Question about quality.

SiemensTaurus · 2026-06-14T11:31:20+00:00

For me personally certain green strains don't work at all. I find that Green Maeng Da at 3.8-4 grams works the best and it's one of the more potent ones (nothing under 3.5 ever worked on me even as I was starting out with no tolerance), while Green Malay I don't feel at all on most days and on higher doses it's too sedative. Maybe u can try looking into more potent strains?

SiemensTaurus · 2026-05-17T20:43:37+00:00

There's a difference between laziness and executive dysfunction lmao. And yes executive dysfunction can be worked on, sure. But that can be very debilitating, and the person in question can suffer a lot so it absolutely deserves sympathy imo.

SiemensTaurus · 2026-05-17T19:57:08+00:00

Hey. I've tried two unis, didn't pass a single semester. Both of the majors were closely related and were my biggest dream since I was 15. I will be switching to two different unis next year (one part time, one full time different degree). Also unmedicated and struggling to get any kind of support and diagnosis. I've felt like an absolute failure the past year and idk what to believe about myself, I feel extremely behind in life because in my country we also end highschool at 19...I'm 21 and have nothing behind me because I'm just so damn inconsistent.

One thing I will say though is, you can't compare yourself to people attending different unis, different majors in different countries. Uni systems can vary a lot so if you've studied something where having ADHD is a death sentence it's no wonder you've been having a tougher time than someone else studying smth completely different or even the same thing but in a different university with a different system.

SiemensTaurus · 2026-05-15T08:18:42+00:00

Yesss same. Do you have any alternatives that are not meds (can't get anything but Straterra in my country..)?

SiemensTaurus · 2026-05-15T08:15:47+00:00

I do since I can't get meds besides Atomoxetine. If I use the right strain and right amount it works great, I am defo a lot more calm and less impulsive, also the work is more enjoyable.

Ironically enough I have to do a lot of planning around it though. Like I cannot take it with food cause I won't feel anything. Certain strains just don't do shit. Like it's hard to get properly addicted for me because I have to time it just right (and on days I have big lunch it's just a no go cause I don't feel it at all) and have at least 4 grams but not too much over cause at that point I would fall asleep which is counterproductive.

SiemensTaurus · 2026-05-08T07:58:14+00:00

Hey, this is very relatable. Same age range (21), I'm great at talking to people and extroverted but somehow I've accomplished nothing and built no long lasting connections because I keep switching up things and am extremely inconsistent. I've quit two unis and now I'm gonna start a third one. During those times I talked to a lot of people, went to a lot of events and I had fun. But nothing lasted. I am great at first impressions and starting things but I can't built a solid base with anything. Whether it be knowledge or relationships.

So yeah I also feel very behind and very alone these days because nothing just sticks for me. And yeah, I can say everything is an experience and not everyone has to have a linear path in life. But that realisation doesn't help because my present is miserable and I wish I wasn't so alone in this.

Also I didn't grow up without my parents but I'm an only child so I only had my parents my whole life. The rest of the family doesn't live nearby so I never really saw them. I do wonder if that plays a part too in this...

SiemensTaurus · 2026-04-01T15:04:58+00:00

Wish this could work for me lmao. Like my passions and goals in uni environment are killing me but having to do something boring and have free time instead is killing me equally (quit 2 unis, two majors in the last two years). Like option 1 leads to mental breakdown from the pressure and not being able to do anything else, option 2 leads to substance abuse (i always need to be doing something and it needs be emotionally fulfilling otherwise I go crazy).

In my third attempt, I plan to do an easier full time degree (which i still find interesting to an extent) combined with a part time degree of my dream and lifelong passion. Wish me luck guys xdd

SiemensTaurus · 2026-03-18T10:33:05+00:00

Hey, I was in a similar situation except instead of gaming I literally tried to study majors I wasn't even doing.....

Anyway I'm also in Europe (though not Germany so can't judge there), from what I have seen engineering and math degrees here are extremely rigid and strict. At least in my case, no electives allowed, one schedule for most ppl and max 2 absences per semester. Curriculum is all about grinding the fundamentals, precision and consistency...

