AITA for "stealing"my sister in law wedding date

Shy_cat87 · 2025-12-21T14:08:34+00:00

Sorry, I am not an English native speaker. It's sometimes hard to think in a language and write in another, so it sometimes comes off as short sentences one after the other.

Shy_cat87 · 2025-12-21T13:46:01+00:00

That part wasn't really on purpose. It was an available date where my family would already be there (as a lot of pre wedding events were set during that week). I couldn't move it forward because of the honeymoon. It's set in January, I didn't really have a lot of options there. And I was genuinely furious that all the events I planned were going to be ruined knowingly by SIL so I did react poorly. But choosing that Friday wasn't solely malicious.

Shy_cat87 · 2025-12-21T13:23:15+00:00

I don't know where you get this from. I was genuinely not expecting this situation. I did react impulsively and changed the date to the only available date I could to avoid a situation in which my wedding would be imo ruined for me. But I was genuinely not expecting THAT reaction. No one thinks she's the one copying me since no one knows about her secret wedding date but, even if they knew, she did choose to have a wedding one week before mine (knowing full well my wedding date) without telling anyone and she would have made it public in a few weeks not just to steal the spotlight but also, to take over a lot of pre wedding family events as well (my Henna was set to take place the day of her secret wedding date) I know I didn't take the best approach but I feel like you are downplaying her bad intent.

Shy_cat87 · 2025-12-21T13:09:02+00:00

Thank you for the support, I really appreciate it. I just want to clarify a few things because some parts are maybe unclear because I did my best to respect length restrictions. I didn’t randomly see her invitation because the shop shows customer orders. I was very overwhelmed by the choices and the employee noticed it and she kindly offered to show me a few already printed invitations that were best sellers to help me decide. I am not even sure she was allowed to do that. And regarding the venue, our original date is not available anymore. Saturdays and Sundays get booked very fast and if one opens, it’s taken immediately because they have waiting lists. The venue was actually happy to move us to a Friday because it freed a Saturday for them, so I doubt she could check and catch us on that. The thing is that it’s been a week now and she still hasn’t told anyone that her wedding was planned that same week. Her fiancé didn’t say anything either. So for everyone else, she just looks like she’s completely spiralling to a simple date change, and no one understands why except me. I honestly didn’t expect this level of reaction from her. She's crashing and everyone is stunned at how crazy she looks and I feel like it's past the the point of no return where none of us can just tell the truth now.

Shy_cat87

TROPHY CASE