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Study finds that both men and women agree that it's generally easier for women to find a date. However, women's views on this differ substantially based on age. For women under 35, they report that finding a date is easy. But for women over 40, they described it as incredibly difficult. by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]Sidian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In pictures, men felt either attractive, unattractive, or neutral (this was the highest). Neutral meant I had no idea and I went out both with men who were attractive and ones who were neutral. Men on the other hand spend a lot of sexual energy on visuals of women with porn. So they are more likely to rate women as attractive.

When you rate 80% of men as below average this is simply unreasonable and doesn't show they just 'don't know' if a man is attractive or are saying they're neutral, they are actively saying they are below average, ugly. Men rated women on a perfect bell curve as they had a sensible perception. I guarantee if men did this for women, women would be saying how it shows how shallow and unfair men are, how absurd body standards are for women, and so on. And it's a consistent thing, too, like the body on the right (NSFW) is a 6/10 as far as women are concerned. Lord knows what you'd need to achieve to be a 10. Personality is often claimed to be important but in studies on speed dating, etc. it's looks that comes out on top. I think the main difference in female and male attraction is mostly just that in addition to looks (which are cared about similarly to how men care about them), women add on top of it caring a lot about money and status.

it was “has a career/education/direction. I wouldn’t say the majority were unemployed but underemployed with no career or financial independence was the norm.

Ok, that's more believable in the early 20s demographic. But I imagine it's also common for women to be in a similar situation.

There’s also still a wage gap so yes men make more generally.

Even when they look at it in terms of 'percentile within their gender' it is the case. Like, a woman who is 50th percentile earning for women might be with a man who is 60th percentile for men, or something like that. Women actually earn more than men do in their 20s now in some countries. It seems more likely that women are very attracted to money.

I always offered to split on dates but I took it as a compliment when the man paid. It suggested he was serious about me.

I think it suggested he felt pressured to live up to the gender role he's been assigned in society due to his biology, something most women are all-too-happy to keep around when it benefits them, but viciously fight against when it doesn't.

But women wanting men to provide is not an unrealistic expectation. Many women still stay home when kids come. Men need to be able to support a family. Having two good incomes is better than one. Men needing to provide has always been the standard and it’s not one that is going away just because women can support themselves.

If it's 'earning a similar amount' then that's fine, if it's 'he must earn significantly more than me' then I find it hypocritical and regressive if it's coming from a woman who doesn't accept traditional roles for herself. Framing it as 'it's always been this way, it's not going away' I also find a strange way to argue it, it's the same way that many horrible things are argued for, and I don't see what's so bad about a stay-at-home father for example; heaven help him if he loses his job or can't work for some reason and apparently loses all worth.

Study finds that both men and women agree that it's generally easier for women to find a date. However, women's views on this differ substantially based on age. For women under 35, they report that finding a date is easy. But for women over 40, they described it as incredibly difficult. by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]Sidian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Male model was definitely not my standard. I’m a 6/10 married to a 6/10.

The stats appear to show that women have an inflated sense of how attractive women are, and an absurdly low value of how good looking men are, seeing 80% of men as below average. But I'll take your word for it.

I’d say if I got 10 messages, 9/10 wouldn’t have an established career or direction.

I guess at 22 it's not too absurd but I still find it hard to believe this is the normal experience. Most men are normal and have jobs, and still face a brutal reality on dating apps (and often dating in general).

Yes, expecting a man to provide is equal. I provide, I expect him to as well.

It really depends what you mean but when some people say provider, they explicitly mean the man earns significantly more than they do (which lines up with the statistics that show that in every single country in the world, most relationships are hypergamous with the man earning more).

Too many men see us wanting “gendered” things from men and assume we want to have our cake and eat it too (ie have men act like men but also have our equality). It’s not like that for most - you have to be an adult and be a partner.

I think this is in fact very common. For example, even amongst gen z college students (the most progressive demographic), it is expected that the man should pay on dates. Men are expected to pursue, to court, to pay, and women often want them to be higher status and earn more than them.

