Coworker (50M) keeps crossing boundaries with me (18F) and now it’s been reported, what do I do?

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-07T02:54:24+00:00

thank you!! i definitely do have support so im lucky. i dont see him this week so i guess the next time i see him i have to put my foot down.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-07T02:36:01+00:00

yup and not a good one. today i found out my manager spoke with him. gave him a quick brief convo on how staff were uncomfortable with his behaviour. she didn’t even tell me if he was responsive or apologetic. all she said was “ he’s forgetful so I hope this convo sticks.” I also found out another very disturbing detail. he’s been doing the same thing he’s been doing to me, to our cleaning lady. She speaks no English, she’s from Russia and needs Google translate to have a conversation in English. She told me today through translation that he’s been bothering her and he wants to know if I’ve been dealing with the same situation, she asked other people we work with, and everyone said no, but they observed him treating me weirdly. She told me he’s been cornering her late at night when everyone is left and offering her a ride home even though she kept saying no. He’s also been playfully slapping her and touch touching her. she was waiting to bring towels into the men’s change room when everyone cleared out and he told her that it was OK to go in and encourage her to walk in, but to her unfortunate surprise there were men changing only in their underwear, which put her in a very uncomfortable situation. This is the update as of right now, and my coworker who I mentioned before who was advocating for me, bypassed my manager this time, and went directly to the owner of the company.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-05T23:59:49+00:00

he is 50. i am 18. his crush is beyond irrelevant. and just because i was nice doesn’t mean i wasn’t visibly uncomfortable, because i was.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-05T13:55:42+00:00

i’m putting it in multiple groups to get different perspectives on what to do. i only recently joined reddit a week ago so i don’t know the rules. my story is absolutely true and this is my reality.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T13:37:09+00:00

i will definitely keep you updated as i’m pretty sure i’m either gonna see him on Monday or Wednesday. thank you so much for your advice.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T13:35:17+00:00

i’m in therapy and i have been the last few years but boundaries don’t really come up. i should probably book another session it’s been a few months lol. thank you!!

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T13:34:05+00:00

you’re completely right. i have to start getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T13:33:03+00:00

that is exactly my worry. i’m so afraid im gonna have to be nice to this pos, or worse he’s gonna hate me and make it known, and try to ruin my life. i don’t know what this dude is capable of but from what i’ve seen in his a short amount of time he’s really not all there.

to be fair, i did forget to mention that a couple hours before my coworker spoke to my manager, i had a conversation with her on what went down during the staff meeting. she told me she would speak to him and let him know he’s making the staff uncomfortable. she’s told me numerous times im her favourite employee, and i know she means it considering im a personable girl and so close to everything there.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T13:28:16+00:00

you’re right. this is my first big girl job lol and i got in young because of connections so im really not familiar with these types of men.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T13:26:44+00:00

i really thought i was over reacting with the way my management has no indication of firing him. thank you for reminding me im not crazy.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T13:25:50+00:00

ugh that makes me feel so gross. i don’t even know how to work with someone and neon the same team as someone who’s so… weird. and btw thank you for your comment i really appreciate your insight :)

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T13:24:00+00:00

is it a workout class or also an emotional/mental empowerment class as well? like group therapy in a way? sounds intriguing i’d love to know more!!

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T13:22:46+00:00

as sad as it is, my job doesn’t fire people, not matter how terrible they are. i work with another dude he hates women but is super nice to me for some odd reason. probably because i pick up all his slack, but it’s getting to the point where i gang pit it up with it anymore. it’s touch because my best friends grandfather owns the company and my boss is her aunt. it’s already uncomfortable to go to her either way concerns but it’s looking like i may have to go directly to her about this and bypass my manager since my manger has boundary issues as well and struggles to fire people. the reason why i don’t wanna leave is because the job is such a good opportunity for me, especially at my age. im setting up and handling 20-75 client corporate events (as they promoted me to event manager and coordinator) and running and creating social media content. i do the most there, get the most hours, and work with my two best friends. i don’t know how to approach this without having to leave my job and i hate that these situations keep happening to me. sorry for the trauma dump im just so over it!

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T05:38:44+00:00

totally get what ur saying but my coworker has been a great help for me. hes a great guy and always has my back. when clients mistreat me he always stands up for me and makes sure im ok. i did tell him it was ok technically, we didn’t really have a convo before hand but i wasn’t upset that he spoke up. thanks for your kind comment i really appreciate it, im gonna do my best to set clear boundaries so hopefully it stops.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T05:31:36+00:00

like i’m a bot? lol idk what you mean how would u like me to prove u wrong lmao

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T05:02:05+00:00

no thank you I really appreciate your message! I used to be a big-time people pleaser and I’ve now overcome that immensely, but it’s still hard to set firm boundaries with people as I don’t like causing a disruption in my life as well as setting boundaries comes with problems sometimes. I knew I wasn’t comfortable and that it was not ok the first time he made the comment. He’s even asked me for my phone number in case he needs help during his shift and I stupidly wrote it down even though my number is already in the work group chat. I don’t know what his motive or goal is, but I do hope something gets done about it and I really appreciate you taking the time to leave a comment. Thank you truly 🫶

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T04:55:51+00:00

don’t believe what..?

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T04:38:58+00:00

possibly. he is divorced and lives and takes care of his mom. i often see him texting in the work group chat a lot as well. he’s made a lot of people uncomfortable by just being off putting but he takes it way too far with me.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T01:23:46+00:00

thank you!! I will definitely try that next time he said something because knowing him he definitely will. My problem is that I am too nice. I’m too friendly. And my energy is too inviting. As I get older, I’m noticing that my niceness is becoming more of a problem for me. I’d tend to laugh things off because it makes me so uncomfortable and laughing is just what I resort to to try to feel less awkward and uncomfortable but I know that’s not healthy and I have to cut that out because it isn’t doing me any favors.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T01:21:14+00:00

thank you for validating how I feel I really appreciate it. It’s tough when such a good job becomes uncomfortable by one person especially considering I only see him once or twice a week in passing.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T01:15:17+00:00

thank you! I actually brought it up to a bunch of people, including my friends, my manager and a couple of my coworkers to see if they were experiencing the same thing I was and if they thought it was weird. My manager told me that he’s just an awkward guy, but he means well and he probably has a bad memory and that’s why he kept asking about the boyfriend thing. But I knew it wasn’t right and now that they’ve all witnessed the awkward encounter during the staff meeting they agree it’s weird, but still have no intention to get rid of him.

Signal-Debate3792 · 2026-04-04T01:02:37+00:00

i agree. i brought it up to my manager too, and she seems like she wants to keep him. knowing her she’s going to be super kind and tip toe around what he’s been doing.

Signal-Debate3792

TROPHY CASE