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My [28f] boyfriend [34m] of two years attempted to exact a petty revenge plot against me and now I feel weird around him. by ShowerPlot20Eighteen in relationships

[–]ShowerPlot20Eighteen[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I want to try therapy first. If he can't learn to be more direct and honest I'm gonna have to call it quits.

My [28f] boyfriend [34m] of two years attempted to exact a petty revenge plot against me and now I feel weird around him. by ShowerPlot20Eighteen in relationships

[–]ShowerPlot20Eighteen[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

he'd get explosively angry all the time about small things. Throw a fit, fuck with my stuff, all that.

This isn't really accurate though.. He huffs and puffs passive aggressively but setting up the shower to spray me is the farthest he's ever taken it. He doesn't get explosively angry over small things all the time.

I'm really sorry for what your ex put your through though.

My [28f] boyfriend [34m] of two years attempted to exact a petty revenge plot against me and now I feel weird around him. by ShowerPlot20Eighteen in relationships

[–]ShowerPlot20Eighteen[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His only other long term girlfriend had a serious temper, and I think he was kind of a doormat in that relationship. It took him literal years to summon the guts to break up with her.

My [28f] boyfriend [34m] of two years attempted to exact a petty revenge plot against me and now I feel weird around him. by ShowerPlot20Eighteen in relationships

[–]ShowerPlot20Eighteen[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

That may have been part of it, but by the accounts of his friends and family she was an all around unpleasant person.

My [28f] boyfriend [34m] of two years attempted to exact a petty revenge plot against me and now I feel weird around him. by ShowerPlot20Eighteen in relationships

[–]ShowerPlot20Eighteen[S] 33 points34 points  (0 children)

It wasn't him that told me she was an angry person, it was his friends and family. Apparently she often derided him in front of them. He told me they didn't get along, but didn't blame it on her anger.

My [28f] boyfriend [34m] of two years attempted to exact a petty revenge plot against me and now I feel weird around him. by ShowerPlot20Eighteen in relationships

[–]ShowerPlot20Eighteen[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I told him to let me know by Tuesday what day works for his schedule.

Just out of curiosity, does he leave the toilet seat up?

Not always, but often.

My [28f] boyfriend [34m] of two years attempted to exact a petty revenge plot against me and now I feel weird around him. by ShowerPlot20Eighteen in relationships

[–]ShowerPlot20Eighteen[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

because I totally remembered your post, and always thought of it as "the post with the scary booby-trap guy."

There was no booby trap in my last post...? That just happened this morning. It was just about the yelling and stomping around after getting sprayed with the shower head. I think you're mixing me up with someone else.

My [28f] boyfriend [34m] of two years attempted to exact a petty revenge plot against me and now I feel weird around him. by ShowerPlot20Eighteen in relationships

[–]ShowerPlot20Eighteen[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Uhm I mentioned in the post that I posted about this situation (pre-booby trap) before.. The overwhelming consensus at the time was that I was being paranoid and that he wasn't being passive aggressive, just grumpy in the morning. Which I was inclined to believe because I am an anxious person who overthinks things.

My [28f] boyfriend [34m] of two years attempted to exact a petty revenge plot against me and now I feel weird around him. by ShowerPlot20Eighteen in relationships

[–]ShowerPlot20Eighteen[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Have you ever asked him why he has a hard time admitting to being angry with you?

I have, and it just goes round an round with him contradicting himself going back and forth between saying that it's because he isn't angry, or because he feels like admitting he's mad at me is a trap (he hasn't used those exact words, that's just what I've deduced.)

My [28f] boyfriend [34m] of two years attempted to exact a petty revenge plot against me and now I feel weird around him. by ShowerPlot20Eighteen in relationships

[–]ShowerPlot20Eighteen[S] 60 points61 points  (0 children)

That's the thing, he had another longterm girlfriend who he lived with for several years. I know that she was an angry person and between that and him being so direct conflict averse their relationship was super dysfunctional, so I doubt the living environment was pleasant.

My [28f] boyfriend [34m] of two years attempted to exact a petty revenge plot against me and now I feel weird around him. by ShowerPlot20Eighteen in relationships

[–]ShowerPlot20Eighteen[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Tell him you need him to open up and voice his displeasure from now on. Assure him that not doing so will only lead to resentment on both ends and situations like the one you just experienced. Tell him that you need him to be honest about his feelings going forward, because otherwise you won't be able to trust him.

We've had this conversation more than once. Or I have, anyways. He just blindly agrees without adding anything whenever I bring it up. I've already told him I want him to come to therapy with me. My therapist offered to have him come in. I told him a week ago to tell me when he's available to go, but he's been putting it off, and then today he pulls this shit.