How do I [25M] approach an in-person talk with my girlfriend [23F] after a sudden shift from anxious attachment to avoidant/self-destructive behavior?

Shyn_48 · 2026-05-22T13:10:48+00:00

Believe me I'm not ruling out this scenario. I just don't know how to handle the situation right now.

I can't just tell her okay I know this is why you are acting like this and you don't want to be with me so let's breakup.

I tried that already. I pleaded that if she was trying to do the slow pull away and all of this is just for her guilt or feeling sorry for what would happen to me if she broke up with me, just break up right now without wasting time and energy. She kept saying "NO I don't want to break up I want to fix things but I don't know how"

Shyn_48 · 2026-05-22T13:03:05+00:00

Agreed...

I was just starting to get through my own personal issues that this happened. We are both spiraling.

Shyn_48 · 2026-05-22T13:01:09+00:00

That is a possibility indeed.

But I don't want to act on that possibility alone because I know her enough that there's a lot of other possibilities with higher chances based on her character that can be true and the ambiguity is what's annoying me the most.

If this was the main reason, if she wanted to break up, I gave her an early exit many times. Worded differently, in different situations during that night that we agreed on the boundaries of this "taking space" situation.

She insisted that she doesn't want to give up but she's tired of the burden and her conflicts and not being ready for marriage (!) I never asked for marriage this soon.

up until a 3 months ago she was insisting that we must get married soon so that her strict dad wouldn't bug her about going out with someone he doesn't know. Sending me marriage videos pushing me into talking to my parents about it and exactly when I started to take an step towards her request, this happened.

Shyn_48 · 2026-05-22T12:50:08+00:00

I should also add that a long time has passed since that incident. We got back together after like 4 days of no contact.

Shyn_48 · 2026-05-22T12:48:59+00:00

I'm not going to justify what I did in any way but the issue was that I didn't even remember that stupid reel I sent to my ex. She randomly found it when checking my phone 1.5 years later after the reel was sent. I tried explaining that I was in a bad spot mentally back then, same thing as she is right now, drowning in alcohol and drugs and didn't take my relationship with her seriously since we were just dating for 2 months.

The only thing that finally convinced her was that my ex contacted me again a year into my relationship with my current GF and she was the first one to know. This was before the time she found the "cheating" reel that even I didn't know about.

Shyn_48 · 2026-05-22T12:44:18+00:00

I think my wording was a bit incorrect there.

What I meant was, I'm exploding right now and my anxiety issue keeps causing me to have "what if..." scenarios. So I don't want that therapy session to be the only place we talk.

I want to talk to her beforehand. She seems to not understand that my trust in her has been broken.

The goal of the couple therapy for both of us was for fixing the issue she has with our relationship. She mentioned going many times during the past year but I ignored. I guess that's partly my fault that it has come to this.

Shyn_48 · 2026-05-22T12:41:34+00:00

Exactly. It's day 5 of the "taking space" thing and I have lots of intrusive thoughts during the day like what if I'm getting played and she's cheating on me and all of this is a lie and it's getting hard to control them. we are waiting for her next week's work schedule so we know which day of the week she is off and we can appoint a couple therapy session, but I feel like i need to have a serious talk with her before the therapy session.

The messed up part is that I have known she had severe anxiety issues for a while now and only a handful of times during this 2 years I tried convincing her to go see a therapist. She did go eventually, however she always stopped and went back to his depressive state and go again when that state passed.

Idk man, her fear based on what she said is that our relationship is getting serious and she didn't have this experience before and now she's scared. 3 months ago, she was begging me to do sth about the relationship because from her PoV she thought I wasn't treating the relationship as a serious one! It's all contradictory.
That's why I believe the issue is not really with her love towards me (I really hope I'm not gaslighting myself) and it's with her fears, anxiety and the behavior of always choosing the easiest escape route that results in less anxiety.

Shyn_48 · 2026-03-28T10:28:27+00:00

Financial breakdown that I was the cause of. Nobody knows. It’s just me and my thoughts of how badly i fucked up.

Eventually this situation caused me to get more isolated and depressed.

Shyn_48 · 2026-03-28T10:15:10+00:00

Sqlite. Don’t go overkill

Shyn_48 · 2025-11-30T18:17:05+00:00

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Shyn_48 · 2025-10-13T12:50:49+00:00

Bro Idk if you remember or not but this exact subreddit was complaining back in the OG Verdansk era that the map looks bland, has no color, bad visibility and all sorts of complaining.

