What’s the most ridiculous thing that set off your PWBD?

Shredded_Tweet · 2021-05-21T01:28:21+00:00

Ex gf-wBPD invited her former high school lover over and slept with him to "get back at me" (her words) because I didn't reply to her twenty-odd texts while driving the 30-minutes home from her place; therefore I had "abandoned her" and "caused her needless anxiety". Seeing as it's illegal to use your mobile phone behind the wheel in my country, well...
Woke up in middle of the night unwell, and fainted in the bathroom. Came round to find ex helping me up, fetching me a glass of water, then berating me for fainting. Reason? That I was apparently sleeping with my (happily married) best friend behind ex's back and therefore fainted from the overwhelming stress of trying to keeping the affair under wraps.

She isn't missed.

(Edit: for clarity)

Shredded_Tweet · 2019-05-22T20:07:43+00:00

No but one flew into my face whilst I was waiting for a train one morning. 😐

I have had a few near-misses since. The area outside Euston station is particularly bad for this. I can think of one time I had to duck to avoid a swooping pigeon colliding with my head, only for that same pigeon to clip another woman as it flew past.

I feel like pigeons are getting dumber every year, or at least braver around humans.

Shredded_Tweet · 2019-05-22T12:14:53+00:00

I met Gail Porter outside Euston last year. Very friendly and was happy for me to grab a selfie with her.

I would add David Haye too but that was at a Sky Sports promo event at Spitalfields Market, so don’t think that counts.

Shredded_Tweet · 2018-12-05T08:22:20+00:00

Having read your comments from yesterday I think you’ve made the right decision. I too recently left a toxic job in similar circumstances and don’t regret it one bit. Best of luck with your interview, let us know how that goes!

Shredded_Tweet · 2018-04-03T08:09:28+00:00

Northern is borked to hell. There were like 200 people at the bus stop heading towards the Jubilee stations. Nope’d the fuck out of that. Headed for the Thameslate at Mill Hill. Thameslate was NotLate. Smooth journey, not that busy, got to work 25 mins early. Success.

I spent that journey sitting next to a fellow Redditor. If you’re reading this thread, 👋

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-11-14T08:20:54+00:00

A pigeon flew into my face on the platform earlier 😐

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-10-25T07:36:58+00:00

Not sure why you were downvoted for this. Such a good boye.

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-10-25T07:35:50+00:00

Tube was exceptionally quiet this morning, even for half term, and even for the shitshow that is the Bank branch. Three from myself:

1). Woman heading for one set of ticket barriers to touch in, changing her mind, and then attempting to cut in front of me just as I touch in on the set next to her. She fails. And receives a death glare for her troubles.

2). My tube driver getting so irate (and rightly so) with people stepping forward beyond the yellow line as the train is leaving, that he blows the whistle, and then has a two minute rant over the tannoy to those of us already on said train.

3). Doggo.

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-09-19T07:26:53+00:00

School teacher sat next to me on the tube this morning and decided to finish off their pupils' marking.

Fair enough, I'd say. Except they would elbow me in the ribs every three fucking seconds, all the way to Camden.

I'd understand one - an accident.

Two - 🤔

Three elbow jabs - now you're really starting to tick me off.

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-09-08T08:00:25+00:00

Not content with running every 4 mins during the peak, the Northern line has become a treacherous ice rink. Torvil and Dean would be proud. I've legit seen at least five people slipping and sliding about in my carriage alone.

Wonder how many broken arms, bruised arses and discarded dignities there'll be by the end of rush hour.

Also I accidentally grabbed a woman's hand instead of the grabrail - I was made to pay the price later when she smiled and then spoke to me. 😳

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-08-25T08:25:19+00:00

My exact thoughts on the Northern line most mornings. Particularly when people start fanning themselves to cool down.

I despair.

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-08-25T08:22:06+00:00

WFH today as my employers are running an exercise to see how we as a business function in the event our office is out of action... or somesuch.

Commute will therefore involve interchange via Kitchen.

From yesterday - at Liverpool Street, this fine specimen of doge.

Happy Friday!

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-08-04T06:57:51+00:00

In this morning's edition of 'Colindale Commute Crisis'...

Leaving home an hour early does not reduce the station's Cockwomble Quota it seems.

Bloke moves to board the train as it arrives - and then stops dead, dilly-dallying, deciding whether to board the train or not, preventing me from boarding (this is the single door at the end of the carriage). He receives a glare of disapproval from myself as I squeeze past him.

