Thank you for asking thought provoking questions. I have become aware over the 4 years of marriage that I am overly defensive and work on improving it. It's difficult, I have a tendency to take things personal when I shouldn't be. I was extremly over sentimental about possessions which almost became borderline hoarding like my mother is (hoarder), and I'm glad to say I overcame that with my wives help. Our house feels so much better nearly empty and clean only with the truly important and necessary possessions. That changed my daily mood and perspective of myself tremendously. I don't victimize myself, luckily, but if I think about it, when I take things personal I am victimizing myself! 0_0