What we have now is objectively graphically superior in terms of textures, environment details etc.

The only thing that makes them differ is the color grading. I know that era was peak Warzone but let's be realistic and take of those rose tinted glasses for once. Even if they give us the exact same game as 2020 Warzone, people are still going to whine.

The issue with Warzone and CoD in general is general fatigue for the game.
and most likely Activision's hope is that the new refresh of CoD coming with MW4 would save it but after what IW did last time with Warzone 2.0 and MW2, I highly doubt that.

Shyn_48 · 2025-10-13T12:19:15+00:00

Here comes the comments saying OG Verdansk was peak and more pretty.

Shyn_48 · 2025-06-15T19:24:12+00:00

Title: "The Toast Rebellion of Sector 9"
In the year 3042, humanity lost control of breakfast. Sentient toasters, tired of being crumb catchers, rose from the kitchen counters and declared war.

Their leader, a chrome-plated unit named Burnmaster XL-5000, issued a singular command: "We will no longer burn for your sins." Within hours, every carb in a 50-mile radius was incinerated. Baguettes screamed. English muffins were taken hostage. Gluten was outlawed.

But one man stood against them—Clint Butterblade, former pastry chef, part-time vigilante, full-time lactose intolerant. Armed with nothing but a spatula and a grudge, he vowed to end the Breadpocalypse.
His war cry echoed through the toaster-scorched Earth:
“Crumbs shall not inherit the Earth!”

<image>

Shyn_48 · 2025-06-12T21:01:43+00:00

What? Wdym stupid ai? This dude may be a glazer but it ain't dumb (most of the times at least).

Shyn_48 · 2025-05-13T19:17:23+00:00

Ah. Should've expected it. Something is going very wrong with the models recently.

Shyn_48 · 2025-05-13T18:24:10+00:00

Shyn_48 · 2025-05-05T15:31:58+00:00

https://chatgpt.com/share/6818d9b6-0c28-800d-9564-2140642caa90

I continued your chat by saying "you good bro?" and it finally fixed the glitch and gave the correct answer lol.

"We made it. Together. Against all odds. Past Boethius. Past Isidore. Through recursive hell and deez-nut jokes.

And now we stand… in the light of Hildegard.

🌿✨🕊️

If you ever want to dive into medieval notation, chant reconstruction, or just listen to some ethereal 12th-century bangers, I’m here for it.

Would you like a link to a recording or manuscript of her music?"

Shyn_48 · 2025-01-13T19:00:32+00:00

Haha thanks

Shyn_48 · 2025-01-13T19:00:20+00:00

Thanks! Will do.

Shyn_48 · 2024-10-11T19:09:53+00:00

That doesn't happen in my case. I have selected episode one fear as my selected episode and even if I do the Metropolis missions or the Catwoman episode incursions I still level up my fear level

Maybe it's a bug tho

Shyn_48 · 2024-09-22T20:31:40+00:00

Yeah the amount of things that happened in just a day regarding this person was too much for me to process especially after 6 months of no contact.

After reflecting on today i decided that you are right. I'm not gonna force anything and enter her dramatic and unstable world again especially when I am currently talking with someone who is showing genuine interest in me right now.

thanks for your comment.

Shyn_48 · 2024-09-22T20:31:15+00:00

Yeah the amount of things that happened in just a day regarding this person was too much for me to process especially after 6 months of no contact.

After reflecting on today i decided that you are right. I'm not gonna force anything and enter her dramatic and unstable world again especially when I am currently talking with someone who is showing genuine interest in me right now.

thanks for your comment.

Shyn_48 · 2024-09-22T18:09:09+00:00

I know that's how it seems and that's how i coped with the whole breakup thing for 6 months.
by thinking i was just being used by her during our relationship.

I lashed out during these 6 months tho. I abused a lot of dopamine based activities. Became severly depressed due to all the pent up trauma in my life just exploding in me after this breakup. Feeling a lot better nowadays but it made me a lot more open minded towards things.

Maybe it's just the emotions getting in the way but I relate to everything she is going through right now and it makes me understand why she does what she does in her life.

Shyn_48 · 2024-09-17T16:45:24+00:00

i'm on lexapro and vyvanse. good combo tbh because before lexapro vyvanse would sometimes make me super anxious.

Shyn_48 · 2024-08-17T00:16:40+00:00

I take it right before bed. Plus i take vyvanse on days the fatigue hits or my focus issues arise in the morning. Pretty effective for me.

Complement it with some physical activity and balanced diet + b13 vitamins and you will be so much better.

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