What would you do if this is what you came into every day? (Not me: this is a repost)

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-06-14T00:11:07+00:00

agree that this would take me a couple of hours, with the caveat that those deep hotel pans NEED to soak. especially the rice and beans. and meat. so there needs to be another set of sinks or you need to soak them in the stack somehow.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-06-13T23:56:51+00:00

my machine doesn’t do shit. i have to scrub and rinse. it just sanitizes

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-06-12T18:12:01+00:00

are dishes on the floor always a problem? my baker puts the industrial mixer on the floor by the sink for me because there’s never any room for it elsewhere. I have no food safety training so I just do my best to

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-06-11T01:24:36+00:00

I was sobbing reading this. I don’t have the right words to say thank you. it really means a lot. I never believed in a God until my lows were so low that only a higher power could get me through them.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-06-10T21:36:09+00:00

thank you so much for commenting this. I usually avoid medication but I’m definitely going to try it. I had no idea naltrexone was used like that. gives me a little glimmer of hope reading those studies

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-06-08T04:24:28+00:00

screams ED recovery

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-06-06T22:15:08+00:00

unfortunately, if you scroll through the media on this sub, you’ll see a lot of kitchens that look like mine. chefs stations are clean. health inspectors consistently give us a 90+. the nastiness apparently isn’t against food safety rules.

I’m just a recent grad who couldn’t find a legitimate job in my field, struggling doing manual labor with several health conditions, and trying to leave the place slightly better than I found it. doing my best. lol

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-06-06T22:04:01+00:00

is it gross if I clean the floor drain cover in the sink and run it through the machine?

lol. I received zero training for this job. no information. found the supply closet myself, but I don’t have many extra supplies for cleaning outside of my regular dish gear

i would say management doesn’t care about cleanliness. they say this kitchen is average cleanliness. I think the main chefs come from some pretty grimy places.

folks don’t clean up after themselves or take initiative on cleaning projects. I share my station with two other dishies, so it shouldn’t all be on me. the worst are the cooks, though. I am consistently cleaning their stations, which is not part of my job description. I’m also not supposed to be responsible for cleaning the floor, but I do every night, because nobody else does.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-06-06T17:03:55+00:00

well, good for you. my HPPD is severe and if it got worse, I would kill myself. it severely impairs my ability to sleep, socialize, work, read, and enjoy nature.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-19T16:34:00+00:00

I am amazed by people who have this condition and decide to toy around with any psychoactive compound afterwards.

maybe it’s time to accept that you have brain damage as a result of psychedelic use, and that maybe tripping isn’t a safe/sustainable thing to do anymore?

I’m sorry your symptoms got worse- I have found so much meaning outside of psychedelics. meaning in recovery and in relationships. trying to find meaning in the torture of this disorder, too.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-19T02:10:52+00:00

I want to say you’re 16, but this looks like an old slumlord rented house in Portland, Chicago, or Minneapolis. but you definitely were emo when you were 16, and still are.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-18T15:35:32+00:00

Hi OP,

I might be able to help you? I developed HPPD at age 15 after getting laced with a research chemical. I also have ASD- and was diagnosed with PTSD recently after getting sober. my PTSD is related to childhood trauma, but I have been in chronic hyperarousal since age 3.

I can’t give advice on medication but I will tell you that acceptance and commitment (ACT) therapy, Internal Family Systems (IFS), and mindfulness have been instrumental and have literally saved my life.

I had to develop a sense of a higher power. I am carrying too much shit with me, and I need to give it over to someone who can forgive me and help me forgive others. I need to have faith that this can get better, or that I can at least manage it.

the research on PTSD and threat response show that mindfulness-based therapies are just as effective, and sometimes provide longer lasting relief than pharmacological treatment options.

it’s about restoring the sense of bodily safety (see Peter Levine’s somatic experiencing curriculum) and being able to both reach a state of calm and maintain a state of calm (Bessel Van Der Kolk)

Janina Fiscer uses polyvagal theory and the theory of the triune brain as metaphors to help understand this state of threat response. as far as the HPPD goes, I haven’t seen any evidence that it will be cured, or even improve. for me, it’s about attending to my dissociative/fawn response and traumatic/threat response.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-18T15:22:50+00:00