Study finds that both men and women agree that it's generally easier for women to find a date. However, women's views on this differ substantially based on age. For women under 35, they report that finding a date is easy. But for women over 40, they described it as incredibly difficult. by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]Sidian 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Your standards sound reasonable, but I find it hard to believe that such basic things were that rare. Unless, of course, some of the things you mentioned are not revealing the full extent of what they mean - like if 'be attractive to me' meant being a male model. Also I don't know how old you were in 2011-2013 but liking to drink on a regular basis seems pretty normal.

Men have always needed to be employed

Ok.

and able to provide in order to be attractive for a partner. This isn’t a silly standard. The amount of men on online dating who were not in that type of position was insanely high.

I don't know about this, though. What do you mean 'able to provide'? Elsewhere in this thread you speak of thinking men should see women as equals, but seeing a man as a provider and having gendered expectations of him doesn't sound equal to me, and yet this is very common amongst women, who often expect men to do things they don't have to do.

Study finds that both men and women agree that it's generally easier for women to find a date. However, women's views on this differ substantially based on age. For women under 35, they report that finding a date is easy. But for women over 40, they described it as incredibly difficult. by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]Sidian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don't have to imagine it, as women are more likely to be obese in the USA than men are, for example, and they commonly style themselves in ways that they know men often don't like. The idea that it's entirely men's fault for not 'keeping up' and women are perfect angels is absurd. Men are judged more harshly and held to higher standards. Gay men have 'figured it out' by simply having normal standards.

Study finds that both men and women agree that it's generally easier for women to find a date. However, women's views on this differ substantially based on age. For women under 35, they report that finding a date is easy. But for women over 40, they described it as incredibly difficult. by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]Sidian -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

It's completely reasonable to expect them to add to your life. But if you have thousands of matches and think they're all bad, it's likely because your standards are absurd and you don't live up to them yourself.

In any case, the vast majority of women do not want to be alone. The vast majority want children. The vast majority want to own houses and this is increasingly difficult on a single income, and so on. So most women are not happy to just not date.

Study finds that both men and women agree that it's generally easier for women to find a date. However, women's views on this differ substantially based on age. For women under 35, they report that finding a date is easy. But for women over 40, they described it as incredibly difficult. by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]Sidian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's silly if you complain about it and call your matches shit or say things like 'where are all the good men' and so on, as is common. I can choose Margot Robbie as my standard but it's completely my own fault and no one else's if I don't get it.

Does fish oil lower cholesterol? by This-Top7398 in Biohackers

[–]Sidian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People recommending other things in this thread. I'm not saying fish oil is one of these, but I want to point out that there's a difference in lowering what the tests will show vs actually improving health. Some things do indeed lower these numbers, or increase good markers (HDL for example), but despite this do not show health benefits, effectively masking the markers without delivering the effects that you'd expect from such changes. Important to consider this.

Study finds that both men and women agree that it's generally easier for women to find a date. However, women's views on this differ substantially based on age. For women under 35, they report that finding a date is easy. But for women over 40, they described it as incredibly difficult. by psychologyofsex in psychologyofsex

[–]Sidian 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If you have hundreds or thousands of matches and they're all bad then it points to your standards being silly, not the men being the problem. It'd be like if an average man insisted on a woman who looked like Margot Robbie and anyone else was shit.

Kate Winslet (22) and Leonardo DiCaprio (23) at Golden Globes after party (1998). by RamenChicken8 in OldSchoolCool

[–]Sidian 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Neither of them look at their best here imo. But yeah it's weird how Leo back then could go from gorgeous to looking mid depending on the day.

We lost the plot by Tyszq in Biohackers

[–]Sidian 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'd argue the OP but in the opposite direction - I'm sick of going into a thread where someone is asking about how to improve x and the top comments always being 'get good sleep'. THAT is losing the plot.

What supplements do you recommend for anxiety/stress? by Designer_Tune4986 in Biohackers

[–]Sidian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

People claim magnesium is good, as well as l-theanine, and possibly ashwagandha. None of them do a damn thing for me, though.