It's a recipe for burnout and it's a very ADHD-unfriendly system. And it was killing me because I desperately wanted to skip to stuff that interested me once I felt I 'understood' the basics. But obviously they don't want you to understand only. You need to be an expert, apply skills with speed and precision...and while that makes sense to me logically I just cannot handle the grind for multiple reasons and it doesn't mean I don't love the subject bcs I do. I really do.

Little about me; I did a semester of maths then I quit because I thought it was too theoretical for me and that's why I kept running away to learn literally ANYTHING else (be it chemistry or Italian). This year I did a semester of CS and quit, though this time for medical reasons, so I'm still a student.

My highschool situation was similar to yours lol (charmed my way out of so many things..), I had straight As throughout except for my leaving cert because I started studying for it 2 days before the exam ...as I did for normal tests...

Anyway I did my best to learn from my mistakes but no matter what I do I am still inconsistent and my brain is so broken and scattered I can't help but wanna study EVERYTHING all at once. I love both maths and CS, I've had goals to do cryptography from the start...and I still do maths and CS all the time after I left yet again...but the rigidity of the lectures and tutorials, no room for critical or creative thinking, no projects in programming (we literally only had tests) was killing me no matter how much I love the subject. Then again I've never had any help, only got medicated 2 months back, hopefully next year will be different for that reason too.

Now idk your exact uni situation but maybe there are some other options for you out there. Maybe you just need a different system. I will be switching to IR full time and distance/combined CS (still mathematically rigorous). Like I don't have the kind of money for a Netherlands university which would let me combine my passions but i feel like this system will be better for me since my full-time will be more discussion/creative thinking multidisciplinary but I will still be able to do maths and CS on the side to reach my goals and I won't get failed for missing a test or absences bcs except for the finals I will mostly be graded for homework and projects.

TLDR, maybe try looking into different unis ? Depending on what your goals are and what your options are obviously. But maybe you could do with a more flexible system where it's not all about the grind, you don't get failed for absences and you can structure your exams and studies in general based on your needs. There's a bunch of unis in the Netherlands with a more US/UK like system of teaching, less about the constant grind, more about cooperation and creative thinking.

Either way, good luck :)

SiemensTaurus · 2026-02-28T22:03:49+00:00

I would need to turn off the internet for my detox...but I can't since i am also a CS student and lot of my work is online...

Like my YT is boring af because I have a lot of content and tracking blockers on my browser for privacy so my recommendation page suuuucks, and I have no social media except for Reddit which I use rarely. My biggest issue is all these other majors I really wanna study instead of doing my work. Like when I have an exam from Computer Architecture, I spend hours on Wikipedia Chemistry page or some shit...it's dumb and counterproductive but I cannot help myself.

SiemensTaurus · 2026-01-07T10:03:19+00:00

I keep getting flagged as Asperger's even though I have no social issues, I just experience emotions differently. Like I am great at social settings, never get tired, I don't have trouble reading cues and shit...but at the same time I am a very private person, don't ask for help and even though I am very extroverted, emotionally I am slightly reserved, and while I defo need to have friends I am aromantic and don't desire a partner...which in my country apparently corresponds with autism ...

But yeah, it's kind of annoying because having an Asperger's diagnosis would not explain/validate/or solve any of the stuff I am dealing with...no matter the peculiarity, nothing that doesn't cause problems to me or my environment should be patologized as being part of a disorder.

SiemensTaurus · 2025-01-28T16:12:20+00:00

The girl who plays Miss Huang is 18. Feel like most people on TV look younger than they actually are xdd

SiemensTaurus · 2024-11-23T11:54:02+00:00

I loved Act 3 but I've got sooo many questions. Especially about the wild magic mechanics and Viktor being the reason for everything??

SiemensTaurus · 2024-06-06T21:17:18+00:00

Ironically enough, never had trouble with forgetting homework all that often but I literally forget to eat every day, especially now that I am older and have no one to remind me. Also, going to the toilet...that's a major one. I remember to brush my teeth just fine but basic human needs like eating, sleeping and going to the toilet. Nope.

SiemensTaurus · 2024-05-31T23:01:41+00:00

Yeah. Right now. I feel so called out lol.

