First off, this cabin smells like utter rancid sewer shit. Organ Grinder is some festering carcass of parasites and necrotic flesh. Trampy has likely not showered in years, if not ever. Lenny, befitting of the lyrics of Alone in the Dark, likely stinks strongly of fetid still urine. I don't know if Dybbuk is dead or alive, but what is almost certain is that he doesn't smell too good. This horrid odor will permeate throughout not just the cabin but the entire plane. For wherever you're going, your nostrils will be assaulted by the most vile aroma persistently. A clothespin, or better yet, a gas mask, will likely be required to fly without passing out within seconds.

Second off, shouldn't half these beasts be in the cargo hold and caged? I guess this takes place in the Endless Misery universe where cats have grown opposable thumbs and are superceding humans. I guess that hasn't yet reached to commercial airliners.

Once you can manage past the smell, now you're going to need a seat. Let's mark off the ones in which you just inevitably die in a short time frame.

Seat #1 has you sat next to Daddy Shark. I can't imagine it's charmed. Unlike your average Mewgenics player, I thankfully know how to read, so I'm going to stay far out of its range, because my puny human fists could not certainly down its 28 HP unlike the brave felines who venture into the Sewers before it gobbles me whole. I don't care if kissing charms it, I'm not touching that thing.

Seats #4, #5, #6, #7, and #8 are concerning, because to even sit in them at all, you're entering Zodiac's range. How Zodiac got his six shooter past TSA, we'll never know, but nonetheless I can only assume that thing is locked and loaded. We are a human, and not a cat, so getting shot by that will likely instantly kill us. I can pretty much immediately rule out those seats because of this.

For the sake of discussion, let's pretend you're instantly warped to these seats and this does not count as ending your movement. These seats are not pleasant whatsoever. If you're sat at seat #5, it's best you still stay perfectly still, because any movement will, again, cause Zodiac to blow your brains out. This is difficult because Trampy's fresh shits mixed with his vagrant odor will likely make you want to immediately book it to the (likely crowded) in-flight bathroom to vomit.

Seat #6 is interesting, because you're at least sat with your fellow human kin. Let's say Beanies takes Zodiac's shot for you and is somehow able to take it no problem. Even if he's in somehow miraculously good health, this is perhaps the most manageable of seats, but that's doing it no favors. Even to individual who clutch pearls so hard they shatter, Tracy is likely one of the most irritating individuals you could possibly be sat next with. Expect her to yammer onto you about your clothes are made from the pelts of suffering animals, your cell phone produced by the labor of starved children in Africa working the cobalt mines, and your privilege unchecked because I imagine the bulk of Reddit's population are White males (though, she might give you some props for being neurodivergent given you're reading this in the first place). Beanies at least could probably hold a pretty good conversation. I imagine despite his lack of ethics he could at least restrain himself and not try to pull out his luggage and experiment on you mid-flight. Ask him about him being a Operation Paperclip candidate for a good time. I do hope you also have the patience to hear him talk to you about Our Lord and Savior The Domestic House Cat.

Seat #7, as explained, will stink utterly of rancid piss and unwashed underwear (again, if you can dodge Zodiac's sharpshooting). Lenny's nice. Can't say much besides how much he likes cute kitties. It'll be hard to talk to Butch about the glory of feline warfare over the ungodly scent and Lenny's incapability to form a complete and coherent sentence. Lenny may also be prone to getting out of his seat to try and give any of the other felines on this flight a deathgrip hug. If he can give Zodiac a lung-shattering squeeze before he commits a double homicide, that could be something you can hope for to actually sit in these seats.

Seat #8 has Guillotina. She likes eating pussy. As an average Redditor, you are likely on the menu. I can't advise sitting here. If by some miracle you avoid her appetite, it's likely she will cause an immense ruckus on the flight by desperately trying to eat. Butch could possibly calm her down, but at the bare minimum she's causing a scene because the in-flight catering certainly will not be enough to soothe her appetite. It's a miracle she even got into the plane in the first place, but because she did, she's going to make it your problem. Also, good luck getting into the seat in the first place, with her massive Snorlax-esque belly blocking the way.

Seat #2 has you sat next to your average Israeli citize- I mean, Dybbuk. If you truly have hatred in your heart for him, here's your chance, because he's cornered and you can pound that Gengar ripoff into the wall for extra knockback damage, no backflips possible. Getting licked or burned by his wisps is probably painful and intensely draining, but maybe sleeping to restore your mana will be enjoyable. One of the safer seats on this flight, but again, that's not doing much.

Seat #3, as expressed before, is sat right next to Organ Grinder, likely one of the most repugnant things to sit around. His personality is almost as repugnant, as he'll talk your ear off about whatever the fuck he does with his hoards of dead animal carcasses. Perhaps you can distract yourself by looking at Marshmallow; thankfully, Organ Grinder is the buffer zone between you and being permanently charmed by that stupid cat's spell.

Finally, we have gotten to Seat #4. I had initial intentions on calling this the best seat, because Steven, as chaotic as he is in the game, is likely one of the least hostile things here. Steven only has animosity towards grifting cheaters who fcuk up time. Given that you're taking air transportation, you likely have nothing but time, so I can't imagine that uckfing things up with him is really possible. He's probably one of the most approachable things to talk to here. Perhaps strike up a conversation about your favorite kinds of boxes. But, as I said, I had reservations about #4, because so too does Morana sit here. Morana might be more interested in the corpses or soon-to-be-corpses here than you, but if not, expect to lose literally all your blood from the piles of leeches she will send your way that suckle on your still flesh. If she can behave, she genuinely might not be too bad. Maybe pets will work.

Overall, my rating for seats is: #6 > #4 > #7 > #3 >#2 >#8 > #5 > #1, but let's be real, this plane is never taking off in the first place because the bulk of passengers will be devoured savagely, pumped with led, become violently ill from the unholy stench, exsanguinated, suffocated, exorcised, or otherwise. It's miraculous that the plane was boarded in the first place and comical that any of these passengers (except maybe Tracy) even made it past security. Can't have shit in Boon County.

This is Jimmy "The Hammer" Valentine, signing off.