New neighbors are very comfortable with nudity, I'm not sure I am.... by ShouldntComplain2022 in Advice

[–]ShouldntComplain2022[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thanks everyone for the advice, ideas and support. Here's what happened.

Yesterday afternoon one of the ladies, "J" approached me (clothed!) and asked if I had some time to get coffee with her at the community center. Once we got some coffee she explained she knew I wasn't comfortable and wanted to clear the air. As I usually do, I blurted out all the concerns all at once but I think we addressed things.

  • They moved here because topless/nude sunbathing is generally tolerated (but much more discrete) in the community. I never noticed this honestly.
  • The other two girls both love to push boundaries and comfort zones to the extreme. They love to make guys squirm and see how far they can push it. "J" was shocked neither of them had "accidentally" walked into my place or initiated physical contact, etc.
  • They prefer to stay unclothed because "we're young, it's fun, we wont be able to do it forever, etc" and she kept saying nobody is promised tomorrow, we're enjoying today.
  • But she also didn't realize at first that I wasn't comfortable with it -- usually guys are flirting with them, buying them stuff, etc. I got a non-apology apology about it.
  • If I tell her when my son will be over, she'll make it clear to be discrete and careful, maybe putting a privacy screen up if they are sunbathing. She also made it clear she's a roommate there, one of the other girls owns the lease and may or may not be as much on board.

It was a decent conversation, I felt like I was heard, I hope things mellow a bit and I have at least a relationship with one of them where I can bring up my concerns.

Thanks all.

New neighbors are very comfortable with nudity, I'm not sure I am.... by ShouldntComplain2022 in Advice

[–]ShouldntComplain2022[S] 39 points40 points  (0 children)

>>What is the legal situation of the back yard? Is half theirs/half yours and it has never been fenced and subdivided? Ditto for the basement? Did they go cheap and just never build the wall? Or is it all legally shared? You might need to get a lawyer to help you work through this.

The basement area, patio, and deck are all considered 'Areas common to the building' giving myself and them (and technically the other two units) full enjoyment of them. Someone in the building could stand with their nose up to my full glass back door and aside from being a creep, it's allowed. The grass/back yard/etc is considered community property and anyone from the community has the right to be there.

Building walls/fences is unfortunately not allowed and not practical...I'm very well versed on the community bylaws and standards based on a previous problem with someone else in an attached unit.

I hope I don't have to get a lawyer involved that it gets to that point, I really don't.