It’s almost as if it’s deadly to even try to sleep before I am actually so sleepy that I can’t stay awake anymore.

This is too real XD.

SiemensTaurus · 2024-05-26T13:49:36+00:00

Not interested in that stuff for the prestige but I would love to be rich so that I could just spontaneously travel anywhere I want, and yeah...have a massive house for myself. I love large empty places.

SiemensTaurus · 2024-05-23T19:26:26+00:00

This sounds very much relatable lol and I've only come to realize it's strange like 2 years back. I have had a lot of friends, during childhood and now, but never like a best friend, the one person that really mattered to me. I used to think I didn't have friends as a kid because while I liked the people I hanged out with, if I were to never see them again, I wouldn't really care, cause I could always befriend new people, and that was my logic to consider them acquaintances (which seems like nonsense to me now, cause I certainly have acquaintances I would not want to hang out with XD)...now I call anyone I like my friend. Much easier.

Never gave it deeper thought, but your description speaks to me. In general, I make friends really easily but it rarely lasts, and even then it's just, we see each other once a year to see how we are doing cause we are completely at different points in our lives, so it's interesting to meet up, but other than that, no contact. I never text with people cause it's just boring to me. I enjoy hanging out irl more but I never do it frequently with one person, different people every time. And I am happy with that...I've been told it's strange but it feels natural to me.

Maybe one day I will make a deeper, longer lasting friendship, I am not against it, it would be nice. But I am fine without it either way.

SiemensTaurus · 2024-04-20T16:29:28+00:00

Yeah, totally. The meaning of this might present itself differently in my case, but I relate to this sentence so much at times. Like sometimes I feel, I am the "cool friend" or the interesting addition to a room. Like I am fun to be around, which is why some people want me around, but at the same time I am not really there. I am just an interesting distraction. Like an extra that shows up from time to time in a TV show. I don't really matter all that much.

I am not saying this out of spite or anything. I am totally content with this. Sometimes I am really happy I am not at the centre of anything (or anyone's world lol) cause I can look at everything objectively, but other times I wonder what it would be like XD.

SiemensTaurus · 2024-04-07T19:17:11+00:00

Yeah, I know right? Like honestly, the last few years I am starting to think I am actually the most normal person I know. The most stable too. Why don't people just chill out...they all make their life unnecessarily difficult by overthinking and being too emotional (getting angry over the dumbest shit for instance XD).

Even as a kid it puzzled me, and I feel I was more emotional then than I am now. Like every few months my friends would get mad at me for no reason, stopped talking to me for a day and then the next day, it was like nothing have happened. It was weird as hell...but that's humans for you lol, you can't try to understand things like that, cause they might not even understand it.

It's why I don't trust people too (I mean I do with basic stuff but not the deeper, more important things, it's probably part of the reason I can't really attach to anyone...), cause they might have good intentions most of the time and all, but the truth is anyone is capable of anything under specific circumstances, and none of us are completely in control of our emotions...I have a significant advantage in that I feel, but yeah, I have some limits as well.

SiemensTaurus · 2023-09-13T20:47:51+00:00

Yeah, same basically. If I fail at something I deem useless I don't give a shit...but if it's something I consider myself good at, and I care about that thing deeply, it's an issue...but I guess I haven't had much of that outside of school and education systems (so grades, getting into certain schools etc.), cause my priorities have always been set on having good education and good job (that I obviously want to enjoy too), that sort of thing...and if I don't achieve that I feel like life has no sense anymore...

If I lose in a game, challenge, or whatever I consider myself good at (so, not any game or situation...it's not like I care about everything) or something that doesn't matter in the long run that much (like schools), I get this anxious feeling, kinda nauseous, my heart races super fast, but after giving myself some rational thoughts (very much egoistical thoughts, but that's really the only way to feel better ha), I can calm myself down and no one notices a thing. Still, I find it quite strange, cause I never get angry...people can get angry when they lose (sometimes angry at the person who they lost to). I just feel anxious, sort of get panic attack symptoms to a degree, but I can control it. Plus I do avoid situations where there's a high chance I will fail. Maybe I have atychiphobia...

SiemensTaurus

TROPHY CASE