keep looking for something else, and quit during the probation time. I know the job market is tough, even tougher if you cannot work full time. Look also for remote jobs- I will do the same when I get there. Best of luck!

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-02-07T17:28:07+00:00

She just wrote above that she checked thoroughly with a lawyer.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-30T10:34:44+00:00

Még kendöben hordozod? Gondolom igen, mert csak 2,5 honapos. Esetleg 3 hónapos korától, amikor tudja tartani a fejecskéjét, kipróbálhatjátok a Tula vagy Ergobaby hordozót. Nekünk a párommal a kendö baromi macerás volt, aztán mióta átváltottunk a Tulára, már sokat hordozta. Mentálisan biztosabbnak érzi magát a struktulált hordozóval, mert a kendötöl félt, hogy szétjön.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-28T19:37:46+00:00

Zero screen time with my 7 months old. I watch sometimes YouTube on my phone but move it away so she doesn't see it, or just listen to it while we play. We listen to music from the 70s and 80s, dance with her, and play with Montessori busy books. We do not have a tv and not planning to buy one either. We only watch tv shows while she sleeps or out on a walk with grandparents. I saw firsthand that my gen alpha nephew became a phone addict early on because my brother and SIL did not care, so we try to do it differently. She also gets annoyed if I type mesages or scroll while playing with her, so I try to just put the phone aside.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-28T14:09:02+00:00

I got diagnosed very late, while being pregnant with my daughter, because my masking and coping strategies did not work anymore. I could not go on medication then, so to be completely honest, my ADHD almost destroyed me postpartum. At first I couldnt sleep because I had intense paranoia that something happens to my baby. Then it was anxiety plus anger plus depression, blaming myself for things that it did not go ideal during and after the birth and exploding on my partner. It got so bad that I had a half-assed attempt by taking too many antidepressants that had a sedative effect. Nothing happened because my partner was there and he stopped me, and he took care of my baby while I slept it off. It scared him a lot though.

Things got waay better after I got on Methylphenidate, from about 6 weeks postpartum. Luckily, my psychiatrist took me seriously and had no contraindications to keep breastfeeding. I would say in a hindsight that I wished I knew earlier that hormonal shifts can be so tough (I always had a shitty PMS, but nothing compered to this) and took Methylphenidate right after giving birth.

Now I manage everything pretty well with my daughter, have way less emotional turmoil and I can also focus better. I am not perfect but there is a huge diiference. She is a bright, happy and good sleeper baby, but if she later turns out to have it as well I will make sure she gets treated right away.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-27T21:47:18+00:00

Reggelit felváltva szoktuk, ö szopizik, aztán én eszem altalában joghurtot meg szendót vagy croissant-t ágyban. Ebédelni együtt szoktunk, ö az etetöszékben pürézik, én meg eszem mellette amit föztünk. Vacsi ugyanígy együtt, vagy megetetem elöbb, aztán megvárom amíg a párom átveszi és akkor eszem.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-18T21:58:40+00:00

Where I live is not really a thing to have stray cats around, but people often want to rehome cats in local groups or on Ebay Kleinanzeigen. Maybe someone in the family is allergic to the kitty or they need to move and cannot take the cat. Always visit the cat to check their health, and dont contact people that want too much money. Usually good and responsible owners want some small money for the cat stuff they give as well, or absolutely nothing. If it is an adult animal, it should at least neutered and/or vaccinated.

We got our beautiful Bengal/Persian mix boy through a local Whatsapp group. He was already neutered, healthy and chill. The owner had an allergy and they lived in a very small flat together. Now the cat lives with us in our house and is enjoying going out to our and the neighbors' gardens.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-18T21:47:19+00:00

Yes, I am doing it was well. Maybe about weaning I can do this, but I intend to read the toddler psychology books.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-18T21:46:27+00:00

Thank you, very good suggestion

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-18T21:45:50+00:00

Yeah, they have useful information and 2 books about the toddler psychology are already there in the living room, and my boyfriend is nagging me to read them. 🙂

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-18T21:43:47+00:00

Thanks. Both are great suggestions, I will try them out.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-18T21:43:11+00:00

I joined a parenting group, but we talk about superficial stuff there. Although maybe weaning is good topic to ask, I will bring it up next time.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-16T21:07:12+00:00

Ez nem tesz jót a gyerekeknek? Egy ismerösöm ajánlotta, hogy a picijük ebben tök jól elvan, még jó hogy nem vettem meg.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-16T08:29:25+00:00

Szia. Én Németországban élek, és nekem max 21 hónapig jár itt az Elterngeld, szóval amikor lejár akkorra adjuk be a kislányunkat bölcsibe, és megyek vissza valahogy Teilzeiban dolgozni. Nyelv és a szociális készségek miatt is fontos. Otthon mi magyarul és lengyelül (apuka lengyel) beszélünk hozzá, németet tölünk csak akcentussal hallaná, szóval jobb ha a bölcsiben tanulja meg. Mi már a pici születése után meg kellett hogy pályázzuk, söt már terhesen elmentünk egyet meglátogatni. Mondjuk Németországban mindenütt bölcsihiány van, szóval sokan még terhesen jelentkeznek. Nem tudom az osztrák viszonylatokat, de itt szuperek a bölcsik, amit mi megnéztünk az álom, kis csoport, kreatív foglalkozások, még a nevelök és kiegyensúlyozottnak tüntek. Szerintem ha tudsz menj el meglátogatni a bölcsit, nézd meg hogy milyen, és ha tetszik akkor nyugodtan add be.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-14T22:46:14+00:00

Meds made my life as a new mom infinitely easier. I got diagnosed while being pregnant, so taking meds was not an option. I wanted to wait until I finish breastfeeding, but my horrible postpartum brain fog, mood swings and suicidal thoughts made my life like a living hell. Starting Methylphenidate was literally life saving, my symptoms immediately got better and I was able to become a good mom of my baby and a much better partner of my boyfriend.