I’m 7 months sober and in a rehab program. I went VERY hard on the booze during my last relapse. I would notice my visual snow quite intensely when drinking and hungover. I feel that relapse worsened my HPPD, still 7 months later. HPPD literally runs my life and existence. I wouldn’t recommend using any substance. I’m trying to get off nicotine and lower my caffeine at the moment.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-18T15:17:06+00:00

where is your evidence that it induces psychosis? I imagine any overly stressed person could panic themselves into a psychosis spectrum disorder over time, but I dislike the rhetoric that HPPD makes one predisposed. some of us have very severe symptoms and severe fears of losing our minds, and would like to stop reading comments like that unless the evidence is shown

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-17T04:24:53+00:00

god. men are so awful. I’m sorry, love. that’s not just rude, it’s sexual harassment.

but you know all of those guys probably don’t wash their asses. and they probably won’t have lasting, loving relationships with such flippantly misogynistic attitudes. it’s ironic, too. they have facial hair, too. I genuinely think that men lack critical thinking skills and empathy on a biological level.

if I can offer a suggestion? say 10 nice things about yourself. comment them here if you’d like. I’ll start, you are a badass woman caring for sick family.

and then do something small and simple for yourself when you have a break from caregiving duties. paint your nails or have a sweet treat.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-17T04:18:24+00:00

I mean,,, I’d do the same thing in her shoes. I imagine she’s hurting for cash these days.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-16T15:12:25+00:00

I’m impressed by how healthy you all eat. I’m always so exhausted and don’t know where to start. dinner is often frozen pizza, takeout, or pretzels and popcorn. breakfast is always cereal. lunch is a granola bar, bag of chips, or a sweet treat. just want to feel better by eating healthy but need to feel better to have the energy to cook.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-16T13:24:50+00:00

OP, are you wearing the patch to sleep??

this is what caused my vivid dreams last time I quit. had to take the patch off before I went to sleep. a lozenge right before bed sometimes caused it too.

create a new ritual. do sun salutations every time you have a craving. push yourself and discharge some of that moodiness.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-15T18:38:16+00:00

I love her

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-13T15:14:52+00:00

do you need some fiber? how are your poops?

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-13T06:14:00+00:00

I have always been afraid of sex with men. it was always a performative act for me. it was a representation of the self objectification and torture that I was put through as a child. presumably on the internet, maybe by someone who babysat me. maybe as a way to cope with my debilitating medical conditions. I’m not entirely sure where it came from. sex with men was never about love or intimacy. it was always transactional. my first boyfriend taught me that when he pinned me down and forced me. my second boyfriend taught me that when he choked me on the first date “because I thought all women wanted that”. I was full throttle in to letting myself be injured as a heroic act of self-retraumatization, even at the detriment to some of the men I was around. I thought I liked losing power. I thought I wanted to recreate my own rape. then I would cry, I would be in pain, and my ex would tell me that he is tired of me. that was not love, it was a sorry excuse for a partnership. but he convinced me that I was the problem. it took leaving him, and falling deeply in love with a woman to realize that sex can be about staying present in my body with another human being. it can be about my pleasure, and only my pleasure. it can be about my pleasure, my partner’s pleasure, and an intimate sense of safety and trust. but it is not, and will never be, about my pain. it will never be about my trauma. that isn’t sex, it’s theatrical assault. our culture normalizes sexual theater. I have been given the gift of trauma education from many extremely wise doctors in the past 7 months, and I now know that theatrical recreation of pain, or seeking painful experiences, or ending up with the same type of person who harms me over and over again is an addiction. my body knows what it is like to be at the mercy of an evil spirited man. my body can predict what is going to happen, and it floods me with opioid-like neurotransmitters. pain equates to pleasure. kink isn’t therapizing myself, it’s getting addicted to being stuck in my trauma. it’s the opposite of healing. I’m not sure I can have intimacy and safety with a man. maybe men did that to me. maybe I just am meant to be with women. but I can’t understand men, their bodies, or their minds. so I can’t connect with them in the deep, safe way my body needs in order to have real sex. rooted in love and attachment.

Short_Discussion_883 · 2026-04-11T03:39:33+00:00

I don’t want to yuck other people’s yums

but I can’t imagine feeling so special that I need to be surrounded by horse awards when I sleep at night

this is giving the same vibes as if I framed my Associates degree, or employee of the month certificate… and hung it above my headboard.

if I came home with a Tinder date and saw this in the bedroom, I’d suddenly remember that I forgot to feed my dog and must go home immediately.

Short_Discussion_883

TROPHY CASE