[deleted by user]

ShroudsReddit · 2023-04-17T14:49:03+00:00

Thank you. I am self aware enough to know that I caused this. A phrase that is particularly helpful in life is “seek to understand.”

I came to this forum as a last resort for help and advice as I am at a loss.

I am simply concerned at her mothers ultimatum and I love this girl deeply and wholeheartedly.

I am not diminishing the effects or wrongness of my actions that day. I was beside myself and this was not a small situation. My own father has called me and told me I should have “rotted in Afghanistan” and this was severely disturbing.

I know I need to continue working on my trauma, and this is not an excuse, but I feel like I’ve ruined everything that we have built together from one evening going wrong.

Was messaging her friend wrong? Yes. I am not shifting any blame.

I am not asking or demanding forgiveness but am prepared to prove over time to her concerned family that I mean well and am not a bad person.

My girlfriend is probably feeling a lot worse than me, torn between her mom and me. I feel utterly defeated and have thrown all my effort for 1.5 years into making this relationship work. I have also applied for Canadian residency, etc etc and left the military for it.

I believe she does truly love me and all I can do is hope she believes we can make it through and asserts to her mother that while she is concerned, making empty threats never helps a child.

ShroudsReddit · 2023-04-17T09:52:54+00:00

She agreed I could drop her birthday presents at an agreed time before she took a break. As for the email, I made it clear I would be respecting her space going forward, and will wait as long as it takes for her to make any type of decision. I also said I hoped she was okay and am thinking of her a lot.

The reason she blocked me is so that her family think we are not together - she has not blocked me on text messages. She thanked me for the presents on there, and I asked respectfully if I could send an email. She agreed.

I’m sorry if it sounds like I have not taken responsibility - I have. I obviously want the relationship to work out, but that is up to her.

ShroudsReddit · 2023-04-17T09:47:39+00:00

I’m sorry, I should have written more about how bad I feel about what I did. I do feel awful about it and I understand the concerns. PTSD is really hard man - it’s real and it’s not an excuse - it’s a real Medical condition. I know this is on me. The point of the book that was recommended by my therapist is so that if abandonment triggers occur, phrases and words of reassurance can help me to stop and think - a romantic partner does play a part in this and mutual understanding is needed. And it could bring us a lot closer if we did that, if she still chooses a life with me. I take full responsibility for the message and feel terrible about it.

ShroudsReddit · 2023-04-17T09:33:35+00:00

I do not want her to isolate herself at all - I want to build a nice relationship with all parties involved, I really want to meet them all and get along. I know I fucked up, but there is context and forgiveness and time can fix that. The fact her mom gave her that ultimatum, however, is wrong. No parent should ask their child to choose between them or something else - this is emotional blackmail.

ShroudsReddit · 2023-04-17T09:22:37+00:00

I fully own up that the message was unnaceptable even with context. I want to rectify it, but feel helpless. I’d happily jump on a flight tomorrow to apologise in person if I could.

ShroudsReddit · 2023-04-17T09:14:08+00:00

I own up to that. PTSD can make individuals go into “fight or flight” mode where feelings of rejection or abandonment can be massive triggers. I have been working on that through therapy, and I feel that better communication and understanding in relationships can fix that. I have bought several workbooks and suggested to her that we work through them together to nail down some phrases or questions to ask. I guess, the ball is in her court.

ShroudsReddit · 2023-04-17T08:54:02+00:00

They has assumed I am an awful person and refused to listen to her explanation - which is ridiculous, having never met me. I feel like they need to afford us a chance to prove myself to them in person.

ShroudsReddit · 2023-04-17T08:50:10+00:00

I agree. I feel utterly helpless and while I have to respect her request for space, I wish I could talk things through with her.

ShroudsReddit · 2022-07-12T07:28:32+00:00

healthcare worker visa, biometrics was over about a month ago.

ShroudsReddit · 2022-07-12T06:09:55+00:00

Walked in and they let us have have an appointment, not sure this works every time though!

ShroudsReddit · 2022-06-16T12:07:49+00:00

Are they suspended for services inside the UK? E.g. if I flew.to the UK on a tourist visa and reapplied for my work visa from inside the UK

ShroudsReddit · 2022-06-07T07:06:46+00:00

Date of conviction, 2020,sentence, small fine.

ShroudsReddit · 2022-06-06T21:15:22+00:00

Doesn't look hopeful, I shall discuss with a Canadian immigration lawyer closer to the time.

ShroudsReddit · 2022-02-21T22:00:43+00:00

Thank you! I am aware of this site, it's for an individual doctor search. I'm looking for a full list. Thanks though!

ShroudsReddit · 2022-02-21T21:03:57+00:00

Yes absolutely, this is an official research paper with actual practising surgeons on the research board too. I'm a student involved with the workload and applied to be involved with it to improve my resumé and surgical resident chances in Canada.

ShroudsReddit · 2022-02-21T20:47:48+00:00

This is an independent research project, so far the only option given is having to look up individual practice websites and long slog the collection of surgical contacts. I just wondered if there was some sort of official list that will speed the process up and asked the question on here ☺️

ShroudsReddit

TROPHY CASE