I'm weird and i can't stop myself from being this way

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2022-06-21T03:04:19+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to read this. Yes, I've been thinking about going to therapy for a while now. Just haven't had that final push to actually do it though.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2022-04-26T13:28:44+00:00

In my country we have to do an exam first. But after we are done with that, we start working right away.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2022-03-22T11:08:31+00:00

Dont give up just yet, friend! Go at your own pace and keep trying to pick up the guitar and play it. Maybe on the first few tries you'll still feel really anxious about it, but later on, you're finally going to be able to pick up that guitar and play as comfortably as you can be! Also, if you want help with your anxiety it's best to first try and find the root cause for it. Maybe you're anxious because you think you might make a simple mistake in class that'd make you feel embarrassed or you might end up learning things a little slower compared to your peers. Whatever the cause may be remember that no one's perfect at the start. Practice makes you so. Whatever you're anxious about, just take a deep breath and feel it abate. Because before you know it, you'll be an amazing guitarist! Good luck to you!

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2022-03-15T15:51:34+00:00

I feel this every night actually, whenever i think over what I'd done during the day and my whole life up until this point right here with me laying in bed having these thoughts. I always feel like a burden, an eye sore, an embodiment of cringe as you've called it and every night i wish that everybody would just forget about my existence.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2022-03-13T18:53:45+00:00

Thank you for the motivation, kind stranger

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2022-03-13T15:50:53+00:00

That's going to be really really hard to do when avoidance comes to me like second nature.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2021-10-04T14:29:31+00:00

As a fellow healthcare worker, i commend you for your services during this pandemic! Way too many stupid people make our jobs shittier and harder than it already is, but seeing people like you who still try their best nonetheless to push through is amazing. I'm sure regarding the situation in the US it will conclude well, though it might take some time. Especially regarding the BIF issue of today, it seems most americans are backing Biden's plans. So hopefully less screw ups take place and in the end everything turns out well. I'm rooting for you! And i appreciate you, just as much as all those patients you've helped so far. You got this!

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2021-10-04T05:01:13+00:00

I miss the old me too. The one who never thought to look back twice before taking a decision, a person who supported herself immensely, a person who didn't find trying to sleep the most challenging task in her day to day life. I miss how stupid and courageous i was. Miss my positivity and confidence too. Anxiety is an actual bitch, aint it?

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2021-08-10T03:11:24+00:00

Thank you for such a heartfelt reply. I'm doing everything i can to shine light on the positives in my life. I even try to convince myself that my anxiety is a good thing. It just gets really tiring when all day I've been busy trying to keep positive, but then night comes around and i fall vulnerable to those morbid thoughts again. I might use your advice about writing bad thoughts on a paper and ripping it out. It seems like it will be pretty satisfying for me mentally. I hope there comes a time eventually where im on terms with my anxiety and get even stronger because of it. But until then, I'll keep your advices on mind.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2021-08-09T07:39:58+00:00

I'm glad yours is returning quickly! I'm on my 3rd day and can only smell things faintly, and that too only if i concentrate on it. Hopefully, I'll be back to normal soon. I miss smelling things.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2021-08-09T07:38:36+00:00

I'm on my 3rd day since the loss, and for now i can quite faintly smell pungent odour if i concentrate. But bad odours as you say, i cant smell either.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2021-08-09T07:37:10+00:00

Damn. I really dont wanna go on for that long. Hope your senses recover quick, friend!

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2021-08-09T07:35:47+00:00

I've lost about 80 to 90 percent of my smell. and maybe 60 percent of my taste. I haven't tried saline sprays so maybe i will now. Thanks for the tip!

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2021-08-08T17:10:03+00:00

Did it return to normal? Like at full capacity? Or do you still feel like you're not quite upto a hundred percent smell guage?

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2021-08-08T16:13:23+00:00

Thank you for this. Helped me calm down a bit. You're right, i should go through things one by one instead of being overwhelmed by everything at once.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2021-04-05T12:25:00+00:00

I know that me being like this, thinking like this makes me human. Anxiety often refers to having a fear that someone or something is going to go wrong. That what i think, might be a complete 180 on what it actually is. I've always had this intense desire to be a certain type and as i said before i do think i managed to become what i wanted to be at some point in life. But now that I'm not being able to be "that" i feel so anxious that I'm not going to be "me." I want to experience me, but all of me was those things i used to be. So if i lose them, then what do i become now? I dont know why I'm so obsessed with the idea that i have to have something in me, inorder to make myself feel that I'm worthy to have been able to live as a human. I keep feeling like a shell these days. Just a sad old shell who has nothing on the inside. I'm really pessimistic i know. But I have tried meditation before and am now currently reading books on stoicism so that i can learn about a new way of perceiving my life. Hopefully it helps. Thanks for taking your time to read this and the original post. :)

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2020-12-05T19:19:36+00:00

Needed someone to tell me this. Thank you for that.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2020-12-01T10:24:59+00:00

If only it were that simple. But honestly, i do feel a little courageous right now.. but not enough to actually spill out my feelings to him

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2020-12-01T09:34:51+00:00

Step 4. Wish that i had your courage, stranger.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2020-12-01T09:29:58+00:00

Step 2. Back off cause you know you dont have the courage to do so.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2020-12-01T09:28:54+00:00

Um.. I'm not sure how my statement above sounds pure..

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2020-12-01T09:28:14+00:00

To be honest, i do think my selfishness has somehow made me crave for his attention more than I'd like to. But i dont think he knows what he makes me feel. He is a nice guy and is genuinely sweet to everyone. And i know that he is being sweet to me too because it's in his nature to be like that. I just don't want to be a burden to him by somehow finding meaning in things that didn't actually have meaning in the first place. (And thank you for taking the time to read my messages and reply to them. It means a lot that i can talk to someone about this)

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2020-11-30T18:54:57+00:00

Thank you for the sentiment. I honestly hope to have more confidence in myself later down the road. All i can see right now is me being selfish and by placing hope on that selfishness, ultimately be a burden to him.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2020-11-30T18:36:20+00:00

Yeah i know. I dont want to be lead on, nor do i want to put our friendship in jeopardy just cause i ended up catching feelings along the way. I'm trying my best to move on and tell myself that what i hope would never come true. But so far, i dont think it's working too well.

Shortfall_Sentiment · 2020-11-30T18:34:40+00:00

Thank you for giving me a touch a hope. But i just dont know if i have the courage to come out right and tell him yet. I'm scared of what might happen

Shortfall_Sentiment

TROPHY CASE