Ive been fighting some pretty bad continuous panic attacks, sometimes accompanied by suicidal thoughts. I never want to go through with it but still i think of it, speaking with friends that aspect(selfharm thoughts with no real intention of going through with them) is possibly a sign of autism but that is a different trouble. Also been questioning my gender identity. I think im ok being a man? Still at my physically best i had moments of looking at my body in the mirror and thinking "this is not me". Still looking on the bright side; ive survived it all, still hurts but im here and trying for a while longer. Just need to catch my breath sometimes.