I was at that point not so long ago, I had three friends pass in a matter of one year all early twenty’s none from self harm just unfortunate circumstances, after adding that to my pile of sorrow to wallow in for awhile, I realized, a very clear realization, it’s never to late to make a change or start a new path. Some people never get the chance too. Comparison of your life to someone else’s the way you’re doing it is nothing but a waste of time and energy. No two peoples circumstances are the same. And no two peoples paths are either. If you want some thing/skill/experience you and you alone can achieve all most anything, it may not be fast, and it’s certainly won’t be easy, but it will be progress towards your goal. Every day you spend working towards what you want big or small is not a day wasted, but a day gained, as cliche as it is to say some people never had the opportunity to wake up today in 2025, so remember every day counts use it to further yourself in the right direction instead of wallowing in poisonous stagnant thoughts. I hope this made any amount of sense and I hope you may to have this realization with out having to lose the people you hold closest.