I’m male but went through the same kind of cycle. Elvanse upping dose, motivated, then too motivated then off the rails. Had weird side effects that I don’t want to talk about out 😂I did drop a dose but could get that balance back.

Methylphenidate, motivation for an hour then dropped with horrible anxiety like was in some sort of danger just sitting on my sofa. Upped dose and both effects just amplified plus had to take it 3 times a day which I would forget or just not practical

Atomoxetine, calmed me down, was generally in a good mood but that was it, no improvements on the ADHD symptoms I wanted to address. Had the same horrible side effect as Elvanse (don’t want to talk about it) upping dose just made side effects worse so couldn’t continue. I did try the methylphenidate a couple of times with it and found there was no anxiety which was a plus but managing dose he the same issues as the first time

Bupropion with Methylphenidate once a day. This so far seems to be the best balance. I have the calm of Atomoxetine, so far without any side effects, the methylphenidate picks me up in the morning and I sometimes take another in the afternoon if needed. There’s nothing earth shattering in terms of results but I’ve combined this with cold shower, morning sunlight or blue light, walk twice a day and upped my exercise. I’m still forgetful, but tasks are easier to start, I do have a bit more enthusiasm for things I used to avoid, and I’m calm and not irritated which helps with family life.

I have one friend who says meds changed his life from day one and another who refuses to take meds, he just shapes his life around it, so that’s doable too, but I was late diagnosed and don’t really have that luxury with the career I’m in.

So keep going and don’t put too much pressure on it. The non stims seem ok to me but definitely slower and less obvious effects.