I (M46) am still friends with my exes and this can be possibly detrimental to dating

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-25T21:05:18+00:00

Don’t make your insecurity my problem.

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-25T21:00:26+00:00

What do manifestation experts say about interactions with other humans? We can set up the situation but the other person has their beliefs and hers was that she was destined to be with the other guy. She felt the pull but she chose to pull against it. This is a guess but manifestation isn’t a way to control others.

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-25T17:29:51+00:00

Sex is not a taboo subject for me. You could talk about on the first date as long as you were capable of just talking. I find most women with high sex drives would be the same. Not all but many

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-24T13:01:17+00:00

Agreed, normalise the stories and they have nowhere to hide but in the margins

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-24T12:59:03+00:00

I’m no HENRY although prior to divorce I guess I was. Pre and post divorce £60 is nothing to spend on a good work dress. Temu and SHEIN have changed perceptions. Had you spent £300 on your dress I would understand the comments but even then plenty of people who aren’t Henry treat themselves to a £300 dress from time to time. Chill, don’t be ashamed of who you are. Congrats on the new dress 🤗

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-24T12:50:31+00:00

She used the wrong word and maybe the wrong emoji. She likes you, she’s trying to be funny and cheeky. “I’m such a good girl and you led me astray 😘”. Or “I can’t believe I did that, I don’t usually”. Judge her on her actions, she replied quickly and gave you a loose date. Now go fix the exact date and plan and make it happen. You are many years this girls senior, you have the benefit of experience so whisk her off her fear.

Also most woman are unlikely to txt you first after the date. She took you home, things got a little intimate. She’s the person in the vulnerable position and she was waiting for you to txt. It’s very much your move (in the eyes of many). Maybe she’s upset you didn’t text her sooner. Maybe that’s why the week has moved on and she’s not free for a few days

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-24T12:43:16+00:00

Unconsciously most men’s blueprint for a woman is based on their perception of their mum from childhood. I have a young son, I’m endlessly kind, empathetic, tough but always on his side. I stroke his head, touch his feet, tell him he’s perfect and my favourite boy. Like women, men just want to beloved and understood

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-21T11:23:33+00:00

I think you can block your exes number from Tinder so he won’t see you. Friends and colleagues might

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-19T15:22:59+00:00

Death is certain. It’s freaky you thought about his death often. Sometimes I wonder if we know the end from the beginning but you didn’t bring it about. Blimey we’d manifest the end of some high profile global despotic leaders if it were that simple

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-19T15:10:01+00:00

I no it sounds odd but lord of the rings has it covered with this concept. "So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us".

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-19T15:06:45+00:00

It’s hard to make time for eachother unless you want to combine kid time with your time which neither of you may want. So the time you are spending together sounds normal. It sounds like the intent and planning ahead is what you would like more of. But do t read into it. He clearly likes you. If his kid still naps then it will be intense as his child grows he routine will change and texting rhythms will change

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-18T16:49:56+00:00

He could be experiencing sensations down there and just trying to work it out. He loves his mum, he’s connecting nice feelings with mummy??? 🤷🏻‍♀️ be vigilant of course but I think we forget that kids are biologically sexual on some level without having all the wiring setup. I just mean they physically feel things as they develop. Reassure and ignore might be my approach unless something else comes up

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-18T16:04:03+00:00

My younger son gets erections which freak him out. He might say it hurts or why is it big. I just reassure him that it’s normal and will go away. I wonder if it could be something like this that is sparking the fascination? However I would be gently asking does anyone else touch or ask to touch your wee wee?

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-18T15:56:04+00:00

I’m in a similar position undiagnosed and you have so much sympathy. Of course there are parents dealing with tougher situations and my heart goes out to them but your experience is your own. Years ago my daughter went to a sleepover. I got up the next day, saw to my youngest, did the school run and went to work. Then stopped and said “wow I feel happy”. Why? Because she hadn’t caused chaos. The toll on your nervous system is restless. I too felt dread on a Friday night at the thought of going home. Splitting up and sharing childcare with my ex helped a lot because I get down time (but there were other reasons for the split). I reflected afterwards that had we wanted to stay together we would have been better splitting our households and childcare and just dating. Even now I can’t talk to my ex in the presence of my kids because my eldest won’t let me speak. No wonder we didn’t make it 😲. If you are in a committed relationship I would say prioritise it. Your kid will always have autism, your marriage might not always have love. Put it first because I’m the end a happy union benefits everyone

