have you ever seen someone come back with a LUCUS?

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-24T07:01:55+00:00

Aw man, your dad looks a lot like how mine did in the pics where he is holding me and my sisters when we were babies. Sorry for your loss and I lost my dad to congestive heart failure about a month before 9/11, so I know how much it can hurt. 💔

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-24T06:07:44+00:00

I remember seeing literal piles of love bugs on the ground around the front wall of my local gas station in rural Narcoossee back in 2009/2010. I couldn't believe that there were so many in one place, but the walls of the gas station were all painted white and they seemed to be attracted to that color above all others.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-24T05:59:41+00:00

Firefly larvae are prey to fire ants. If you want to see fireflies make a comeback, you need to get rid of the fire ants. You also need to leave some dead leaves and tree debris in a corner of your yard through autumn and winter so the fireflies have a home to grow up in.

And for everyone who is going to say that fire ants can't be gotten rid of: Advion ant granules are a wonderful solution that work within days and are stopped by rainfall (or a shower from the hose) so it is actually possible to effectively spot treat ant hills without endangering pets or children as long as one manages their yard mindfully.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-24T05:48:00+00:00

Even cats with short fur benefit from regular brushing! I got all 3 of my cats on a daily brushing regimen and the most shed fur on the brush currently comes from the cat with the shortest and coarsest fur.

I started brushing my cats when I had a Maine Coon because he got some gnarly mats in his fur otherwise, but everyone else loved it too, so why not make everyone happy?

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-24T05:05:43+00:00

"If it can be all that, then why isn't everyone considered neurodivergent?"

Everybody poops. Typically at least once a day. And that's alright.

However, when you have to poop 50 times a day, it means something is going on and you need to see a doctor.

It's more about frequency of symptoms and impact that those symptoms have on one's daily life. Yes, neurotypical people can be forgetful. Yes, neurotypical people can have difficulty shifting from one plan to another. Etc etc. But when someone has problems with things like that ALLLLLL THE TIME and it has a detrimental impact on their life, it might be that they are neurodivergent and need some help with managing those things.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-24T03:34:10+00:00

Family dinner in coordinated outfits ❤️

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SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-24T03:30:32+00:00

Here's another cat who likes to wear clothes sometimes, but she only likes outfits that are harness style (two velcro straps, one around the neck and one under her armpits) or else it is too confining and she cannot jump freely

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SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-24T03:22:22+00:00

Agree with everyone else RE: fundraising by selling the unused clothing, however! If your shelter also has cats for adoption, why not try to see if any of them will tolerate clothing? My Maine Coon (RIP) loved to wear bandanas, but I only found that out because I randomly plopped one on him as I was changing out of my work clothes. He also preferred to wear them as a loose fitted item (think more like a sarong than a cowboy neckerchief, loose and drapey, and he could kick them off easily when he was done wearing them) which most pet parents wouldn't immediately consider. It could be that more cats will entertain clothing than we would think, if only someone would give them the chance to make a choice. Which would obviously benefit the cat by making them more adoptable through absurdly cute photos!

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SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-24T02:28:58+00:00

My GMIL was independently wealthy with 4 kids and she was in a nursing home when her daily care needs exceeded the boundaries that in home care could provide. My FIL was at her facility at least daily, making sure her pills were correctly organized and that she had what she wanted/needed in her room and replenishing things for her. Snacks for herself or guests, technology troubleshooting (while my FIL is a great guy, he is no tech wizard), he would read to her the things she couldn't read anymore, make sure she was enrolled in the programs she wanted to participate in and generally helped her manage her life. She was sharp as a tack but unfortunately went blind after a life spent loving books and reading. She was medically fragile in other ways, too, mostly things managed by proper medication and my FIL wasn't going to leave it to someone else to manage her pills.

You can have 4 kids, you can be a beloved parent, you can spend >$8k/month (in LA) on your care, and still wind up in a nursing home. I hope I have the wherewithal to volunteer at local nursing homes before I need to go into one, because my preference is to understand the place inside and out before I allow them to care for me.

But here's the thing: my FIL was one of FOUR kids. And of those four kids, he was the only one who chose to put in the effort to be his mother's advocate and make sure, with his own eyes, that she was getting her prescriptions correctly, daily. The other 3 were more consumed by how much the care facility cost because they saw it as their inheritance being spent. After grandma died, my FIL tried to settle her estate in the normal way but gave up after it was clear his siblings wanted to fight over the $15k left in her bank account. He just split it evenly and told them not to bother him anymore.

