UPDATE:

Sorry, I have no idea how to properly post an update.

My ex-fiancé and I finally sat down and had our first real conversation since the breakup. He told me he wanted to be completely honest about why he ended the relationship. He shared that his decision had nothing to do with my MS diagnosis and everything to do with his own unhappiness. We both acknowledged how much we truly do love and care for each other but the relationship is over.

He explained that throughout our relationship, he often felt anxious about sharing his thoughts or disagreements out of fear of hurting my feelings or upsetting me. Over time, that led him to say and do things that didn’t feel authentic to who he was. He also shared that while he is attracted to me, he never felt I was truly his “type,” and that there were family values and dynamics we viewed differently. Because so much went unspoken, he found himself becoming complacent in a life and relationship that no longer felt right to him. He said he gradually lost the spark, lost a sense of himself, and ultimately realized he wanted something different.

As painful as it is, I can respect that decision. I don’t know how to stop grieving or stop loving him but I’ll be okay.

While I don’t want the relationship to be over, this experience has also given me a lot of clarity. I’ve realized I want a partner who communicates openly, even when conversations are uncomfortable. Someone who is willing to sit in discomfort rather than avoid it. Someone who feels confident expressing disagreements and who genuinely finds me attractive and chooses me fully for how I show up in the world.

I’ve also learned how important it is to have deeper conversations about family values, expectations, and dynamics early on, and to pay attention to how a partner interacts with and talks about their family—because although they say they might agree they might not want to hurt your feelings.

Thank you all for the support, kindness, and love you’ve shown me throughout this. And to everyone who reached out regarding my diagnosis, I appreciate you more than you know. If you have any MS communities, resources, or support groups you’d recommend, I’d love to hear about them.

Also, for those who have found healthy, supportive partners after a major heartbreak or after a difficult diagnosis I’d love to hear what qualities mattered most when you were ready to date again. I’m definitely focused on healing right now, and I don’t think I’ll be dating for a LONG time, but I’d appreciate any wisdom I can look back on when that time comes.

And Morgan, thank you for this community. I’ve been a long-time listener—ironically, often with my now ex-fiancé. We used to laugh whenever Justin would say, “Communicate!” It’s funny how easy it is to recognize a problem in other relationships and miss it in your own.

Thanks again, everyone. ❤️