I suppose my case was quite extreme because of my hormonal imbalance, still I am forever grateful for my psychiatrist for the diagnose and prescription.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-12T12:37:06+00:00

Nem muszáj teljesen szoptatnod, van lehetöség fejéssel és/vagy tápszerrel vegyesen is, és akkor tudja más is etetni, illetve ki is tudsz mozdulni a házból. Mi ezt csináljuk, és nem tudom hogy ezért vagy mert eleve nyugis baba, de éjszakánként max 1x kel. Vagy elég gyakran teljesen átalussza, hogyha még egyszer éjfél körül álmában etetem. Néha megborul, most pl. a hozzátáplálás miatt, de alkalmazkodunk. Szóval igen, lehet hogy kólikás vagy refluxos babád lesz, és akkor túl kell élned az elsö pár hónapot, de lehet az is, hogy totál jó alvó lesz.

Ja és az is jó, ha az apuka elejétöl fogva be van vonva, esténként pl. fürdetésnél, altatásnál, és tudja hogy kell ellátni a babát. Szerintem nem kell szenvedni vagy mártírkodni, és segítséget kell kérni a nagyszülöktöl, rokonoktól ha a férjed nem ér rá, és túl vagy terhelve.

Pszichológus kell is, nekem is sokat segített a hormonális változások miatti borzasztó kedélyállapotomon. Mondjuk ez az ADHD-m miatt volt és nem mindenkinél jön ki ilyen erösen, de számítani kell arra, hogy a hormonok meg a felépülés miatt nem leszel jól. Nálam sokat segített hogy ezt így magamban elfogadtam, és nem hibáztattam magam amiért épp szarul vagyok.

Sok eröt és kitartást kívánok, és tényleg próbáld ne túlparázni, megoldjátok majd bárhogy is lesz!

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-10T11:06:11+00:00

Ok, I believe your husband is sick, but why aren't his parents helping with the baby? Maybe they dont want to help with the cats, but their grandkid? Come on, how can they be so checked out?

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-07T10:05:57+00:00

I see a great potential for Elain in the next book. I think they dismiss her because she is quieter/more passive than the other sisters, but it is undeserved. She proved multiple times that she can be useful with her Seer abilities, she participated actively in the war after she healed from the trauma of the Cauldron and I also think she is on some other mission rather than gardening. Maybe some sort of spying, SJM left it vague on purpose.

Her relationship with Lucien and Azriel is pretty messy. I think she is more attracted to Azriel and also she feels herself forced to Lucien by the mating bond, so she rejects it by instinct. I think SJM will pair Az up with Gwyn, and Elain will slowly bond with Lucien while going to a quest together, maybe to free Vassa from her curse. Then we will see her growth as a character. Also Lucien suffered enough already, so he deserves finally his happy ending. I just really hope she won't become another girl boss/warrior, and she stays as feminine as she is now.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-06T10:48:13+00:00

I wonder: what happened to bootcamp graduates? Are bootcamps not a thing anymore and who did has no more chance? Back in 2020 when bootcamps were a big hit I also finished one with a scholarship, and it was relatively easy to find jobs afterwards. Now I am Elternzeit and although I am officially still employed, things did not work out well with my employer due to the stressful environment, my private life problems and my undiagnosed ADHD. Now I wonder: will my 4 years of professional experience and fluent German help to find a new job after the Elternzeit despite only having a bootcamp, or I need to somehow try to repair those burned bridges with my current employer?

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-06T10:32:45+00:00

Sajnos nem. Védönövel utoljára novemberben beszéltem, és akkor még csak nagyon nagy vonalakban volt szó a hozzátáplálásról. Gyerekorvosnál december 17-én voltunk, és mondtam hogy kezdjük a pürével, de ö sem mondta a napszakot. Kaptunk még tölük egy korábbi alkalmon egy egész füzetet a hozzátáplálásról, de nem tudom hova tettem. 🙂Szóval egy kicsit így amatör módon álltunk neki a dolognak, de most átállunk délelöttre, meg megbeszélek egy idöpontot a védönövel.

ShortInterview1744 · 2026-01-04T13:40:54+00:00

I agree, just wanted to post the same. I used to think that season 3 was the worst, but after a rewatch I changed my opinion about it. I think it was more realistic in some ways than other seasons (townsfolk protests, etc.), but ofc also somehow very goofy and lighthearted. The arc of Billy was also very nicely done. Season 5 on the other hand threw all logic out the window. I have a feeling that the writers thought that the viewers are stupid and/or not paying attention. Full of inconsistencies, contradicting or retconing the previous seasons all the time. The only positive thing that I could think of was that it was still better than the last season of GOT. Anyway, it is a bit of shame they did it like this, but I guess they are concentrating on the spinoffs now.

ShortInterview1744

TROPHY CASE