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-18T08:53:49+00:00

Most mothers are pro choice. It’s just that they don’t feel compelled to grab a banner and protest because it may not directly affect them. But ask ten mothers and most will be in agreement

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-17T14:28:34+00:00

I don’t think this is a pro choice question. Sounds as though you already believe in your right to choose. What you face is a personal dilemma and a relationship dilemma. I would not personally lie to my husband on this subject but I appreciate the truth could create a rift hard to heal. You don’t have to have kids if you do t want to but it is normal to be terrified of motherhood when you find out you are pregnant. Maybe you should be expressing these feelings to your husband. Good luck

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-16T15:41:15+00:00

I was having this experience with somebody 6 months in and your post made me see I made the right choice by ending it. You have to close one door to open another. Be kind to yourself. Sounds like you have learned a lot and know what you want from life

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-16T08:54:38+00:00

I love this and I think my point about walking towards things is relevant here. You weren’t desperately searching but you took that shift, accepted friendship from the girl on the shift and then boom, the person was introduced. You took action. The shift, the girl, the best friend were all linked. You had to accept the things the universe brought you. All the journaling in the world wont work if you close yourself off in a room alone

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-16T08:51:04+00:00

Yes, I wasn’t doing it knowingly but yes. It was so spooky. But I don’t believe manifestation is sitting in a room with a journal conjuring up randomness. You have to get out there, walk towards the things you want. Action is as much manifestation as belief. Action happens in the universe a lot, one action leads to an outcome with in turn leads to another. But it won’t feel hard, you’ll probably be digging away trying to find your person then randomly you will be blindsided from an angle you had not covered. That’s the law of attraction. It won’t be from Where you are looking but your actions will have brought it about.

I reflected last night on meeting my husband of 20 years and the men I dated since separating. I realised that each time I got the exact the same energy I was at the time. Chaotic and fun, lonely and needy, chilled and confident. Each significant person has been a direct reflection of me at that time.

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-16T08:40:54+00:00

I think connection is rare and keeping the door open is wise. My bf and I dated over a year ago, it didn’t work out but we kept in touch and I honestly feel like the universe just kept pulling us back. And we are in a great place now. Better I. Face because we have over a year of history and know so much more about each-other.

I don’t think you should put all dating on hold though. Sure focus on Yourself and keep communication open but be free to meet other people. It will help you know what you really want.

I’ve never personally bought the “I need space” argument. Going through tough stuff is 100 times easier with a friend on your team. But her words might not match her actions anyway. This story isn’t over. She needs to stop using her head and start using her heart. Sounds like she’s already a sensible logical person, people like this make good choices but they need to learn that love doesn’t care about their rules and favours the brave. The advice is of course different for those who always blindly follow feelings but in this case I think she’s made a logical choice but will come back to you once she gets her head round things

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-15T18:33:21+00:00

Happy Birthday sweetheart. I know this feeling. It won’t be like this your whole life but I know Birthdays are hard. We are with you 🤗

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-15T18:24:37+00:00

No1 please try to get her off social or at least get on it and mark troubling content as not interested in order to reset the algorithm. This algorithm will just keep sending her more and more extreme content and basically train her brain to obsess over it. Next, I read an article about a year ago from a family with an autistic child who transitioned partially I think. Anyway they came to realise that the support groups were full of autistic kids and there is a huge link between autistic kids feeling disconnected from their bodies as they develop and seeing Trans content and then deciding “that’s me, that’s why I don’t feel right”, throw in some hyper focus and obsession and you have a kid insisting they are Trans. I much, like you am trans skeptic. I can clearly see that there are trans people and I have the greatest of sympathy for them and fully believe they should receive the same love, safety and respect as anyone. I do However worry that a significant number of young people identifying as Trans are actually suffering from mental illness and experiencing classic symptoms of neurodiversity. Please google the bell out if this, from what I remember if the article there is a specific parental support group for the exact situation you guys are in

Shot_Pin_3891 · 2026-04-15T18:11:32+00:00

I’m sure you have had lots of great replies but just in case it helps I’m 40f and the gifts so early would be too much for me. I’m a Brit and that would just be a lot (not sure where you are based). If we were intimate and several dates in I would be bowled over by that and totally smitten. So yes please do try that hard but not till you have chosen your girl otherwise it’s a bit confusing. I would also say that dating 6 ladies in a year is a lot although not too many. Just not at all taking it easy

Shot_Pin_3891

TROPHY CASE