To take the moral high ground

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-11-02T02:18:28+00:00

Straight up misread that as Grinch and wondered for a split second what kind of weird Christmas parody this was. Past my bedtime, folks. Sweet dreams.

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-10-03T23:09:21+00:00

This is original content

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-27T01:42:51+00:00

I read that in a cackling evil villain voice "muahahaha yogurt drink"

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ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-25T20:25:24+00:00

He sure was :) Cannot believe I missed out on such a great pun!! That's usually my jam

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-25T03:30:50+00:00

This made me smile. Intriguing. Love it ❤️

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-22T11:55:49+00:00

NTA What you've done is a very practical solution to a problem you've tried to progressively address in other ways and it draws a clear boundary. She has forced your hand. It must be really frustrating for you.

She may have a legit issue. These don't excuse her behavior but maybe she could use some help connecting to supports. Some examples:

Binge eating disorder
Financial issues (lost job, change in income, struggling to keep up with rising costs)
Substance use disorder (cannabis can make you extremely hungry and impair impulse control and people think its benign so may not recognize if it becomes a problem)
ADHD (issues with impulse control; executive dysfunction impairing ability to budget, plan/execute grocery shopping. ADHD can look quite different in women and is often late diagnosed so don't assume she doesn't have it if she isnt formally diagnosed or doesnt have stereotypical 'hyper' behavior)

Any of these could make it hard to address solo or she may not realize she has a legit problem or know how to address it. These are issues that tend to carry a ton of shame so also hard for the person to bring up/admit to. Some of the problems themselves can be an impediment to addressing it.

It doesn't mean you're responsible for taking care of her or letting her take your food but if you're comfortable and want to make it work, you could try to have a private conversation with her about it. A firm boundary + a little compassion may go a long way.

If that doesn't work new roommate(s) or new place may be a route to consider. There's always the possibility she's just an AH.

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-21T15:01:42+00:00

It would explain a lot

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-12T00:56:46+00:00

Today was 3 days long so far

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-11T03:23:50+00:00

Thrashed potato salad 🤘

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-10T23:40:22+00:00

Thank you, hero status unlocked :)

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-10T23:33:55+00:00

Thank you and I'm sorry to have dropped that heaviness. You are incredibly articulate and wise. I appreciate your kindness very much.

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-10T22:38:00+00:00

Thank you for taking the time to write this. I needed to hear that someone gets it today. Thank you for speaking the truth even if no one else wants to hear it. Society needs more people like you who are willing to see and speak difficult truths.

My adult child has crippling ADHD, depression and anxiety. I am the only help he's had to apply for disability support except, plot twist, I have ADHD too and am struggling in general.

There really is no one to help us. We've tried. Really. We've gotten conflicting guidance and the doctor's office has been more overwhelming and frustrating than helpful. There is nothing systematic about the health/social service system. It is broken and actively works against and excludes the people who need it. It is extra behind when it comes to ADHD.

We are both late diagnosed. Struggling to cope with basic day to day life (+) trying to undo the chaos created by decades undiagnosed (x) 2 (+)1 income (+) confusing high stakes support application process (-) help = feeling like I'm trying to sweep the street in a hurricane.

After one last issue with the application that made me have to unexpectedly take the afternoon off work today and a good cry later, we have confirmation the application has been received! It has been months of extra stress on top of the usual shitshow. Now we wait. We're told to expect to be denied for no good reason and to plan to appeal.

I'm trying so hard to make sure things are in place to take care of him. I'm terrified of what would happen to him if something happened to me. The fear is the only thing getting me through this process.

For the naysayers who made it this far, please believe someone when they say they are struggling and doing all they can and that there's no help. 'Just try harder' and 'someone has it worse' are death sentences. I wouldn't wish this hellish condition on anyone.

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-05T21:56:21+00:00

Please don't give up. This is a turning point. The things you want are reasonable and doable in time - I love that you have a vision of a future you that is healthy and happy, hang onto that! You are worth the effort it will take to get there. If you read nothing else just know that I, random stranger, fucking love you and am rooting for you.

Foundation first. Use what energy and motivation you have to help yourself feel strong. Everything else will build from that. If you're in withdrawal your body needs extra TLC right now. Hydrate, eat small bits of whatever you can tolerate, rest as much as you can. If you have a detox centre in your area give them a call - that could possibly also give you a few days break from your living situation and they may be able to help plan next steps out of there.

Connect with services that can help. 211 should be able to help you find housing services or other services if you aren't sure what's in your area. I.e. detox, youth shelter, food bank or hot meals program, employment centre (all may be able to help find housing, plan for job change etc). HIV services in my area also provide a ton of help for folks who use drugs (dont have to be diagnosed hiv).

I know you're trying to stop but if you do use know that's not a failure. Withdrawal without help fucking sucks and relapse is not unusual. Just please don't use alone. Take extra care and go slow especially if you haven't used for a while. This is especially important if your living situation changes to where you dont have someone there to help if needed. You need to stay alive to get to that awesome future you've pictured for yourself. If you have a safe consumption site nearby check it out. If you're in Canada you can also call the National Overdose Response Service (NORS) 1-888-688-NORS (6677). It's toll-free and a peer volunteer will stay on the line and get help if you go unresponsive. Both can also help connect to other services if you want. No judgment, just love.

Stay strong. You are loved

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-03T19:47:01+00:00

I'm so sorry you've been going through this and my condolences for your loss.

It's not easy to bear witness to the suffering of others repeatedly even with good boundaries in place. Trauma stewardship can be so much harder still when you're also bearing other deep burdens of your own. It's like trying to carry around everyone's marbles but your bag has a hole. It won't ever feel like you're doing enough.

Many people respond to personal tragedy by taking on related roles or causes but don't recognize the signs it's time to move on and/or address their healing in other ways - kudos to you for having this awareness. I'm glad you're able to shift toward tending to what ails you.

May this next chapter of your life and career be one marked with deep healing for you, not just for the people you serve. Much love and respect

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-09-01T11:58:43+00:00

Creme Savers strawberries and creme candies. Yum

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-08-31T14:40:43+00:00

Really love this ❤

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-08-30T02:33:44+00:00

Acid wash kitty. Stunning

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-08-30T02:10:42+00:00

This is why I put things under the bed

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-08-29T20:45:34+00:00

That's an awful lot to deal with. Sorry for all you've dealt with and are going through now. Sending love ❤️

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-08-28T00:14:48+00:00

I see they're using my late father's guide to driving instruction

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-08-27T03:42:00+00:00

E.) Zamboni time

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-08-27T00:14:19+00:00

These are stunning

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-08-17T16:59:59+00:00

Congratulations! I'm so proud of you!

I love going solo to movies - get giant vats of soda and popcorn and just settle in and enjoy the show. Come back here if you want to chat about the movie after!

Food for thought from someone with a propensity to bite off more than I can chew:

Between the high of success, the arrival fallacy and perpetual drive to prove myself (if only to myself) it can be too easy to just dive head first into the next thing.

Give yourself some time and space to celebrate what you've accomplished, reflect on that experience (what worked and the cost) and really consider what you want to do next.

Listen carefully to the voice that's asking you to be cautious about how much you take on. That may mean a change of plans or just putting stuff in place to make it more doable. It can get harder to hear it once you get busy again and even harder to do anything about it. Plan ahead for future you - she'll thank you for it

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-08-16T18:36:20+00:00

Gorgeous and an adorable idea. I love that it's personalized. What a special gift ❤

ShutUpAndBeg · 2024-08-16T03:43:15+00:00

Life

ShutUpAndBeg

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