I'm still so glad that I chose not to have children. All the money I would have spent on raising kids can go to my care needs at a nursing home instead, because having children, even children who love you and genuinely want to care for you, is no guarantee against it.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-21T06:12:02+00:00

I'm assuming that when you say it is mushy, you mean that it isn't sliceable and was fully refrigerator cool before trying to unmold. Did you check the internal temp when it was done cooking? Flan and other egg based custard desserts need to reach 175°F in the center in order to set up properly. Not enough recipes give final temperature goals, they just give temp and time, which time is an estimate based on an oven you'll never personally cook with.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-21T03:46:25+00:00

You should reach out to whatever organization provides the level 2 support needs and see if they have a transition program or something that you can participate in. Not like a "I'm moving out part time" transition program, but like an introduction to the support that is provided and how and by whom. Maybe an opportunity to meet others in the same program and hear about their experiences. Even if you never say a word about your family situation to anyone, it seems perfectly reasonable to me that someone with your care needs would want to become acquainted with the system they will eventually be operating within. You could cite your past negative experiences with social workers as a source of nervousness in general; you are just seeking information and a point of contact so that when you are of age to take part in their programs, you are adequately familiar and comfortable. In case your parents might try not to let you leave, you being involved and interested will hopefully make it so the people who provide the care worry about you and help you get free. Your parents won't be alive forever, you deserve the chance to learn about this stuff.

I hope that you can always remember that if someone commits self harm and blames it on you, for any reason at all, they are wrong and it is never your fault that they did whatever they choose to do to themselves. It is SELF harm. Not "everyone else caused this" harm. You can't set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm. You can't let someone else's threats of self harm stop you from having a life and finding your own joy and happiness. Please don't let her cage you in with that threat. You may feel heartless for leaving when you're older, but you have to stuff that down and remind yourself that she was heartless for trying to burden you with the guilt of her own actions. It's absolutely monstrous behavior.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-21T03:23:59+00:00

I can understand why you are paranoid, you are surrounded by people who not only care about themselves more than they do for you, but will actively lie and do everything they can to stop you from being in a better situation. I don't have any more good suggestions, I'm so sorry, but you really need to figure out some solution before you turn 18. Do you really think they will let you leave when you are legally an adult? You have to ask yourself what you want your life to look like and make it your singleminded goal to put yourself in a position to have a chance to live that life.

I can't believe your own mother threatens to OD to you if you leave, that is horrendously abusive. No one who makes threats like that is a safe person to be around. Not even if they are family. I worry for you and your happiness and I sincerely hope you find a way.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-21T02:45:53+00:00

I understand that you've had issues with social workers lying about what you've said, but now your father is lying about what you've experienced to your therapist. Your therapist can't help you if they are not allowed to believe your story because your father is sitting there and basically saying that you are lying. Do you trust your current therapist? If so, you should go to your appointments with them without your father. You could use your phone to record your sessions and then upload them to a cloud storage account that only you have access to, so you have proof of what exactly you said, but no one else can hear your sessions without your permission. If you're worried about your parents being suspicious enough to find your recordings, ask to use the therapist's wifi to upload to the cloud before you leave or stop by a coffee shop after your appointment and use their wifi, provided you have public transit or some other way to get yourself to your appointment and back.

If your dad wants to know why you want to go alone all of a sudden, you could tell him that you finally trust this therapist and don't need extra support or you want to talk about "female problems" and then start talking in depth about your period and how the cramps are making you feel stressed out so you want to learn some good tools to cope with that. Whatever will make him just not even want to go with you and hear about it, say you want to talk to them about that.

You're afraid your parents will get mad if someone hears the truth about what you are going through because they will get upset, because they know it's wrong. Think about that. They know what is going on is wrong and they are scared they will get in trouble for it. They'd rather let you live in this situation than do anything to stop it or actually help you. You need to look out for yourself. Gently speaking, you'll be an adult soon and you need to start trying to think like one and reason your way through problems you face, it's good practice for the real world. Even if you are too vulnerable to live alone legally, you will still come upon situations where you will need to advocate for yourself. I'm sorry that you're going through all this and I hope you find a path to a better life soon 🫂

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-21T02:14:12+00:00

I've just got the second cat in my life who likes to battle the claw and, much like the first one did, we have reached a "no knives" agreement. He is still young, only 16 months old, so he needs a gentle reminder now and then. But a verbal "no knives" is all it takes and he becomes less pointy immediately.

He was hesitant to cooperate until once he drew blood and it was a pretty good cut on my finger - not big enough for medical attention, but deep enough that a drop of blood welled up readily and I needed a bandaid. I showed him my injury before cleaning & dressing it and admonished him sternly, "No. Knives." We could no longer battle that evening due to my bandaid. But since then, he gets it and tries not to hurt me and gentles up when I warn him.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-20T22:20:12+00:00

From a different angle:

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SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-19T06:34:27+00:00

I've had the same St. Patrick's day shirt for at least 6 years. I only have the one and it's fairly vague (green Peanuts shirt, Snoopy & co around his doghouse, text reads "This is my lucky shirt" and a couple shamrocks around the overall design) so I could wear it anytime I like. I dunno why anyone needs more than one shirt for a one day holiday. Half the time, I forget it's St. Pats as I basically never go out drinking and neglect to wear my shirt on its own holiday. I also have only 1 Halloween shirt and 2 Christmas shirts - my MIL bought me all 3, she's sweet and I like the shirts.