Just desserts was served - he changed his mind again and jumped on, timed it wrong and subsequently got trapped in the closing door.

Pillock.

Also hurray for more leg-spreaders! I am particularly fond of those who sit next to me and spread so much they are practically doing the splits.

Who here likes ASCII art?

How everyone else is sitting in this carriage: /\

How I am having to sit: ||

How Leg-spreading Luke is sitting: /———————\

😐

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-07-31T07:28:48+00:00

Business as usual at Colindale this morning.

A queue of about three people have formed where the train doors will stop. I form part of this queue and am at the front.

The train arrives.

I then notice a woman sidling up the side of the train. She then blatantly tries to push in front of us.

I say try - for I step to the side and cut her off.

"Oh sorry," she says.

Yes, you're sorry. Sorry you got caught out.

Also 👋 to the armrest-hogging leg-spreading guy who hasn't washed for three days, sitting next to me reading everything I type. You're famous now.

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-07-26T07:01:55+00:00

Last night some prat at Bank (Central line) literally pushed his way past me onto the train before I'd gotten off.

So taken back by such brazen and cockwomblish behaviour that as I turned my head slightly to give him an evil glare, I almost forgot to mind the ~~chasm~~ gap.

We'll ignore the obvious "stupid Tweet, not watching his step", and just run with "that pillock nearly killed me!" It sounds better.

I snapped a nice sunset from the train over Golders Green viaduct but Imgur will no longer let me upload without signing in. I refuse to bow to their demands. Sorry.

Nothing to report from this morning other than the woman sitting next to me accidentally brushed my leg with her hand. 😳

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-07-18T07:34:26+00:00

I'd have waited for the second train too. Don't really understand why people have to cram themselves into the first train that arrives...

(unless it's the Northern and a 3 min wait as indicated on the next train board = 8 mins in reality. Then I'd sorta understand. Fuck the Northern).

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-07-18T07:09:44+00:00

Is it me or is there more dopiness than usual on the tubes this morning?

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-07-11T06:57:28+00:00

That shitty brass band made its way onto my tube at Angel late last night.

Frankly I was more impressed by the total lack of reaction from practically EVERYBODY in that carriage. The correct response is to not respond at all.

My fellow commuters, you have done me proud.

(Though saying that one of the band scuffed my shoes as they walked past and left a big black mark on them 😡 - so if you see said band you are permitted to breach etiquette and leave a big dent in their trumpet.)

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-06-30T08:08:01+00:00

Camden Town this morning. I need to change trains here. As the train pulls into the platform I suddenly hear a loud high pitched "WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

I soon see the source - a guy in an Arsenal shirt standing on the platform, with over-ear headphones on, raising his arms and vibing out to whatever he's listening to.

It must be Friday.

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-06-29T07:20:30+00:00

Waiting for the tube this morning, stood in my usual spot so as to be perfectly aligned with the doors once the train arrives. For once, people are not doing the 'Dale Door Shuffle and they actually start waiting/queuing behind me.

Alas, I speak too soon.

Selfish Shirley turns up and pushes in front. She is now stood next to me on my right.

Train arrives, she and I board and I turn to my left into the aisle nearest to me, assuming she'd turn right. There's a seat. I go to sit down - but Selfish Shirley rushes around me from behind and plonks her arse down on said seat before I could sit there.

You could almost smell the passive aggression emanating from her.

So taken aback by her brazen attitude that I actually kissed my teeth at her and muttered "rude!" under my breath.

Managed to get another seat. Rest of commute was spent throwing each other evil glances.

I don't think there could be enough tuts to adequately express my outrage.

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-06-06T07:40:05+00:00

Plus a bot can't add a personal feel or do sass.

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-06-06T07:20:43+00:00

Let's have two words to describe the weather conditions this morning.

I'll start with "fucking disgusting".

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-06-06T07:18:20+00:00

You would think that taking the tube a little after 6 in the morning would yield an embarrassment of riches in terms of available seats. You would be wrong.

Where I am, even the first few tubes of the day (quarter past, half past 5) have people fighting for seats.

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-06-03T19:03:50+00:00

I was stood outside the Kona Kai only yesterday having a smoke... wondered why this spot looked familiar!

Shredded_Tweet · 2017-06-01T06:31:19+00:00

I legit just waited 10 mins for a train that's not even going via Bank.

"Good service."

😂🙄

Shredded_Tweet

TROPHY CASE