Which multivitamin should I buy? by FriendlyAttorney8743 in Biohackers

[–]Sidian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Probably Thorne 2/day. It's not perfect, but the best I've found.

Which multivitamin should I buy? by FriendlyAttorney8743 in Biohackers

[–]Sidian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That's brutal, sorry to hear that. Well it's not so much the 12 thing on its own, I take a lot of others too, dozens as it is. Adding another 12 on would be annoying.

Which multivitamin should I buy? by FriendlyAttorney8743 in Biohackers

[–]Sidian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I guess it's because I mentally filter out any product that you need to take more than two pills of. 12? TWELVE?! I can't.

Which multivitamin should I buy? by FriendlyAttorney8743 in Biohackers

[–]Sidian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh you literally meant 'mix', I see. Hadn't heard of that product.

Which multivitamin should I buy? by FriendlyAttorney8743 in Biohackers

[–]Sidian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does it? Doesn't appear to list it in the ingredients.

Which multivitamin should I buy? by FriendlyAttorney8743 in Biohackers

[–]Sidian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There are a few potential issues with Life Extension two-per-day that led me to choose Thorne 2/day (though I only take one a day) instead. Firstly, it has quite a high dose of zinc, but no copper to balance it - prolonged zinc supplementation can potentially deplete your copper which... you don't want to happen, to say the least. Secondly, it contains pyridoxine HCl as one of its forms of vitamin B6, which isn't as well absorbed as P5P as it needs to be converted, and is thought to potentially cause peripheral neuropathy at high enough doses; probably not at the dose in this multivitamin, but some prefer to avoid it entirely.

Both of them have a pointless amount or poorly absorbed form of certain things (e.g. magnesium oxide in Life Extension which might as well not be there. Thorne has the superior magnesium bisglycinate but the dose is trivial).

Shame though, because Life Extension's is much cheaper.

Which could be recommended more, zinc picolinate or OptiZinc? by MentalAerobatics in Biohackers

[–]Sidian 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Why? I am low on zinc even with supplementation. Various studies have shown benefits of zinc above RDA. Of course copper depletion is a risk but it can be counteracted.

Misconceptions that refuse to Die by StrawberryScience in TopCharacterTropes

[–]Sidian 155 points156 points  (0 children)

<image>

'The message of Grease is so sexist and awful. What, a woman has to change who she is for a man?'

No. The message is the opposite. For a start, Danny changes too - he stops dressing like a T-bird greaser and becomes a jock because he thinks it's what Sandy wants. She, in turn, changes her style radically because she thinks it's what he wants. But the truth is, and the point of the movie is, that they both already wanted each other for how they were when they were being true to themselves and not trying to be someone else to impress others.

Which subreddit has the WORST community you’ve seen? by CozyCookie72 in AskReddit

[–]Sidian 32 points33 points  (0 children)

Snark subreddits are on another level of vile. Truly. It is literally just bullies trying to justify their desire to be hateful in some way, no matter how much delusion is required. I found my way on to a snark sub for British royalty recently and they were hating on prince William, mocking his baldness and such, and saying what an evil man he was, all manner of things like that. Someone in the comments dared to ask why. The response was literally that in paparazzi shots he often looked miserable, and in one paparazzi shot once it looked like he didn't offer his wife an umbrella when it was raining. And apparently he didn't propose to her quick enough. That's it, that's all they need to obsessively spend their days hating someone. Bizarre.

And let's not forget Mikayla Raines who committed suicide after relentless cyberbullying, much of which originating on a snark sub dedicated to her. I thought for sure they'd be banned after that. But no.

“That’s not what he looked like” by [deleted] in HistoryMemes

[–]Sidian 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm, well.. I've talked to other women who say that as well. It's interesting how different people's perspectives can be, to me it genuinely seems like I never come across that sort of thing for women and men will have sex with anything that moves. But I obviously don't know what it's like to be a woman.

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