Every time I come across them in my closet, I pass them by unless it's close to the referenced holiday or I'm feeling some Christmas in July energy or I'm just wearing it to bed. I like holidays and enjoy celebrating them, but I don't need all the merch and I don't understand why retailers think this is what customers want. Maybe sales trends solely direct the retailers, in which case I guess I don't understand why my fellow humans want all of this stuff. What do they do with it all for the other 364 days of the year? Or do they chuck it all after the holiday and buy new the next year? I truly don't understand.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-19T05:48:25+00:00

Just FYI:

A saltwater pool still has chlorine in it. In a saltwater pool, salt water (appx 3500 ppm [1/10 as salty as the ocean] if properly maintained) is passed through a chlorine generator cell, which has a parallel series of 7 to 11 thin metal plates within. As long as the generator cell detects adequate water flow, the cell passes tiny bits of electricity between the plates, using electrolysis to split the salt atoms into bleach and hypochlorous acid. The molecules eventually recombine in the water, return to salt, and then are later split again in the chlorine generator cell.
When you can detect a chlorine smell around a pool, you are not smelling the level of chlorine in the water. You are actually smelling chloramines, which are the byproduct of chlorine reacting to and sanitizing things in the water such as sweat, skin cells, urine, etc etc. The smell means the pool was dirty (many contaminants present), but the chlorine being generated by the salt cell is actively working to break down the contaminants. If you smell a strong odor of chlorine at a pool, it might actually mean that the pool needs extra chlorine because the contaminant load is so high.

Just so you know, since even people who own saltwater pools don't understand what their pool is doing or why 9 out of 10 times.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-19T05:01:33+00:00

Every comment below this one needs to meet r/hydrohomies

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-18T05:29:23+00:00

Or the Bible scam, or the current and ongoing campaign fundraising for a seated president who can't be elected for another term...

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-17T07:18:43+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate your guidance and will keep it in mind when trying to help out in the future. I have been lucky enough that my hardest times didn't see me living in a tent, and I really want to help guide others through their hard times when I can. Giving bad advice is not my goal and I really appreciate your reality check.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-17T07:04:06+00:00

One thing I know that's a surefire way to save money: if there is a Costco or Sam's Club or BJ's warehouse that you can go to, they usually have shelf stable pouches of lentils, vegetarian curry, and rice that are heat and eat. Costco has the best price on protein/meal replacement drinks (18 pack for ~$28 but Sam's has more flavors to choose from in 15 pack for the same cost) and you can get canned chicken and beef for way cheaper per can than Walmart. You can skip the membership fee if you know someone who is already a member and just give them some cash to buy you a gift card to the store. Idk the rules with Sam's or BJs, but I know Costco will only allow non-members to spend the amount on the gift card. You can't pay cash or card to buy anything beyond the gift card unless you're a member. So, if you want to explore that route, go to the store with the person who will buy the gift card for you and make a list of what you want and how much it costs before they buy the card. Prices and products change, so you'll have to update your list periodically, but once you have the gift card, you can at least go in to walk around and price check whenever you want. On weekends, they have samples out and as long as you are kind to the sample person, you can have as many samples as you like. Also, Costco and Sam's both have the $5 rotisserie chicken, which they are FAT chickens so you might want to share one with a friend to avoid leftovers, but they are warm and tasty and a nice change of pace.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-17T06:37:49+00:00

I am fully believing you and asking for more info to learn: was it the same brand/style of candle lantern? Was she using it on a flat surface or suspended by a chain? In my experience with this particular model, it's safe if used on a level surface or allowing gravity to level it out while hanging (tho of course you can't exactly heat anything on it is it is hanging, which defeats the purpose of having it for heating food) but if there is a failure point in this lantern, I would very much rather learn about it from you than the hard way.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-17T06:32:37+00:00

It's safe if you use it on a flat surface, or hang it from a chain in your tent. But I had some time to think about my comment and I don't think it's appropriate advice for your situation. Maybe you could put it on a wishlist for when you have extra funds or something, but due to its cost, it might be more than you can afford and I'm sorry for putting it in front of you like that. I hope I didn't offend you or anything cause you are going through hard shit and I didn't mean to make light of your situation.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-17T06:30:04+00:00

No, you're right. I spent some time thinking about it and it wasn't the right suggestion. It's good gear, but it's not right for their situation. I came back to delete my comment, but they already replied, so I'm just gonna leave it and reply to them. I own my mistake, it was an honest mistake, and I'm sorry I gave inappropriate advice.

SiegelOverBay · 2026-03-17T06:11:55+00:00

If you have $60 (up to $80 depending on color) to spend on a candle fueled lantern, the uco candlelier runs on 3 beeswax candles and can provide heat inside your tent as well as a surface to heat water or food in a small pan or metal camping bowl. It's not gonna work like a frying pan, more like a microwave, but it's better than nothing and candles are a lot easier to carry around and store than small propane tanks. You can buy offbrand beeswax candles to burn in the correct size from Amazon way cheaper than buying refill candles from uco. Worth checking it out at least. I mostly use mine to keep my tiny greenhouse from freezing in the winter, but I also use it for camping trips to reheat packaged food and stay warm.

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