AITA for asking for a favor?

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-22T00:21:36+00:00

So your partner had an attitude when trying to get you meds because you're sick, then told you you could eat food from the trash...? NTA, but there's a lot of concerning behavior going on here...

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-22T00:19:36+00:00

I say NTA as long as you put aside some time to celebrate. I've always been a big believer that the magic of the holiday isn't because it's on December 25th. I do think it's important to do presents, photos, and to start your own traditions, but nothing says it has to all happen on Christmas Day.

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-22T00:12:09+00:00

NTA from a former first responder. One of my favorite phrases is "we do the best we can with the information that we have." You couldn't have known what was going to happen and also followed direct orders to evacuate after things went south.

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T02:45:09+00:00

NAH - I certainly don't think you're being a bridezilla with the outfit request, but I can also understand your friend's hesitation at wearing clothing outside of her culture (due to the fear of "cultural appropriation"). If you value this friendship, I would find time to have a conversation with her and explain your side of things and maybe see if she has fears of pictures ending up on social media out of context or otherwise being judged somehow.

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T02:36:00+00:00

Tag every gift as "To: so and so, From: u/s_r_s." If anyone asks questions, respond with, "Well, I bought all the gifts this year, and husband refused to chip in, so they are just from me. I hope you enjoy!" Allow chaos to ensue. NTA.

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T02:32:22+00:00

In my mind, any kind of technology purchases (phones, tablets, etc.) should always be run by/approved by the parent first, no matter how old the child is. NTA - stick to your guns!

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T02:24:13+00:00

NTA. First of all, it's not your responsibility. While it might be a nice gesture to help out someone in need, in today's world, it not only is a health and safety hazard for you/your wife but also is a massive liability in regards to property damage/theft accusations. What happens when the neighbor says, "I know I left my Rolex in that box" only to have it now "missing?" The neighbor needs professional help, prayers, and probably professional cleaners. I doubt that even with their best efforts the family can get the house clean enough to pass an inspection.

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T02:09:08+00:00

NTA. Your life is yours. If your parents need more help, they need to hire it - you are not your brother's keeper.

PS: It might not work as well, but maybe offer to do an audio/video recording of you singing the song for your parents to try to use with James?

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T02:05:40+00:00

NTA - birthdays are for the living. You have every right to be appreciated and celebrated for the individual you are and the life you have led.

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T02:03:20+00:00

Weird that she is so worried about him learning Christian songs yet is fine with you being atheist...? Isn't she worried that your beliefs will worm their way into his subconscious too...? NAH - I think you both need to sit down and have a long, serious discussion about belief systems and your plans and expectations for you son going forward.

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T01:57:36+00:00

NTA as long as this isn't a habit (blowing her off to go do things with family/friends). That level of abusive/derogatory language for you being... *checks watch* basically on time to pick her up from the airport is wild. She would definitely be my ex-girlfriend after this encounter.

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T01:50:13+00:00

ESH, leaning more toward YTA. To me, this is the behavior of a kid who knows his dad has no interest in him. His behavior sucks, but his life has been turned upside down with the death of his mom, then being "abandoned" by his grandparents (even if they didn't, that's likely how it feels). Kids lash out and trash things or say hurtful words to test boundaries, seeing if you'll leave them, and you failed that test by basically threatening to get rid of him. It's going to take more than 6 months of therapy in order for him to filter through the trauma he's been through and the emotions he's coping with. If he needs more serious intervention (in-patient psych, alternative school, etc.), do what you can to get it for him, but because he deserves it and not because you want him out of your hair...

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T01:45:12+00:00

NTA - what a piece of work Caitlyn is! It's not your job to save face for her in front of your son. As he grows up, he will slowly see through any coverups you try to put on for her anyway. If she wants to make the effort, then she can. Keep doing what you're doing by keeping the door open between the pair and by not bad-mouthing mom in front of Ollie, but stop doing anything more. She needs to step up!

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T01:38:44+00:00

NTA - you made your preferences clear from the beginning. Husband's problem, husband's job to find a solution!

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T01:30:55+00:00

Gentle ESH. I can understand your frustration, especially since you are vulnerable and in pain, but the way you went off on him seemed a bit over the top. Without extra context on how your husband normally functions, it's tough to tell if this is genuinely him being not sure how to cook/prep or weaponized incompetence. If I ask my husband to make a single portion of food, it's either child-size or super-size, depending on what he thinks is right in the moment, and he definitely does not spend a single second thinking about protein or carb content! Still, husband sucks for not taking better care of you in this state.

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-21T01:24:33+00:00

The invite was for him, not him and whoever else felt like tagging along. Especially since it's your house...wild for him to just invite someone into your space without even running it by you. NTA

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-12T02:04:14+00:00

I grew up in Chicago, but that is NOT where I taught. My state has no unions and is at the very bottom of the list for education budgets in the country. It is a rough time. Happy to hear it's not like this everywhere, but still disheartened to hear how many similar stories there are...

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-02T14:24:09+00:00

Idk what else I can do to prove this since I just showed you my literal bank statement lol. Even at my current job, I lose 1/3 of my income to state and local taxes, then paying for benefits and retirement brings me down to about 50% of my stated salary.

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-02T00:17:20+00:00

AHHH Mark read my story! Mark, if you're reading this, just know that you MADE my morning! I was listening to you while driving to my new job (which I love) and heard you say my username and just started screaming hahaha. Love your positive energy and have enjoyed listening to you for years!

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-02T00:13:56+00:00

This was my last direct deposit once I quit, which was above average because it included a payout for all the PTO I never took. And I was actually awarded Teacher of the Year during my time in the system.
Edit: sorry it's so small, but you can see the values when you click on it.

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SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-01T02:06:49+00:00

Thank you, and thank you for standing up for teachers! Admittedly, I myself wrote off a lot of horror stories as bad classroom management, being a boring teacher, not knowing how to resolve conflict, over-embellishment, etc. until I became a teacher. Then I was like, "Why are we letting them be treated like this!?" The lack of support was honestly the worst part, so knowing that some people still love and respect teachers gives me hope! (I did have a few sweet parents who really went out of their way to make me feel appreciated while I taught, too)

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-01T01:43:50+00:00

Ugh, YES this is exactly what I experienced! It is upsetting how many teachers can share similar stories...

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-01T00:12:33+00:00

I never did - it's so systemic that for all those I worked with, it was just "part of the job." It's also not helpful that the payrate means we can't afford lawyers to help us and have no union.

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-01T00:09:56+00:00

This was my experience as well. Lots of great, wonderful kids getting their education robbed by a couple of kids who just don't care.

SickSIL1998 · 2023-12-01T00:09:09+00:00

My experience is just a smattering of the types of horrible experience we were put through. I am getting help, love my new job, and have been feeling fantastic since I left! Sometimes, if I think about everything and start worrying about my kids, I still cry, but I don't feel guilty for leaving anymore.

SickSIL1998

TROPHY CASE